Page 12 of Obsession of the Egoist
The mix of emotions washed over Kuon as he recognized the voice. Even though he hadn’t heard it in years, he could have never mistaken it. Husky, low, charred, it brought back memories.
“I’ll wait outside,” the lawyer said, and the door closed with a quiet click.
“Long time no see, Kuon. I wish I could say you look good, but you look like shit.”
Kuon sighed, “Don’t waste your time, Gray. I won’t sign it.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s just a formality.” A hand touched his cheek, slipped up to his temple. “What have you done to yourself? If you don’t care about your life, think about Mom. She has been restless since you enlisted in the UN. You could have at least called her.”
“Don’t.” The needles of Gray’s words pierced Kuon’s chest, instilling guilt in him. Gray had always known what to say to manipulate his feelings and reactions. Hating the power Gray had over him, Kuon jerked his chin away, but the persistent hand found his skin again.
“Mom can’t wait to see you. She prepared your old room. Can you imagine she still keeps your old toys?” Gray chuckled, and Kuon’s guilt aggravated, feeding his now ever-present anger. He clenched his teeth, trying to control himself. “She blames herself for you leaving. She thinks she wasn’t a good enough mother to you.”
“Stop…”
“Kuon, whatever happened before, it’s over now.” Gray’s arms wrapped around his torso and squeezed him in a painful embrace.
The harsh smell of tobacco and menthol brought back fragments of memories of his fuzzy childhood.Dad used to smoke the same brand…
“I’m here now. Nothing bad will ever happen to you again, I promise. I have already arranged a good clinic. Relax and let me fix everything, okay? You’re going home with me.”
Palm against Gray’s chest, Kuon tried to push him away, but for some reason, his hand shook. A part of him wanted to trust Gray, just like in their childhood; he wanted to accept his offer and let Gray fix everything. To feel protected, loved again. To be surrounded by family and the care they provided. He couldn’t. He wasn’t a kid anymore, and Gray was no longer his family. Biting back the weakness, he blurted out, “I’m fine. I don’t need your help.”
“Yes, you do. You’re lost, I can see it.”
“I’m not lost! Stop treating me like a kid. It makes me sick!” Kuon pushed harder.
“Fine!” Gray easily gave up, releasing him from the embrace. “But I’m not going anywhere. You will go home with me. This isn’t negotiable. Now, let me see your eyes. I’ve read that the healing isn’t going well, and you’re facing the risk of corneal perforation.”
Persistent fingers chafed his cheek with ice. The only thought of Gray pitying him made his guts clench.
“What are you, a doctor? Let go!” Anger breaking out, Kuon slapped Gray’s hand away, before throwing a punch forward. His knuckles burned with the impact of connecting with soft flesh. “Stop acting like you care! You aren’t my brother! I don’t need your help! I’m not coming home!”
“Yes, you are. Whether you like it or not, I’m your brother.”
“Is that so? Where have you been when I needed your help two years ago? Where have you been when I was kidnapped and tortured? Did you even notice I was gone?” Kuon’s lungs burned from screaming; he turned away and slammed his fists down on the metal table. Pressure built in his eyes, and his head buzzed with a rush of blood. “Back then, I needed your help. Not anymore. Go home.”
“Kuon, calm down.” The sweet, patronizing notes disappeared from Gray’s voice, revealing the worry. “We can talk about it at home. All you need to know is that I tried to help you. I understand you don’t trust me, but persuading you isn’t my priority right now. I’ll explain it to you later if you let me, but we’ve got to get you out of here first.”
“Are you deaf? Someone got arrested because of me. I’m pleading guilty.”
“No, you won’t,” Gray said, “I’ve read your report. His too. No one forced him to follow you. It was his choice.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes, you are. I won’t allow this.”
“I’m not asking you.”
“Kuon, you can make my life easy by keeping your mouth shut and letting Stephan do his work. Everybody will be happy. Or you can plead guilty and make things hard for me. This way, no one will be happy, you understand? Either way, you’ll go home with me.” A hand cupped Kuon’s throat, demanding he turn around. “Now, remove it. Let me see.”
“Guards!” Kuon called. Gray’s hand clasped over his mouth, another wrapped around Kuon’s abdomen. The heat of Gray’s chest, pressing against his back, seeped under his skin.
“Easy! You don’t want to make Mom cry even more, do you? Neither do I.” Gray’s voice lost all the warmth, picking up business-like notes. “Let’s make a deal.”
Kuon’s chin rose, escaping the tobacco-smelling fingers. “What deal?”
“You cooperate. You go to the clinic I choose. You behave and meet Mom.” Kuon snorted and shook his head. “In exchange, I’ll let you kill Yugo. I knew one day you would want to, so I’ve got things prepared.” When Kuon didn’t answer, Gray continued, “If you don’t want to dirty your hands, I can destroy him from afar. You can sit back and watch him writhe in agony.”
