Page 66 of Another Love, Another Time
“Do you still love her? If you could have a romantic relationship, would you?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. I don’t have to think about it. I’ve always wanted River.
“Then what the hell are you doing with your psycho girlfriend?”
“To be honest, it was just easier to go with it. I really didn’t have the energy to fight her anymore, so I decided to go with it. River wasn’t here, so why not? A guy has needs. Am I right?”
He shakes his head and lifts his bottle to his lips. “Did you ever think she was testing you?”
“Who? River? Testing me for what?”
“You said she wanted you to see other people to make sure she was who you wanted to be with.”
“Yeah, I did that. I dated other people, and none of them lasted long. I always compared them to her.”
“Man, you can’t be that dense.” He sets his bottle down so roughly that some splashes out of the top. “Girls are not like guys. Guys are direct about what they want. Girls need you to figure it out on your own.”
“What are you trying to say? I’m so confused.” I take another drink of my beer.
“She didn’t really want you to go date other people.”
I just blink at him in confusion. “Yes, she did. She told me to.”
“No, she wanted you to choose her. She gave you the option, and you chose other people. She needed to know that she was your first choice.” He keeps going, “How many people did she date?” He briefly pauses, then continues, “It probably was less than a handful. If I had to bet, it was only one.”
I think back to all the people she dated, and he’s right; she only dated the one. He must sense he’s right. “And,” he holds up his finger, “I bet it was after you did something to either hurt her or to piss her off.”
I think back again, and he’s right. All along, she wanted me to choose her. She showed me that she chose me each time. Right now, I want to go back and kick my younger self in the face.
“It’s too late now,” I mutter. “She’s married. Right now, all I want is my best friend back.”
“She still loves you.”
“How can you tell?”
“I just can. Did you see the way she looked at you?” He shrugs like that comment doesn’t light a spark of hope.
“If she did, why’d she marry another man?”
“Did you ask her?”
“Not yet. She said we’d talk later. I think we’re going to have a lot to talk about.”
“Well, you won’t know if you don’t ask.” He sets his empty beer bottle down. “I’m heading home. I have an early morning.” He rises and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Good luck, my friend.”
“I’ll need all the luck I can get,” I think.
Chapter 19
River
1 week later
I’ve been Auggie’s partner for about a week. He’s changed. I can tell he doesn’t want to make me mad. I can tell he’s walking on eggshells around me. I don’t want that. If we are going to be partners, we have to trust one another to tell each other how it is. I’m half tempted to push his buttons to see how far I can push him. I should, but I won’t. I asked him to keep it professional at work, and he has held up his end of the request.
Auggie and I are currently driving to follow up on a lead to one of our cases. I’ve gotten used to the comfortable silence. I’m grateful that he’s giving me space and not forcing the conversation he knows I’m not ready for. If I’m honest, I don’t think he will be ready for it either. I want to lie, to say that I can’t stand his presence, but it feels nice to hang out with him, even if it’s only in a professional manner. I feel my walls slowly coming down around him, which both excites me and scares me. I’ve only let one other person in since Auggie, and that’s my husband.
I look over at Auggie, and this scene reminds me of when we were younger, right after he got his license, when he drove me around in his truck.
