Page 111 of Another Love, Another Time
“I’m not sure if anyone noticed, but I was messed up. When Melissa gave me the signal, I almost threw up, but I followed her anyway. And I know this next part is going to sound like a copout, but I don’t remember anything from the time you turned around and recognized me until I got in my car. I had blacked out. I almost ended up ra—forcing myself on you.
“I broke down in my car. I couldn’t believe how my life had turned out, what I was willing to do for drugs. I thought about just turning myself in, but I was too much of a coward to do that. I figured you would say something since you knew who I was. So, I just waited and waited, and when no one came to find me, I found a hotel for the night. My parents didn’t expect to see me at home that night, thinking I was going to be with my date.
“When I sobered up, I thought about how I got there. I knew I needed to tell my parents about my drug problem. I made the decision right there not to touch drugs anymore. I knew I needed help. The next morning, after I had cleaned myself up, I went home and explained to my parents that I needed help.
“They wondered what had happened to my face. I didn’t tell them about you. I just told them it had to do with the drugs. They immediately pulled me out of school. I got my diploma early, and they put me in a rehab center until training camp started at my college at the end of summer. I’ve spent every day looking over my shoulder while also trying to be a better person. While at rehab, I spoke with the therapist at the facility. We discussed everything that happened. I still talk to her at least once a week, and we manage my addiction and my stress levels.”
“I followed you this morning,” I blurt out.
“I know. Chip told me.” He looks down at his hands.
“So, is volunteering a way you try to be a better person?”
“At first, no. I just knew I needed to do something. Like I said, I was a coward. I’m still a coward, but I just wanted to understand a little bit about what you might be going through. I wanted to do something that could help someone else. The kids like me, and they help me too.” The waitress interrupts and brings out our food. I’m not really hungry, but I pick at my food.
He clears his throat. “Again, I’m not sure what you want. I think you wanted to know what happened, and you wanted answers. What do you want to happen next? Do you want me to turn myself in?”
My mind is still reeling from everything he’s just told me. I should want him in jail, especially after what he did to me, what he almost did to me. Is he a bad person, or did he do a bad thing? If I thought he was a bad person, I would definitely turn him in, but I think he just did a bad thing. He seems like he’s remorseful, and he’s turned his life around.
I look up at him. “Right now, no. But I will be watching you. This is not me blackmailing you. This is me saying I’m giving you a chance, and if I see you fuck it up, I will make sure they get you this time. Do you understand?”
He swallows. “Yes, I understand.” He pauses, and I know whatever he’s about to say is hard for him. “I know this might be a lot to ask, but I’m going to ask it anyway.” I nod for him to go on. “Is there any way that you would ever be able to forgive me?”
I can’t believe he’s even asking. He was manipulated into doing what he did. Again, I know he is the one who attacked me, but I truly believe he would never have done it otherwise.
“I don’t know if I can,” I say. “You changed the trajectory of my life. You changed me, made me into a person I don’t even recognize some days. I can tell you are remorseful, and thethings you are doing prove to me you are trying. I just don’t know if I can answer that question right now.”
“That’s fair. I know it’s a lot to ask. As I said before, I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am.”
I nod. Then, I grab a pen from my bag, write my email address on the napkin, and slide it over to him.
“Send everything you have to this email address.” I throw a twenty down for my food. He folds the napkin up and puts it in his wallet. When I stand up, he stands up with me.
I have one more question for him. “When’s the last time you spoke with Melissa?” I need to make sure he’s no longer in contact with her.
“It was the day after prom. I had to go to Walmart to grab some things for rehab. My parents found a place, but we had to leave the next day. I tried to turn the other way, but she cornered me. She didn’t get a chance to say anything because I told her if she was going to turn me in, just do it. I didn’t care what happened, and I walked off. She didn’t get a chance to say anything else. I haven’t seen her since. My parents come up to see me. I haven’t been back since. I hope I never have to see that girl again.”
I sigh and pinch the corner of my lips. “This weekend did not turn out like I expected. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I would say I’m sorry about your face, but I’m not. You deserved it.”
He shrugs. “I do deserve it.”
“I hope you continue to try to be a better person. I’ll look for your email today.” I turn to walk away, but he stops me when he says, “What are you going to do now?”
“Now, I’m not sure. I have to go see my parents. I’m not going to let Melissa get away with this.”
“You will have everything you need when I send you the files,” he tells me.
“Thanks,” I say, and then I walk away.
~~
Present: River
As I finish my story, Auggie jumps up. “So, JD Moore, Melissa’s date, was the person who attacked you? Motherfucker!” he roars. “That bitch! What the fuck? She’s a fucking snake. She needs to be behind bars.” He runs into the bathroom again and throws up.
I wait until he’s finished and say, "I have proof to put Melissa behind bars, but turning it in and getting her in trouble means dragging him into this. I don't want him to get into trouble. He has agreed that if I ever change my mind, he will cooperate with it. I just can't, though."
He shakes his head.“How can someone we know, someone we grew up with, be so evil? I never saw it. You tried to tell me, and I just couldn’t see past it. She’s out of my life. I’ll never talk to her again. I tried to be there for her, and fuck!” He interlaces his fingers behind his head. “River, can you forgive me?”
