Page 96 of Seth
A net of shallow cuts covered the wrists and forearms. Dark red blood steadily welled from the cuts, suggesting the veins were slashed. The inner sides of the lower eyelids were pale, and even Ignaz’s lips had lost their color.
Casting his jacket aside, Seth rushed to the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit. His heart drummed in his throat when he knelt before the bed and fastened tourniquets above the cuts, then put pressure bandages on the wounds and texted David Haas.
“Suicide attempt. Bring universal blood. Come quick.”
* * *
David leftwith the sunriseslashing the darkness with a single bleeding stripe. Ignaz slept, heavily sedated, and the latest in a series of IVs infused glucose into his vein. For some time, Seth sat by his side surrounded by the bloody mess of his clothes and spilled water, with a single question exhausting his heart and mind.
Why?
Ignaz had been fine this morning. He’d laughed and smiled. He’d planned his future and looked forward to a new job.What on earth happened?
When it was time to remove the IV, Seth relocated the sleeping body into the master bedroom. Despite his body shutting down, he refused to sleep. In his head, he heard the raging desert storm and the low howling of the dying god. He knew the ulcers on the obsidian skin would reopen and bleed again as soon as he drifted.
At some point, he returned to the spare bedroom to clean the mess. He threw away his bloody clothes and the bedsheet and dragged the ruined mattress downstairs. He washed out every single drop of blood out of the bedroom and bathroom so nothing would remind him of last night.
When the brisk wind washed out the last traces of blood and detergent, Seth rested his back against the wall then slipped to the floor. His legs stretched out, palms resting on the wooden surface. Eyes closed, he listened to his house.
Behind his closed eyelids, the red sandstorm clouded and boiled on the horizon. It migrated, chaotically changing directions without any particular trajectory. The desert was as confused as its master. The worlds fused, and the first particles of sand sank under his skin and reopened a black ulcer. Set shifted on his hooves when someone called his name.
Seth opened his eyes.
Nothing had changed in his surroundings, yet something changed in the air. He got to his feet and slipped out of the room. He opened the master bedroom’s door only enough to slink through, then shut it without a sound.
The slight body lay on the bed, blank eyes staring at the ceiling. Seth expected to detect pain or for his darkness to resonate, but not a single emotion radiated from the boy as if he was dead.
Seth circled the bed and sat by Ignaz’s side.
“You shouldn’t have stopped me.” Listless, indifferent words came out quiet and calm.
“Why?” The desert whirled behind Seth’s eyeballs. The god from his dreams didn’t understand either.
“Because the only decent thing a whore like me can do in this life is die,” Ignaz said as if it was self-evident. His unblinking eyes brimmed, and two shimmering trails painted his temples. “My lover died trying to save me, and I keep living as if nothing happened. I didn’t even try to avenge him because I was too scared of the prosecution lawyers asking me uncomfortable questions. Whores like me don’t deserve to live, don’t deserve to be happy.”
“Who told you this?” Seth asked.
“He did. He was there too, two years ago, laughing. He didn’t touch me, but it was him who proposed using a bottle. I met him yesterday. God, I hate his laughter; it’s like nails against a chalkboard.” Ignaz shivered. “He asked things. I didn’t know what to say. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. God, I was terrified.” Ignaz cringed and pressed his hands to his ears. “I can still hear him in my head. It hurts. It hurts even more because he is right. I’m despicable. I broke my word, and he is my punishment. It’s no coincidence. I haven’t seen any of them since that night, but as soon as I selfishly think I can be happy, can be forgiven, I am plunged back into the nightmare. It’s my karma. I broke my word. I betrayed Natan. There’s no forgiveness for people like me. I should have done this long ago. Why didn’t you let me go?”
“Do you know his name?” Seth’s voice came out dull as he observed an expression he’d never seen on Ignaz’s face before—blood-chilling, paralyzing terror and resolve. Seth hated it.
“Why does it matter? There’s nothing you can do. No one can.” Ignaz’s eyes flew wide, white space surrounding his irises as his mouth extruded a feverish whisper. “And if you approach him, he will get under your skin too.”
“Do you know his name?” Ignaz tried to avert his face, but Seth grasped his chin and instilled eye contact. “Tell me.”
Ignaz shook his head and wrenched his chin out of Seth’s grip.
“What bar was it?” Seth whispered.
“It doesn’t matter. What can you do? Die because of me too? No.”
“I can do more than you think.” Seth exhaled words, and Ignaz settled his glossy eyes on him. Shining with tears, they looked like gems.So pretty...“I can make them pay. Every single one.”
“You can?”
“Tell me the bar and how to recognize him.”
* * *
