Page 18 of Fixate
It’s only after I made the suggestive remark that I realized how rude it might have been. He’d just lost his partner. Even though they weren’t intimate, it couldn’t be good to be reminded of other happy couples.
Rather than calling me out, he shrugged. “If I had someone to spend my time with that way, then I might also still be in bed.”
My cock twitched at the way his voice dipped low. It stroked over me, causing a confusing mix of feelings.
I was saddened for him.
But I was also curious.
And fuck, I was also a bit jealous at the thought of him with anyone else.
Why in the world did that bother me? I was never bothered by his relationship with his wife. If I had been, it would have been obvious in the years I’d known him.
“Do you want to drive, or should we call a car?”
His question tore me from the internal debate. I shook my head before answering.
“I can drive. I’d rather not draw any outside attention to the mess around here. Most of it is cleaned up, but still.”
He tilted his head. “Good choice.”
A shiver worked its way through my body at his words. They were far too close to a certain other phrase I secretly loved. It would only make the confusing turn of events regarding my libido if I went down that path.
We took off for the closest breakfast place we could find. It was a small diner about two miles from the compound.
The waitress was shocked by the amount of food we ordered, though when we explained it was to go and tipped her in advance, she rushed away to speak with the cooks.
Left alone with Pharrell, I fought with myself over what to say to push away the awkward silence. We were seated next to each other at the bar top section of the diner. My body was close enough to feel the heat rolling off his.
“How much longer do you think you’ll stay in town?”
He turned in his chair to face me. The move put his spread legs open in my direction. It took everything in me not to look him up and down.
What the fuck was happening to me? I had never had this reaction to another man. Hell, I’d lived with Dante for years. He was an openly gay man. Though, I did know he was in love with someone else even if we never talked about it.
Still, I couldn’t make sense of why Pharrell had this impact on me.
“I’m unsure. Taking this much time away is already an issue, though with Stasia gone, I will likely not have as much trouble as I have been. Her family will be another thing to sort out, unfortunately.”
There was meaning to his words. A meaning that made me sit up a little straighter.
“Wait. Was she doing other shit too? Like in your own organization?”
He nodded, his gaze turning fierce. “I suspect so. Most of what I need to investigate will need to be done in person. I have a feeling there will be a lot of my men who need to be removed from their positions.”
Thankfully, there aren’t a lot of people in this place to hear our conversation. It wouldn’t take much to put two and two together, even though our language is generic.
“That’s a big task to take on. Do you have anyone you trust to help you?”
It’s a question I had no business asking. What could I do to change his answer? It wasn’t like I had contacts in his city. And I sure as hell couldn’t leave to go help him.
Pharrell tapped his finger on the counter. My eyes flew to the movement, taking a moment to indulge on watching the inane gesture.
“An excellent question indeed. I’m not sure as of yet. There will be several big changes to implement once I return home. As of now, the men who came with me are the only ones who know Stasia’s disloyalty.”
I’ve noticed he’s refrained from calling her his wife. Not that he really needs to since she’s dead and all. Either way, it brought me a unique sensation to know he wasn’t attached to her anymore.
“Order for Ricardo.” The waitress appeared before we could go any deeper.
