Page 56 of Obsession of the Egoist
“Are you for real? Do you think you can seduce me with cheap lines after you tried to rape me?” A short laugh broke out from Kuon’s chest.
“Kinda… Am I succeeding?” Yugo moved his face up, freezing an inch away from a kiss.
“No.” The corners of Kuon’s mouth dropped, as he nervously licked his lips. “Stop messing around.”
“You said you want things sweet. I’m trying.” Yugo smiled. “I want to kiss you so bad, but if I do, you’ll say that I forced you again, so you have to do it first.”
“Are you delusional? Let go, or I will hit you.” Squeezing his hand between their chests, Kuon slammed his palm against Yugo’s face, then shoved the man back.
“Hit.” Yugo breathed into his palm. Catching Kuon’s hand with his own, he pressed his tongue to Kuon’s wrist, licking a trail up to his fingers. Kuon tensed when Yugo nibbled at his index finger but didn’t pull away.
“Stop.”
“I’m not doing anything,” Yugo murmured. The skin between Kuon’s index and middle finger tasted like soap. Giving it a long lick, Yugo took his middle finger into his mouth and gave it a light suck. Kuon swallowed. A shiver ran down his body, reverberating in Yugo’s tongue. “You became even more sensitive. I wonder if the lack of vision did it?”
“Shut up,” Kuon breathed. “I must be not right in the head for even considering you.”
“Is that so? Why did you stop me then? Did you expect that we would be friends, or I would patronize you?”
“No.”
“Maybe you want revenge? Do you want to kill me, make me suffer?”
“No.” Kuon tried to yank his hand out of Yugo’s grasp but failed.
“Then what?” Yugo nibbled at the side of Kuon’s palm, expecting an answer. When minutes stretched, and Kuon said nothing, Yugo groped over the blanket, feeling Kuon’s groin. “Isn’t it because you want me too? You can stop this at any moment. Push me away, and I will leave. Or be honest and say what you really want. You’re hard and shaking, but I barely touched you.”
A flash of lightning lit Kuon’s aroused face, and Yugo leveled their lips, waiting for Kuon to decide. His head swam from the intimacy, as thoughts rushed through his mind.The truth is you don’t want me to stop. You want me to force you, so you don’t have to make a decision. You want an easy way out and an excuse for your pride, don’t you? But if I do this, you will forever run away from me. If I don’t, will you choose me?
Yugo’s pulse spiked as the fear of rejection rose with every passed second. The more he waited, the clearer he understood that no matter what Kuon said he would never be able to leave him alone, not when he’d heard sparks of acceptance in Kuon’s words. “What will it be, Kuon?”
CHAPTER 14
“FUCK IT,” KUON GROWLED;his facial muscles contorted, betraying his inner war. He didn’t know why his body reacted to Yugo’s touch. Why his heart choked with blood every time the man spoke to him. His mind kept screaming that it was merely the afterglow of Stockholm syndrome, but at that moment, he didn’t care. For the first time since their small ride, Kuon felt alive again. And that realization made a dent in his wall of denial, as he couldn’t help but admit that Yugo’s touch magnetized his body. The sound of his voice raised the small hairs on his nape and arms. When Yugo was around, his every cell tensed in attention, and Kuon failed to say what caused it—conditioning or lust.
He’d had many women in his life. Wanting to forget Yugo’s touch and check his sexuality, he’d let Rick kiss him too. He liked Kristina, and a part of him was sure that he could be happy with her and Nelly, but none of them made him feel this suffocating need to be touched; none of them made him feel alive.Why does it have to be you? I must be insane for letting you into my life again. Why did you have to say all this shit, as if you care? I was finally moving on, why the hell did you do this, and why did it make me happy? I’m an idiot… A murderer, a rapist, a drug lord. No morality, no code, no rules. Why, of all people, does it have to be you?Yugo’s breath tickled his lips, gravitating him.
“Fuck it,” Kuon repeated, giving up. Grabbing the flap of Yugo’s jacket, he breathed the words into Yugo’s mouth, “I will so regret this.”
His teeth clanged against Yugo’s smile. Fingers, feeling the familiar warmth and relief of the ripped body, tingled. The smell of heady cologne muddled his thoughts. His blood pressure, elevating, set his body on fire and erased the last remnants of rationality. He didn’t want to think anymore, didn’t want to try and understand Yugo or himself, didn’t care what was wrong or right, and if this had a future. He just wanted to quench this thirst Yugo’s touch instilled in his body.
The coppery taste spiked his senses as he bit down on Yugo’s lip, then sucked onto it, submitting to the momentary insanity. His hands shook when he ripped Yugo’s jacket off the man, fisted his shirt, and tore the fabric open. The sound of the buttons hitting the floor and scattering around joined the pattering of the rain. Kuon didn’t care. His head swam when his fingers touched Yugo’s chest.
BA-DUMP, BA-DUMP, BA-DUMPdrummed under his finger pads. Kuon froze, listening for Yugo’s chaotic breathing burning the insides of his mouth and the suffocating, impossible fullness extending in his chest.
“Kuon…” Yugo’s hands tore the hospital gown off his shoulders. Hot lips skidding over the side of his face found his neck, and Kuon sucked in a sharp breath as strong teeth sunk into his collarbone. Over and over, Yugo kissed, sucked, and bit down on his neck, imprinting his presence into his skin. “You’re an idiot indeed… You had a chance. Not anymore. There is no way I’ll ever let you go. You belong to me, you hear?”
Kuon blinked behind the eye shields, trying to process the words, but the meaning eluded him. Scalding heat engulfed him, evaporating the last resistance from his body. Giving up, he concentrated on the shaky touch of Yugo’s cold fingers. Trailing up Kuon’s forearm and neck, Yugo’s fingers followed the burning track left earlier by his lips. Throwing the blanket away, Yugo’s knee brushed against his inner thigh. Kuon arched his chest, seeking more sensation.
“I haven’t touched you yet, but you’re leaking already,” Yugo rasped. “When was the last time you touched yourself?”
“I can’t … remember.”
“Have you slept with anyone after me?”
“No.” An electric impulse pierced Kuon’s body as Yugo’s lips closed around his cock. A maddening urge, blazing through his core, burnt out his thoughts. Crumpling the sheets in his fists, Kuon groaned, feeling the upcoming, unstoppable orgasm tightening his balls. “I’m going to…”
Yugo lifted up. His palms slipped under Kuon’s knees, pulled them up, folding his body in the middle. Kuon yelped, as his knees pressed to his chest. Getting comfortable on the bed, Yugo tugged Kuon’s ass closer. Shame flooded Kuon’s mind when the hot tongue lapped over his anus and balls. Twisting his upper body, he grasped the pillow on his left with his right hand. He’d already forgotten how embarrassing sex with a man could be, and how shameless Yugo’s touch was.
