Page 43 of Love of the Egoist
Yugo started to burn with a low blue flame. Something nasty swirled in his chest, poisoning his blood. He smacked Kuon’s hip with his palm.
“Get on all fours, present yourself,” Yugo said; his voice hoarse. His devilish gaze never leaving Kuon’s face. His attentive eyes searched for rarely surfacing emotions, that was why he noticed how hard Kuon’s jaw muscles clenched.
I didn’t break him…Relief brought a smile to the corners of his mouth. Kuon would give up the act and kick Yugo in the gut very soon, he was sure about it.
Going for a preventive strike, Yugo added in a casual, contemptuous tone, “You like when I’m touching you inside, don’t you? Touch yourself.”
WHILE YUGO CLEARLY ENJOYEDhimself, Kuon felt his pride being torn to pieces. Hearing another order Kuon, vibrating with electrified emotions, got on his hands and knees, gritted his teeth in shame, and pressed his cheek into the pillow. Having absorbed the smell of cigarettes and a heady scent of cologne, it smelt like Yugo.
The skin on his back stretched, and he had to arch his chest to subdue tension, but it only brought his ass higher in the air. Realizing it, he shut his eyes in shame and pushed his ass lower. Arching his back caused some welts to tear.
A rim of cold steel caught his balls when he passed his cuffed hands between his legs. His finger reached his creased entrance. There, between his legs, he was hot and tense. His cuffed wrists rubbed against the tender flesh of his crotch, evil steel pinching the skin and his pubic hair.
He cringed, distress raging in his depths, but his surface remained dead calm.
His face was in flames when he pushed his finger through the tight ring of muscles, forcing it deeper. It burned, and his sphincter clenched. Kuon’s body stiffened, and his air passage blocked, refusing to let air in. It wasn’t only physical pain. His pride and self-respect were now being tested in the most agonizing way he had ever experienced in his life. But he didn’t plan to do anything.
If Yugo wants a slave, he can have a slave all he wants. Any place in the world, be it a brothel or a surgical table, is better than that fucking white room.
Kuon squinted down. Yugo’s face drowned in shadows, but Kuon picked up his quivering lips and narrowed eyes.
“Well, it looks like you’ve learned your lesson well…” Yugo purred in a dripping with venom voice, stretching his thin lips in a fierce smile. “I think it’s time to reward you and introduce you to adult life by showing you how good real sex can be.”
Kuon flinched as if he’d been hit by the whip again. He closed his eyes for a second and hunched his shoulders, hiding in them. Willing himself to relax he tried to get his control back and calm his shallow breathing.
“On your back,” Yugo ordered, clenching his teeth and, not waiting for him to oblige, shoved Kuon on his side.
A rough palm captured Kuon’s ankle. Yugo jerked it toward him, tugging Kuon’s hips closer. A sharp pain ripped through his back—the scabs cracked under the dressings. The thought that they would bleed again touched Kuon’s mind.
He’s angry…Kuon thought with complete indifference, shifting his gaze toward the window. The curtains were down and dim light filtered in through small slits.I wonder if he ever opens the curtains. Can the river be seen from here?
Yugo lunged, pinning him down with his weight. His knees spread muscular legs apart. Yugo’s naked chest felt hot against his own, and tobacco breath fluttered against his lips before Yugo leaned forward for another forced kiss. A hot palm cupped Kuon’s balls, rolled them for a moment; fingers tangled in his pubic hair, then crawled lower.
Every nerve screamed in Kuon’s body as Yugo’s finger pushed inside. Blind fear and sparks of panic washed over him. His limbs grew torpid, his heart the opposite, tripled its rate. Pumping out his trembling breath, Kuon noticed Yugo’s face darkened with concern, but he was too busy containing his emotions to pay it much attention.
The man removed his finger, wetted it with his saliva and once again touched the shrunken sphincter. The first knuckle slipped inside.
“Relax, or it will hurt again…” Yugo’s voice sounded soft, sympathy streaming from him.
Kuon felt confusion, trying to find the reason for Yugo’s attitude, but the finger pushing to his prostate brought him back to reality. Yugo had no place in his heart for sympathy. That was only in his imagination.
The clear gray of Yugo’s eyes peered into the depth of his own. Yugo’s lips stole his breath away, and Kuon closed his eyes in an attempt to contain his feelings. All of this was too much and Yugo’s face in front of his own was a very appealing target he could use his fists to scratch.
The hatred… the softness of Yugo’s lips and tongue… the urge to fight back… the spicy and woody fragrance mixed with bitter-sweet tobacco… the chaos and disorder… the sweet tingling in his spine and his groin.
Yugo’s palm caressed his cheek. He felt Yugo smiling against his mouth but didn’t open his eyes. Warmth crawled under his skin, making the hair stand up all over his body. His labored breath disappeared in Yugo’s mouth. Ripples of sweet, painful spasms crept from his breastbone toward his shoulders and then down his spine, tugging him deeper into the kiss.
It was hot and his thoughts evaporated. Sweet arousal washed him in heat, bringing more and more blood to his lower parts.
The longer Yugo kissed him, the harder Kuon became. Despite their battle of wills, Kuon’s body couldn’t resist his touch, and most likely it was this honesty alone that had been stopping Yugo from tearing him apart all this time.
One finger turned to two, then to three. But when Yugo added his little finger too, Kuon sucked air in through his teeth. His head whipped to the side, breaking the kiss as he tried to relax, but the tearing pain in his strained insides didn’t let him. He felt his muscles cramp, and the pain worsened. The upcoming act daunted him, and he wasn’t able to hide it any longer.
“Does it hurt?” Yugo whispered, caressing his cheekbone with his fingers, but Kuon didn’t reply. He didn’t hear him. The chaos, storming in his heart, drowned the man’s words in the roaring of his blood, slamming against his ears.
The pain wasn’t as bad as that first rape, but his body still resisted any intrusion. Yugo’s words petrified him. He couldn’t go through this again. He couldn’t let this happen. His muscles clenched, seizing Yugo’s fingers and pain clouded his vision.
A primitive, animalistic terror of the unnatural act of pure violence forced his rational mind out of his head. His lungs burned; forgetting to breathe, he starved for oxygen.
