Page 25 of Another Love, Another Time
“Thanks for the confidence, Aug.” I’m hurt. Not that I’m ready for a boyfriend, but to hear him sound so unsure.
“River, that’s not what I mean. Gosh, I’m messing this up.”
I sit up. “I’ll let you off the hook. No, I don’t think this can mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend. This means we are the best of friends, including experiencing new things together, since we feel comfortable with one another.
I continue, “Right now, we have too much to lose. What if one of us does something to the other because we are stupid fifteen-year-olds, and we stop being friends? I mean, we live six hours away from one another. Most adults can’t handle a relationship like that, let alone two teenagers. I can’t lose you as my best friend, Auggie. I can’t. I don’t know what I would do.
“How many times have we heard our parents say how grateful they are for all the experiences they had when they were younger? They learned something different about themselves from each one of the relationships that they had. They all have said that they were idiots when they were younger. I love you, Auggie. You know that I never want to do anything to jeopardize that.” I pause. “Auggie, do you love me?” I question because I want to make sure we are on the same page.
“You know I love you, too, River. There’s no question.”
“Another question: do you love me more than a friend? Like you could see yourself marrying me some day?” I ask.
“I love you, Riv. I mean, I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life, but I know I always want to be part of yours. If that means marrying you, yes.”
“Okay, then. Let’s make a pact, because I never want to lose you.”
“You know that I don’t want to lose you, either.” He pauses. “What do you mean by a ‘pact’?”
“Well, nothing changes right now. We can continue to… you know…” I wiggle my eyebrows, “… explore. If you find a girl you are interested in, we’ll stop, but under no circumstances can you stop being my best friend. Got it? And then, I’ll do the same.”
He shakes his head in agreement.
“You learn how to be a good boyfriend because once we are both ready, we’re done, and we get married. You got it?”
He’s shaking his head again.
I grab his hand. “It’s not that I want to see you go out with other girls. I think it might kill me to actually see that, but Ithink it would kill me more if we got together now, not giving you a chance to be with someone else, and then you change your mind.” I give him a peck on the lips. “If you ever change your mind about the pact, and you meet a girl you like more than me, just tell me. No matter what, we are friends first, right?”
“Right. How will you know when we are ready?” he asks.
“I don’t really know. Maybe one day we will just know.” I shrug. “I don’t have all the answers. What I do know is that you are my best friend, the person I feel most comfortable around, that I really enjoyed everything that we did this weekend, and it’s going to really suck when I see you with your first girlfriend. Because I know you will. You already have girls chasing you now.”
“Don’t worry, River. I’m not really looking for a girlfriend right now. I don’t have a lot of time with all my sports and school, and I know that I really don’t want to see you with a boyfriend,” he assures me.
“Okay, so how do you want to seal the pact?” I question.
“How about a pinkie pact?” he suggests. “We can pinkie promise and seal it with a kiss. Sound good?”
“I like it. Let’s roll with it.”
“I want to say one more thing: when one of us knows for sure we are ready, we need to tell the other, and then we commit at the same time. Do you agree?”
I nod. He holds his pinkie out to me. I hook mine with his, and then we both lean in and seal it with a kiss. To be honest, I’m not sure if what we just swore was good or bad, but we will find out one day. At least I know in this moment that we are on the same page.
Chapter 8
River, Age 15
I cannot believe what I am seeing. My mom and dad finally let me create an account on Facebook. My first friend request goes to Auggie. His mom and dad let him have a Facebook account last year. A lot of the communication from his baseball team and the tournaments he goes to are communicated through Facebook.
I hop on to his news feed to be nosy, curious about what kinds of things he posts. I start at the top and scroll down. He’s tagged in a few of the team pictures. He’s shared a few memes and videos that are kind of funny. He wished his mom a happy birthday.
Auggie must have his profile public, because I am getting a view of everything. I keep scrolling until my eyes land on a picture of Auggie and a girl kissing. My heart drops to my stomach, and there is an ache in my chest. I recognize the girl immediately. It’s the girl he had to carry up from the beach last year when he left me in the water. Amber was her name, I think. That’s confirmed when I see who tagged him in the post.
Well, she got what she wanted. We spoke about girlfriends and boyfriends, but I didn’t count on it hurting this much. Seeing his lips on someone else’s makes me sick. The picture is like a bad car accident; I just can’t look away. He hasn’t had a lot of time to talk to me lately. I thought sports had been keeping him busy, but it looks like he has had other things to do. What if he starts to have no time for me? The ache in my chest grows. I can’t lose my best friend. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?”
I’ve kissed one boy other than Auggie, and afterwards, I felt guilty. Looking at this picture, it doesn’t look like he feels guilty. I know he’s kissed other girls, but this is the first time I’ve seen it. What if she doesn’t like him talking to me? I heard the things she said on the beach. I don’t think she would like to know that we talk and text daily.
