Page 27 of Obsession of the Egoist
Yugo’s heart halted, washing him in cold sweat. Bitterness flooded his mouth, making him want to spit. He gulped it down and shook his head, unable to process the blood-curdling image, then dropped his gaze.
Horrible…he thought as his masochistic gaze found its way back to Kuon’s upper face. A sharp pain of loss clogged his heart as he watched the opaque milky surface clouding Kuon’s, once dark, soulful eyes. The eyes he used to love were now dead, sparkless, empty.
He turned away, unable to look any longer. His lips twitched, fists clenched as he sucked the air through gritted teeth, but his emotions only unraveled further. Without granting Kuon another look, he jumped off the windowsill and left the doctor’s office.
KUON’S LIPS TWITCHEDas he tried to glue a smile on his face. His eyes burned, blood chilled in his veins stopping his heart and, for a moment, he was grateful for the eye-drops that rolled down his cheeks as they hid his confusion.
The situation dawned upon him.Yugo left…The hurried footfalls of the fancy shoes unmistakably belonged to him. When the door slammed, his hand flew up, stopping the nurse’s hand in the air.So what if he left? Why do I care?
“It has to be done, Herr Leiris. Please, let me.” A thin, flowery scent tickled his nose as she freed her hand. Kuon sunk his canine teeth deep in his lip, closing his eyes. Trying to control his emotions, he sucked a breath in and rested his back against the medical table.
Why did he leave? Was he disgusted to the point where he can’t even look at me?Kuon tried to force a smile again, but his lips twitched, and the corners turned downwards.I must look like fucking Freddy Krueger…
ANGER FILLED RICK’S HEARTas hewatched Kuon’s hands grip the sides of the examining table. The hatred toward Yugo expanded in his chest; taking up all the space, it suffocated him. He’d seen Kuon’s face many times. Even though it wasn’t glossy-red anymore, he still couldn’t get used to the matte whiteness of his eyes and the brownish skin covering his eyelids, but that was a weak excuse for Yugo’s behavior.
Fucking asshole!Getting to his feet, he cast a long glance at the white slash of Kuon’s mouth. “I’ll be right back.”
Not waiting for a reply, he stormed out of the room. The blood boiled in his ears, demanding he kill, but as soon as his pupils fixed on Yugo, the urge lessened.
The man stood hunched forward with his elbows pressed against the beige wall, his eyes closed, face pale. Rick squinted.
“I have no idea who the fuck you are, but leave him alone. Last warning.” Towering above the man, he added, “He was fine until you came. Now he is a wreck again. I don’t care what you want and what kind of past you share. Leave. Him. Alone.”
“How did this happen?” Yugo asked as if he hadn’t heard a word Rick said. Despite the paleness, his voice came out steady and calm.
Rick scowled, wondering if he should explain anything to this arrogant bastard. There was no reason for him to talk, but the single thought of Yugo going to Kuon for answers settled his mind.
“Afghanistan. Six months after the election of the new president, Baha al Din Salah, and enforcement of his new Anti-Terrorism Reform, the terroristic group Al-Amin seized the school the youngest daughter of the president attended.” Rick started, catching himself on a thought that he reported, rather than explained. “Almost three hundred people were taken hostage, but the demands of the terrorists weren’t immediately met. On the third day of negotiation, we heard explosions, and soon everything caught on fire. We were thrown into the flames to save the kids who, by that time, due to the dehydration and heat, were barely able to stand. Those bastards were loaded with weapons and explosives. A lot of our people were killed as the rest of the suicide bombers detonated their bombs.”
Rick rubbed his eyes with his fingers, as the revived memories drained him of strength.
“One of the buildings collapsed. Kuon, another guy, and I were assigned to seize a side building, which we knew was already empty. It was a poor strategic point and didn’t overlook the gym where the kids were held. Kuon ignored the order and rushed to the gym. We had to follow. Our third was killed by a stray bullet.”
“Why would they send you to an empty building?” Yugo scowled, and Rick explained.
“The commanding officers didn’t like Kuon, but it wasn’t only them. Barely anyone would work with him. They didn’t want him anywhere close to the epicenter.”
“Why?”
“Bad omen. Going on a mission with Kuon was equal to suicide. He often broke orders, which forced soldiers to face a moral dilemma—to break them too or to leave him with no backup.”
“Why was such behavior tolerated?”
“No one knows. Anyway, in the fire, we lost sight of Kuon; when found, he had already taken off his gas mask and put it on a kid who couldn't breathe on his own. He handed the child to our third, then rushed back in, using his bandana to protect himself from the smoke. I covered him when we entered the gym. It was already on fire. A lot of ours was there too, getting wounded kids out. But in the mess, we missed that under the dead bodies, someone still lived. I was carrying two kids when Kuon shoved me aside. We tumbled down, and a shock wave hit me as the last explosives detonated. I can’t remember much after.”
Rick ran a palm over the healed burn on his left arm, ignoring the neurotic fumbling of a man looking for something in his pockets.
“When I came to my senses, Kuon tossed on the floor, pressing his hands to his eyes. He was wounded, and parts of his clothes were burned through, but he managed to extinguish the flames.”
The tiny hairs all over his body bristled, as Rick remembered the crimson glossy skin surrounded Kuon’s tightly squeezed eyes, the singed eyelashes and brows.
“His eyes were fucked…” Rick gritted his teeth, and the silence flooded his ears. Squatting down, Yugo lit up a cigarette. “So, you see, I’m serious about him, and I have zero intention of giving up. If you got the message, get lost. He deserves to be happy, but people like you don’t understand things like this.”
Rick peered into Yugo’s eyes, expecting a reply.
YUGO BLEW OUT THE SMOKE,trying to calm his nerves. With every word Rick said, the realization of his indirect involvement in the events that left Kuon blind dawned upon him.
The chain of events, formed in front of his eyes: the trucks, loaded with weapons crossing the desert; men dressed in knee-long, loose tops, and hanging pants, unloading boxes onto the withered ground; young men and women strapping the explosives to their vests. He could see Kuon’s life as if he’d been there himself. The dirt and blood, the explosions and swishing bullets; the seizure of the school; Kuon, tossing on the ground covering his eyes with his palms. The more he thought of it, the more he realized how his political games had affected Kuon’s life.
