Page 1 of Seth
Seth saton topof Justin’s thighs; his knees hit the smooth white sand. The utter tenderness he felt toward the younger man brought a smile to his lips as he looked into the hazel eyes. Lying on his back, choking with blood Justin was so beautiful, so perfect. He didn’t talk anymore, just groaned the same way he used to groan in bed, seconds from orgasm. Horror splashed in the depth of his pupils as if Justin hadn’t realized yet that there was no hope. He kept looking up in disbelief, blinking as if expecting to wake up from this nightmare any moment.
So naïve, so young, so beautiful; he would be perfect, if not for the noise. Seth cringed. Wheezes of air slipped through the cut were accompanied by the blood bubbling in the windpipe.
Still, so splendid…A wave of affection urged Seth closer as he pressed Justin’s hand to the wound, helping him stop the bleeding. The swishing sound of the slit trachea died, and Justin swallowed, gasping for air.
Good boy,Seth thought and licked the tears off Justin’s cheeks, then planted a gentle kiss over his wide-open mouth, stealing one of his last breaths.Too bad you weren’t the one…
Justin was his favorite yet; that was why this time disappointment hit harder than usual. He’d hoped that Justin had been made for him, that he’d understood him.
Justin never had.
It’s okay now,he thought, looking into the wide, glistening eyes.I’m not mad.
He caressed Justin’s cheek, brushed his soft, caramel hair off his sweaty forehead. Wiping off his tears, he tried to reassure the younger man that there was no need for fear. He wouldn’t make him suffer. He wouldn’t hurt him. Not for long anyway. The times of fight and passion were over. The great peace and calmness were coming.
Shaking, bleeding, Justin finally looked him in the eye after two months of avoiding his gaze. Seth froze, mesmerized. Behind the dilated pupils, Justin’s soul lay naked, ready for his touch. This was the most intimate moment they had ever shared. A pang of sadness jolted through his heart.
Too bad Justin isn’t the one.
A thin layer of perspiration coated Justin’s pale, shimmering skin. The bloody scarf of silence, Seth had gifted him with his blade, emphasized his soft eyes and delicate features.
So perfect.
Staring into the sparkling depth of his eyes, Seth finally felt the connection between them. A deep sense of kinship filled his chest, tugging at his soul, as he watched the life fading in this young, beautiful body. For a second, Seth wondered if he’d made a mistake, if Justin was the one after all. What if he hadn’t tried hard enough? What if he hadn’t given it enough time?
Justin’s lips parted, his brows drew together, and tears rolled down his pallid cheeks. He closed his eyes and opened them again, spilling more drops as his mouth refused to work. He tried again and again until a single word bubbled out, breaking the perfect silence. “Why?”
Seth tsked.
No… This can’t be him.Relief washed over as his smile grew stronger.Still, I loved him…
Justin’s bluish lips distorted with effort. Seth shook his head. Releasing the bleeding throat, he pressed his finger to Justin’s mouth, silencing him; his other hand stroked the side of the alabaster face. There was no need for words anymore. Words would only ruin the moment.
Justin blinked; his gaze darted all over the cloudy, gray sky. His slender arms slapped Seth’s chest as if he searched for something. Under Seth’s weight, his hips jerked in an attempt to throw his murderer off, and blind panic took control over his body, thrashing his limbs.
Seth sighed. Despite the amount of spilled blood, Justin’s wound wasn’t lethal yet. Yes, he’d slashed his trachea and jugular vein so the lack of air, blood loss, and horror would prevent Justin from fighting, but if the stupid boy wouldn’t behave and listen to him, the moment would be ruined. Without pressure applied to Justin’s throat, the air might get sucked into the vein and right into his heart, which would cause an air tamponade and gas embolism. If that happened, his body would die sooner than planned.
Such a waste of energy…In dissatisfaction, Seth caught Justin’s hand and forced it back to his throat to close the wound. Why had Justin never understood him? Why was he wasting the minutes they had left when they could share this beautiful moment? There was no hope, so why fight it when he could accept it, enjoy it? And there he was, making everything perfect for this spoiled brat. No, Justin certainly wasn’t the one. He had never appreciated Seth’s efforts.
Seth brought his face closer to Justin’s, his expression stern as he mouthed, “If you release your throat, you will bleed out and suffocate.”
Stilling his breath, Seth watched the revelation swirling in Justin’s eyes as the younger man finally realized—this was the end. The horror, mixing with confusion and panic, trembled behind his eyes as he grabbed his murderer’s shoulder, releasing his own throat again. The current of blood broke out from the glistening wound, and Seth sucked in a deep breath of disappointment.
The stupid boy was ruining everything again… It was time to finish.
Slapping the weakening hand away, he put pressure on the wound as his other hand went behind his back and fished out a knife. The sharp, rounded blade with a gut hook on the blunt side lay perfectly in his hand. Yet he wavered.
Was the skinner knife good enough to cut through the costal cartilages? Had he sharpened it enough? Would it leave lots of fractures? He would hate it. The thought of causing Justin unnecessary pain eroded his soul. He should have bought a proper autopsy dissecting knife or scissors. Justin deserved it, didn’t he? Yet, somehow, heknewit should be this knife.
Despite Justin’s deception, Seth still wanted him, loved him.
“Soon, it won’t hurt anymore, I promise,” he said silently as the edge of the knife nicked the skin below the notch of Justin’s throat.
“No-no-no-no–” Bloody saliva bubbled at the corners of Justin’s mouth. He shook his head and grabbed Seth’s hand, trying to stop the blade. Such weak, jerky, uncoordinated movements wouldn’t prevent Seth from finishing his business, but they might unnecessarily complicate the process.
“Easy now,” Seth mouthed every word, letting Justin read his lips. He had never done anything like this before and was a little stressed that he might accidentally stab Justin’s heart. That would be unfortunate.
Seth increased the pressure, and the knife inched deeper. Crimson blood beaded at either side of the blade. Struggling to control Justin’s jerking hips and knees, he forced the blade down, feeling it scratch the ribs but not cut through them, then guided the knife toward the belly. Despite having to fight Justin’s hands, the slice looked smooth, perfect.
