Page 104 of Another Love, Another Time
I head to my room, throw my bag on my bed, and take a deep breath. I hear the front door open and close and prepare to have my talkwith Auggie.
Chapter 34
The Past: Auggie 17
I take a deep breath and walk through the door. If I know River, she’s made a list of things she wants to talk about; however, there’s no way she’s had time to order her thoughts about the news Melissa just dropped. I have no clue how she’s going to react. I just hope she gives me a chance to explain. That news just threw her list out the window.
When thinking about our conversation tonight, I assumed we’d discuss whatever she wanted to, and then I would tell her about the news Melissa beat me to. Now, I’m sure that topic has shot up on the list of things she will want to discuss. I tried to text River earlier to let her know I was on my way. I wish she had texted me back to let me know Melissa was here. She should have heard it from me.
I thought it was strange when Melissa took off earlier, leaving the guys and me to deliver her shit to her parents. She must have overheard that I was coming over here to talk to River. God, I’ve been a fucking idiot. I wish I had seen through her earlier.
As I close the door, what I see breaks my heart. River’s in front of me, trying to be strong, but she’s silently crying. I’ve hurt her again. I know I should have told her as soon as it happened, but I was in denial. At the time, I couldn’t believe ithadhappened. I was devastated and disgusted with myself.
I knew I was being a coward when I didn’t tell her, but I wanted her first time to be with me. It was selfish to take her virginity, letting her believe that we lost it to each other, but I just couldn’tbear her losing it to anyone else. I know that makes me an asshole. I hope she can forgive me for this.
I walk toward her, wanting to comfort her, but I don’t think she wants that person to be me right now. She doesn’t talk, so I sit down in her recliner and start, “I just want to start by saying I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t mean anything now, but I came here planning to tell you.”
I stand back up when she rushes up to me and screams, “You planned on telling me now? What about before I gave my virginity to you? What about when I first moved here? I can’t believe you. All you do is hurt me, Auggie! Why do I fucking continue to let you hurt me? I love you, but I fucking hate you!”
She falls to her knees, and I try to go to her, but she pushes me off. I did this to her. I thought I was protecting her feelings, but I was really protecting myself.
“Why can’t I love anyone else? You don’t fucking deserve me!” she continues.
She’s right. I don’t deserve her. I have never deserved her. I’ve taken her for granted, and I’m afraid that I may have finally crossed the point of no return. I don’t know what to say other than, “You’re right.” She’s still crying. I’m not sure if she’s even listening. “I was a coward. I was selfish. I was so scared of losing you, and I didn’t want you to lose something so special to anyone else.”
“Don’t you think I should have been given that option? It was special to me. I waited for you! For you, Auggie!” She gets up and starts pushing my chest. “And you,” push, “gave,” push, “yours,” push, “to,” push, “fucking,” push, “Melissa!” She shoves me one more time and shrieks, “I hate you!”
I simply stand there, taking it. I knew it would go this way. I’m not sure if she will ever forgive me for this. I rub my hands down my face and realize I’m crying too. I’ve sure made a mess of things.
I calmly say, “I am truly sorry, River. I’ve never wanted to hurt you. Ask me anything you want. I promise this is the last thing I’ve kept from you. You know everything else.”
“Like I can believe you. You’ve lied or omitted the truth to me; I don’t know what I should believe. You said you only slept with her twice, but I can’t even believe that. All this time, you've made me look stupid in front of her." She grimaces.
“I know. I know there is nothing I can say to fix this. Still, you can ask me anything. I want to be able to explain. I promise I didn’t plan on touching Melissa. I don’t even know how it happened. One minute I was sleeping, and the next thing I know, I was having sex.”
She cocks her head. She’s stopped crying, and she’s wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her shirt. Her brows are furrowed. “I want the details on exactly what happened. Explain it to me.”
“Riv…”
“Don’t. You said I could ask anything. I want the fucking details. Don’t leave anything out.”
So, I begin to explain what happened that night.
Past Auggie 17
This weekend, we were all going camping on Logan’s property. I think he invited our whole class. Everyone is supposed to bring a tent and blankets. River was supposed to come up, but she had something come up last minute and couldn’t make it.
This is the first time any of the parents have let us do anything like this. Logan and I set up our tents earlier so we would have the best spots. We also figured we’d have to help some of the girls with their tents. I’m sure some of them have never slept in a tent.
“This will be interesting,” I think and chuckle to myself. All the parents know their kids will be drinking. They have been notified. Keys will be given to Uncle Chris. There are tons of coolers, all filled with drinks.
Uncle Chris has grilled some hot dogs, hamburgers, and cabbage. I helped Mom with some sides. As I’m thinking about food, I realize I'd better grab something to eat. Knowing my luck, all the good stuff will be gone if I wait.
I finish eating my food and notice a couple of girls from school trying to put up their tent. Most people brought smaller tents, but this looks more like a family tent, like they are glamping. They won’t be able to set this up by themselves.
“Hey. You all need help?” I ask.
They look up, relieved. “Yes, please. That would be great,” they respond.
