Page 15 of Fixate
I hummed as if to agree. “You lived here once, correct?”
His eyes met mine. “I did. Romano felt it was important for me to be ingrained in everything from top to bottom.”
“Is that how you wound up with Dante? Because you two were close?”
Ricardo laughed harshly at my words. “No, we weren’t. He and Preacher were connected at the hip. They didn’t need anyone else around, nor did they trust them. I watched them like the outsider I was. And sometimes still am.”
I tilted my head. “You don’t appear to be an outsider anymore. Not unless you’re looking for an invitation to their bedroom.”
He spluttered out, “Not a chance.”
Curious.
“I didn’t peg you as homophobic.”
“I’m not.”
“Then what’s with that reaction? You seem pretty shocked at what I said. It would be what anyone would guess given your words and facial expressions. You seemed almost jealous of the pair.”
His sigh was loud in the quiet of the room.
“Maybe I was,” he started. “It was hard being around them when we were all younger. I just wanted to have time to be a kid, you know. To not be elbow deep in grown folk business or being sworn into the mafia. I thought they had the chance to be more their age than I did.”
“But they didn’t.”
We both knew they hadn’t. Ricardo’s hurt over the past was based on his beliefs, not what actually happened. He would need to get over it to properly fall under Dante’s rule. I had a feeling Preacher would be right by his side the entire way, and Ricardo had to accept it.
That or he’d need to leave to find somewhere else if Dante let him. I imagined the younger Romano would be more lenient than his father in some ways.
“It doesn’t matter now. They’re happy. I’m happy. All good.”
He was lying again. I could hear it plain as day.
“You’re not though.”
“Sure I am. I’m doing fine.” He sipped at his drink, his gaze leaving mine as he went about looking around the room again. For someone who hated the space, he sure stared at it a lot.
Or it could have been him not wanting to reveal anything more to me. He’d already said a lot I’m sure he never meant to.
We sat silently for a while. It was nice to have someone around, even though I hadn’t thought I would want to.
Ricardo didn’t offer me any pity, nor did he judge my reaction to Stasia’s death. He simply guided me from the room earlier. And now he was here to offer me silent company while we drank.
When I finished the second glass, I waved away his offer for more. “Too much and I’ll start taking my clothes off,” I teased.
His eyes went wide. “Because it gets too hot or something? You could take your jacket off now, man. I won’t judge you if you’re not perfectly put together.”
“I meant more in the ‘nude because I’m horny’ kind of situation. It’s best I stop before things make you uncomfortable.”
Ricardo nodded, then scooped up my empty glass and the bottle he’d brought. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair then. Hope you have a good night.”
I followed him to the door, something inside me hesitant to let him go. It was an odd sensation given we weren’t close.
Yes, I’d been attracted to the man for far too long, but that couldn’t go anywhere. It was a secret I’d kept buried as to not let anyone pick up on my interest. His heterosexuality was written all over his expression anytime being gay or having a partner came up. I’d watched his reactions enough to notice.
That didn’t stop me from pulling him into an awkward hug at the door before he left. “Thank you,” I whispered against his ear. Then I pressed a soft kiss to the side of his head and let him go.
He was shell-shocked enough to squeak before he turned and sped away to his room. I didn’t stand there to watch him. I was already feeling the effects of the drink in my system.
