Page 106 of Another Love, Another Time
“What the hell, Auggie?” I feel sick and immediately throw up on her. I can’t believe I just lost my virginity to Melissa.
I look down at my dick and see she didn’t even use a condom. I start heaving again. I hear Melissa saying something, but it doesn’t register. All I can think is, “River can never find out about this.”
I reach up to wipe my mouth and can feel that my cheeks are wet. I’m crying. I look up to see Melissa in the corner, wiping the puke off herself with the blanket.
“Why would you do that, Melissa? I didn’t want to have sex with you. Oh, God! You can’t tell River about this.”
“Am I so repulsive that I make you throw up? Fuck, Auggie. You were the one who started it. You were grinding and feeling me up. Wow. Way to make a girl feel special.”
How did I fuck up this badly? “Melissa, I don’t even remember touching you. I was sleeping, and the next thing I remember…” I can’t even say it out loud. “No, I’m not repulsed by you.” I’m disgusted with myself, but I don’t voice that. “I thought you were River. It was supposed to be her,” I whisper.
She starts crying again, and I feel like shit. She just broke up with her boyfriend for cheating on her, and now, I’m making her feel like shit. I really don’t remember grinding on her.
“I’m sorry,” I continue. “I’m sure there is a guy out there for you, but I can’t be that guy. I thought you understood that. Please. You can’t tell anyone about this. Please.”
“You think I’d tell anyone that we slept together only to find out you thought I was some other girl? And as a bonus, you threw up on me. No thanks. Your secret is safe with me.” She’s still sobbing, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t comfort her. That’s what got me in trouble in the first place.
“Thanks. I really am sorry.”
“Don’t worry. Your precious River won’t find out. I’m sorry too. I thought you were into it. My mistake.” She sounds annoyed. I can’t blame her. I really don’t remember touching her. She brings me out of my thoughts by saying, “Please don’t let this change things between us. I’ll keep your secret. You don’t have to worry about me saying anything. You are one of the only people who care to look out for me. Who knows what would happen if you didn’t let me stay with you?”
“I won’t. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. If I was fully awake, I never would have done that. I hate to ask this, but you didn’t use a condom… I didn’t finish, but—”
She interrupts me. “You don’t have to worry. I get the shot monthly. My mom makes sure of it. She doesn’t want me to end up a teen mom.”
Thank God. I’m going to need to schedule an STD test to make sure I’m clean. I feel myself wanting to throw up again, but at the same time, I’m glad she won’t get pregnant.
I still feel bad. “I am really sorry. Nothing like that has ever happened before.”
“I get it. I’m going to head out. I wouldn’t want anyone to get any ideas.”
I nod. “You’re right. Let me look first and make sure the coast is clear.” I still feel horrible, but I didn’t want this. Even though it makes no sense, I don’t want to continue to hurt her feelings by asking more questions.
I unzip the tent and look both ways. I don’t see anyone, so I signal for her to get out. She straightens her clothes and takes off for Logan’s house to get her keys. Normally, I would walk her up, but I can’t do that right now.
When I zip the tent closed, I feel my stomach flip like I’m going to throw up again. I think I should just throw it in the fire. I don’t need any memories of this night.
~~
“That’s rape, Auggie,” River exclaims. “She fucking raped you!”
“She said I started it, though,” I answer uncertainly.
“When we were younger and slept in the same bed, not once did you ever start anything. I can guarantee you, she fucking did this. She planned it. She did this on purpose. She’s fucking sick.” I start to say something, but she interrupts me. “If you say anything in her defense, I will break your fucking nose.”
“Riv—”
“I know she did this. I can just feel it in my gut.” She’s pacing now. She stops and turns to me. “This does not excuse the fact that you lied to me about this, and you catered to her any time she needed you, even afterthis. But we will get to that in a little bit. I’m not letting you off the hook.”
“Do you think your own family could do something like that? I mean, we all grew up together. I own my mistake. I just don’t want to lose you.”
I’m not questioning her; I’m just throwing the question out there. I’m in disbelief, but the longer I sit and think about it, the more I realize something isn’t right.
I mean, I remember the smell of River’s perfume. Melissa and River don’t wear the same perfume, but I smelled it that night. I know I did. I was so drunk that I couldn’t remember anything except that smell, and I just took her at her word. I don’t have any memory of touching her. I wish I hadn't been drunk that night.
“Oh, she’s fully capable,” River says. “I know from experience.”
“A blue hair dye prank is hardly—”
