Page 45 of Obsession of the Egoist
Yugo’s single touch makes me nervous, yet her kisses didn’t even speed up my pulse.The softness of her lips still lingered over his, when he rubbed his temple in confusion.I’m weird. Isn’t this more natural? Shouldn’t I be elated?
Not knowing what to say, but needing to say something, he asked, “Wait… Aren’t you married?”
“You weren’t listening,” she accused in a low voice. “I’ve told you, I was widowed four years ago.”
“You did? Sorry…” His thoughts scattered as an unspoken question hung in the air. Wishing to escape the situation, or delay dealing with it, he said, “Let’s talk inside.”
“IS THAT SO…” YUGO BREATHED,watching the kiss linger. He couldn’t see Kuon’s face, but he didn’t need to see his expression to recognize the hand gesture. The same gesture that often followed their kisses.
Worn asphalt, absorbing the sun, exuded heat, but despite the high temperature, Yugo felt chilly. He couldn’t blink, staring at the thin arm wound around Kuon’s wide back through the miasma streaming up from the overheated ground. The blonde woman, dressed in a light blue sundress that matched her eyes, led Kuon away.
When the couple disappeared behind the front door of the apartment building, something swelled and pulsed in the pit of his stomach.
“Well, then…” he managed. “This is on you, Kuon. I hope you’re ready for the consequences.”
Getting into the car, he shot a glance in the rear-view mirror. Greg’s black eyes feasted on his expression. “Check the girl’s DNA. Compare it to Kuon’s.”
“The girl is easy, Boss. She is in the hospital,” Greg shrugged before he paused. “How do I get Kuon’s samples? Do you want me to approach him?”
“No. Check the garbage for used bandages. There have to be traces.”
“Yes, Boss.”
His gaze shifted to the gray apartment building that looked more like a concrete box than someone’s home. The pulsing in his stomach became violent. Like a hot abscess, it throbbed and itched, needing to be cut open and cleaned.
When the eternity passed and the car didn’t move, Yugo asked, “What?”
“Mio called.” When Yugo ignored, Greg added, “He wants to meet you.”
“Send him to Tobias.” Searching the windows, Yugo wondered if he would be able to see Kuon in one of them.
“I did. He said he’ll drop by anyway, and that you can’t avoid him this time, because he won’t leave until you talk to him.”
“When?”
“I believe he’s already waiting.”
Pushing his hand through his hair, Yugo closed his eyes and rested his head against the backrest. “Drive.”
SITTING ON THE SOFA, KUON LISTENEDfor the light movements of the woman. Kristina didn’t talk, and Kuon didn’t rush to break the oppressive silence.
KATANG.
“Coffee,” she said. Kuon strained his ears, listening for the spot where the cup hit the table. Guiding his palm alongside the cool glass of the coffee table, he found the corner then, placing his palm on the edge, moved it toward the place from where the sound had come. The hot, ceramic cup touched his palm. Finding the handle, he lifted it to his lips. His senses spiked when the aromatic drink slipped down his throat. During the last few months, Kuon had knocked over so many cups of tea and coffee that he didn’t risk returning the cup to the table anymore, even though it burned his palms.
She sat by his side; her naked leg brushed against his knee. His skin prickled under her inquisitive gaze.
“Did I rush things?” When Kuon didn’t reply, she continued, “I’ve never seen a female presence around the apartment, and you’ve never talked about anyone, so I assumed…”
Kuon tried to find the right words, fruitlessly. “I’m sorry. I do like you...”
“But?” Her tone went up, and Kuon realized that she wouldn’t give up on the topic without a proper answer.
“There is someone.” He lifted his free palm in a give up gesture, then added, “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated…” Kristina repeated in a thoughtful voice as if tasting the word on her tongue. “Where is she, if you don’t mind me asking? Why isn’t she with you?”
Sinking into silence, Kuon didn’t know what to say. He’d never liked talking about his personal life, convinced that things like sex, love, and affection belonged to privacy. The thought of admitting that it wasn’t a woman made him feel awkward, embarrassed, and completely self-conscious.Funny… I keep thinking about Yugo, yet I can’t even admit he is a man. Aren’t I a hypocrite?
