Page 83 of Another Love, Another Time
“Nothing.” She sighs. “Keep going, Auggie.”
I respond, “I just want you to know that I wanted to be there for you at your dad’s funeral. I just didn’t know what to say to you, and then you walked out when you saw me. I didn’t think you would want to see me.”
“That never stopped you before.”
I flinch at her accusation. She’s right. I can’t say why I didn’t go after her. “You’re right. Normally, I would have gone after you. I could see you needed someone. I just wasn’t sure that was me.
“It had been a while since we had spoken, and the last time we did speak, your dad dragged me out. I didn’t want to cause a scene, just in case.” She doesn’t say anything else, so I continue. “After seeing you at the funeral, my mental health got bad again. Logan was mad at me because I didn’t talk to you at the funeral and because I brought Melissa.
“I know I should have listened to him. It wasn’t too long after we got back from the funeral that Logan transferred to another school, and I needed to find another roommate. Melissa happened to be looking for a roommate at the same time, so we decided to move in together as roommates. My parents had a sit-down-slash-intervention with me about doing better in school. If I wanted to continue going to school, I had better get my shit together. So, I did. I owed it to my parents. I owed it to myself.
“I just want you to know that I haven’t touched Melissa since. We are just friends. I’ve never seen her as anything more. I know she would like more, but I think about you every day.
“I made the biggest mistake at prom; I shouldn’t have touched her, but I was just a kid, a stupid kid who thought it was a harmless gesture. Please, please forgive me, River.”
She’s still across the room, leaning against the wall. Still keeping her distance. “So why are you still living with her. Why would you allow everyone to refer to her as your ‘girlfriend’?”
I intertwine my fingers on the back of my neck. “It started out as a joke by the guys. When I first started working here, the guys invited me to hang out. Melissa asked if she could tag along. I didn’t see the harm, so I said yes. A girl approached me. Melissa was… territorial. She scared the girl off. The guys gave me shit about it, but I was kind of okay with it. I wasn’t really interested in dating anyone anyway.
“I haven’t been interested in dating anyone in years, so I never stop them from saying Melissa is my girlfriend; she scares the ladies off. I only wanted to focus on my career. As far as her still living with me, I just wanted to finish school and get back to Hannibal to start my career. I was looking for a roommate for the house I had just bought when I moved back. Melissa was just moving back too and needed a place to live, so she moved into one of the spare bedrooms. We had already lived together, so I knew her quirks and bad habits.
“She helps pay half of the utilities and rent. Win-win. I just want you to know I have been clear with Melissa on where we stand.”
“And where is that?” she questions.
“Where Melissa stands? She’s my friend, and she will never be more.”
She snorts. “What was your plan if I came back? ‘Hey, River, I know you don’t like Melissa, but hey, we are roommates.’ How did you think that would go over?”
“To be honest, I had lost all hope that I’d ever see or hear from you again. At first, I thought you would forgive me. Your dad asked me to give you time. I mean, he knew you better than anyone. But when the weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years, and then, when your dad passed away, and we still didn’t talk, I just assumed that you had finally written me out of your life.
“I didn’t blame you. When I finally came to the realization that I had probably lost you for good, I did a lot of self-reflection and realized I had taken you for granted. But please, understand that I was an immature boy who took both your love and friendship for granted, thinking you would always be there because you always had been there.
“I want to save people, and I don’t like to see people hurt. But I also know that I don’t want to lose you again. It’s been so nice to reconnect with you since you came back. I’ve seen the changes in you. I just want to get to know this River and see where that goes.
“I still feel the connection between us. There are five years that we need to catch up on. I also want to apologize for kissing you earlier. I didn’t deserve that. I’m happy you’re back in my life. I feel like, well— You had told me that you weren’t really married, married, and I just got really happy. I just acted without thinking.”
She starts toward the table, sits down, and faces me. “Auggie, I have forgiven you.” I blink in surprise. “But it makes me sick, thinking of you and her together. I won’t pretend I understand, but like I said, I have tried to be with other people. My thoughts always come back to you. I’m sure some would call me stupid. I tried to move on, and it just didn’t happen.
“And there is no need to apologize about the kiss. If you remember, I kissed you back. But I agree, friendship is all I can offer you right now. I need to focus on my career, and there are things that I’m working on. Things… You know I don’t like Melissa. To be honest, I don’t trust her. I know you don’t want to completely remove her from your life, but just so you know, if we ever have a chance of ever being romantically involved, there is zero room for Melissa in our lives. I’m just putting that out there.”
“I know you don’t want her in your life, but she’s become a good friend,” I defend.
She shakes her head. “You still don’t see it.”
“See what?” I question her.
“One day, you will, and it will be like a lightbulb coming on,” she responds.
“You’re making no sense.” I’m confused as to what she’s referring to.
“I have a feeling that’s coming.” She looks out the window.
Chapter 26
River
“I love my mom, but I have to find my own place. She’s driving me crazy.”
