Page 25 of Love of the Egoist
“Now, be a good boy and I’ll make you feel good,” whispered the Black Duke, releasing Kuon’s softened cock from imprisonment.
Gripping Kuon’s shoulder with his left hand, Yugo kissed his way down his neck, nibbled on his collarbone, tracing the muscular body with his right hand. “You are getting aroused by your rapist’s touch, and you dare to call me a pervert?”
The bullets of Yugo’s words penetrated Kuon’s heart. His eyes flashed. He wanted to say something, but Yugo gagged him with another kiss. His palm landed on the sheet by Kuon’s right cheek as he moved between Kuon’s legs. Pushing the jeans with his foot, they came off Kuon’s ankles; the man spread Kuon’s legs apart with his sharp knees.
Kuon tensed. A small annoying tremor set in his limbs. His toes curled as he tried to control his muscles, but the tremor worsened. Yugo’s cold palm settled on his belly for a brief moment before moving lower, tangling in his coarse black pubic hair.
Every nerve in Kuon’s body stretched to its limits. Yugo’s hand, gliding over his painfully tender skin, filled Kuon’s head with a cacophony of shrill, panicking sounds of his thoughts.
A featherlike touch flitted down the curve of his sleeping cock, playing with his balls before settling at the thin skin between Kuon’s anus and balls, then inched lower.
The blood ebbed, leaving his face cold and colorless. His eyes burned. They fixed on some invisible point, and Kuon wasn’t able to close them. He wanted to swallow the lump in his throat, but his mouth was too dry, and his tongue stuck to his palate. The freezing wave of horrid memories washed over his body, suffocating him. The pain that tore his flesh to pieces that night, and the humiliation that crushed his heart revived every cell of his body.
“You don’t have to be scared. I won’t hurt you anymore,” Yugo’s voice came out muffled. Kuon could hear something in it, something somber and odd, but couldn’t figure out what exactly.
The words Yugo said didn’t help at all. The young man’s body didn’t relax but his gaze muddled. Kuon’s erection was long gone.
“Oh, fuck,” Yugo swore, panting. Searing Kuon’s skin with a long, dissatisfied breath, he moved to Kuon’s side, resting his back against pillows. He grabbed a cigarette from the nearby drawer and struck the lighter. The vanilla aroma clouded the room, drowning both men in silence.
The thin smoke flowing from the tip of the cigarette and the glinting ring on Yugo’s little finger helped Kuon calm down, providing a resting point for his eyes.
Watching the smoke wreathing in the air for a moment, Kuon’s focus moved lower, catching the flashy ring.
The oval cut stone was black and completely opaque. The polished edges flashed with the light’s reflection. The ring looked expensive in the heavy gold frame, as everything did that surrounded Yugo. The more he stared at it, the more he found the jewelry tasteless. He had never understood trinkets on men, especially this elaborate.
Yugo took a drag and Kuon flinched, falling out of his trance.
“If you are not going to do anything, cut me loose.” But the shaky words Kuon spoke were ignored.
“I’m not gonna fuck you today, you don’t have to worry, but I will put a finger inside. It’s not gonna hurt, I promise. In exchange, you have to satisfy me with your mouth.” Yugo crushed the cigarette in an ashtray, then locked his gaze with Kuon’s.
“Stop daydreaming. I’m not going to satisfy you, not with my hand, not with my mouth. It will not be mutual. Do whatever you like and get it over with.”
Yugo’s eyes tightened, his lips disappeared in a thin line, and his cheek flinched. He grabbed Kuon’s hair and yanked his head toward him. The chain tightened, clanged, and bit into Kuon’s wrists as their noses met.
“Exactly. I’m your owner and you will obey.” The tobacco smelling words inflamed Kuon’s face.
In an abrupt motion, Yugo got on his knees, undid his belt, hitched it out of the loops, and threw it on the floor, never releasing Kuon’s hair. His impatient hand almost tore a button off, then yanked a zipper down. Pulling his pants down his hips with a single hand, he took out his cock, brought it to Kuon’s face, and ran its head over his lips. The smell of body wash and a distinctive smell of male arousal hit Kuon’s nose. “Open up.”
Kuon tried to twist his head out of the grip; disgust spreading in his chest, watering his mouth. His fingers grasped the chain, searching for the strength in the solid cold metal, and his knees drew higher.
Yugo’s facedistorted in a grimace, his body tensed before he pressed Kuon’s face to his groin. “Open your fucking mouth!”
“Fuck you!” replied Kuon and closed his eyes expecting a blow any second. But it never came. Angry fingers released his hair, retreating as Yugo pulled away. He got to his feet and approached a small escritoire, picked up a cell phone and dialed a number. Leaning his elbow on dark carved wood, he waited for an answer.
“Anry? I want to have fun. Send me a sensible cameraman. Yeah, you bet. My face must be removed from the record afterward.” He laughed, and Kuon’s heart sank. Yugo hung up, a triumphant smile spreading all over his face.
A violent struggle took place inside Kuon’s heart. The thought of becoming a gay porn star crushed his heart, but he didn’t want to beg Yugo to give that idea up either. Both variants were equally disgusting to him.
He closed his eyes, buried his face in his lifted arm and a small piece of the pillow, but even its softness turned against him. The faint aroma of spicy cologne and sweet cigarettes only reminded him of reality.
Kuon’s limbs went limp as he opened his eyes, unable to contain his despair. For the first time in a long time, Kuon had no idea what to do. The whole world he’d built with hard work, everything he’d accomplished, went to hell because of this man.
“Please, don’t…” he managed to squeeze out despite the thickness in his throat. If he had raised his eyes at that moment, he probably would have seen triumph in Yugo’s eyes. But he didn’t. He kept watching the sunlight, bleeding into the gloomy room through the heavy curtains, where dust, spiraling in the air, sparkled with gold and green.
Shame and disgust flowed through him in suffocating waves.
“Don’t what?”
