Page 72 of Another Love, Another Time
I’m so mad. Outside, I walk over to the cooler, grab a beer, pull out my phone, and shoot off a text to Logan.
Auggie: You’ve been talking to River the whole time?
I know I’m being irrational; I don’t expect to see a response from him. He knows I’m mad. He lied to me.
When River first left, I asked him repeatedly if she had reached out, and he always said no. I thought he was just as hurt as I was that she left and cut off all communication. Now, after all this time, I find out he’s always been able to reach her.
Logan: We’ll talk tomorrow.
I pull the tab of my beer can and down about half of it. I don’t want to get drunk tonight, but I also don’t not want to get drunk. I wasn’t planning on going home tonight, not after my earlier call. I don’t want to have to deal with that. I already told Mackey I would be staying in his guest bedroom.
I look up and see River walk out of the house. She’s only gotten prettier in the years she’s been gone. She glances my way as a gesture to see if I’m okay. I hate that I just blew up at her.
It wasn’t her fault. She’s right; she couldn’t trust me. I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t hurt. I hurt her badly. The past week has been nice, just being able to hang out with her. We still haven’t talked about what happened, but I know we will eventually. She said she wasn’t running anymore. I’m happy about that. I need to be able to explain my side. I never wanted to see her hurt.
I see her coming my way, beer in hand.
“I see you’re still drinking Natty Lite,” I start casually.
“I already told Mackey not to make fun of my beer choice. Now you too.” She laughs, but it’s strained. I shouldn’t have blown up like that at her.
I grab her free hand, intertwine our pinkies, and squeeze. It’s a gesture I’ve always done when I’m apologizing. “I’m sorry I blew up at you earlier. I guess I was mad that for all these years, Logan was able to talk to you, and I wasn’t. Plus, Logan told me that he didn’t talk to you.”
“In his defense, it wasn’t right away. It was around the same time my dad passed away.”
I look down, pissed that I had let another chance to talk to her slip through my hands.
“Don’t feel bad, Aug. It was a rough time for me. I needed a friend, and you were with Melissa.”
“I wasn’t with Melissa,” I argue.
She shakes her head. “That’s not what it looked like to me.”
“I wasn’t. She rode down with us for the funeral. She was dev.”, I start to say, but she interrupts me.
“It doesn’t matter, Auggie. I was just trying to say that I needed someone. You seemed occupied. Logan was there.” She shrugs.
“So, you needed me, and once again I wasn’t there for you.” I’m disgusted with myself.
“Don’t. It’s okay. It was okay. I got through it. It’s one of those things that has made me stronger. “Don’t be mad at Logan. I don’t think he did it to piss you off,” she says in his defense.
“You’re right.” Then, we’re silent for a minute.
“You think your mom will make some of that corn dip for tomorrow?” She changes topics to break the tension.
“She usually does, but I’ll text her just in case she wasn’t planning on it.”
Mackey comes up behind her as I pull out my phone to text my mom. “Hey, Baxter. You want to play a game of cornhole?”
She gives me one more good look before she approaches the cornhole boards. Mackey turns to me and asks, “You decide what you’re going to do yet?”
“No. We still need to talk. We both need to say our piece. And anyways, she’s married, Mackey. I heard her talk to her husband. You can tell they care for each other.”
“Did you just hear yourself? You said ‘care.’”
“What are you saying?”
“You didn’t say ‘love.’”
