Page 33 of Fixate
To top it all off, he didn’t want to let go of me. I’d seen the hesitant look in his eyes. I’d felt the way his body had gone taut as he went to answer me but couldn’t. Others would have thought he was coming out of a lusty haze and having regrets.
But I knew better.
His gaze was that of wonder and hope. He wanted to keep going. Answering me meant he couldn’t.
So, I’d given him an out. I’d told him he could keep my cock in his mouth while we napped. He’d passed out damn near right away.
I couldn’t though. Not when the man I’d had far too many fantasies about was here with me. Not when I needed to take in every piece of him, to commit it all to memory, so I’d have it after he left.
Because I had no doubt he would leave.
Whether it be after his nap when he sent me to my own room or later when he left after deciding I had myself put back together enough to lead. He was not someone who was meant to stick around in my life.
No matter how much I’d have liked it, I understood the score.
Eventually, I did pass out, one hand behind my head and the other gently resting against Ricardo’s head. It was a move to soothe, as well as to let me know when he decided to pull away from me.
I didn’t feel him trying to escape though. There was no indication he’d left at all when I awoke. In fact, he was still asleep as ever, though his mouth had continued to suckle my cock.
As expected, I was hardening again. I wondered how long it was going to take him to realize what he’d done. Part of me knew better than to expect him to want to give me head again. If anything, he’d wake up and run for the hills at what he’d done.
I knew how straight men were. Some could experiment fine, though they’d never claim to be bi or gay. It was just a ‘thing guys did’ they’d say to justify it to themselves.
Others would experiment once and only once, usually because they’d freak out the second they came to. I feared Ricardo would be in the latter group.
I waited for him to wake up as I willed my body to cool off. It was fucking impossible with how gorgeous he looked, lips wide and puffy, as they wrapped around my tip. He wasn’t even that far down anymore, yet I felt like he’d worked me over and deep throated me with how greatly I was affected.
His eyes slowly opened half an hour after I woke up. He blinked slowly, then froze. I watched as he became aware of what position he was still in.
Surprisingly, he didn’t immediately jump into action. Instead, he swirled his tongue around the crown of my cock experimentally. Almost like he was checking to see if this was still real.
I blew out a deep breath, which caught his attention. “Hello, mon chou. Did you sleep well?”
In an unhurried way, he pulled his mouth away from my now fully erect cock. He kept his head on my thigh as he worked his (probably stiff) jaw.
“It was really good. I haven’t slept like that in ages.” He threw a small grin my way. It was very shy compared to the man I normally interacted with.
“I’m glad. I rested well too. Do you have any questions for me? I’m happy to answer if your curiosity isn’t sated.”
Was it dumb to bring up the obvious? Probably so. I could have pretended nothing was amiss and we’d avoid the topic of what happened between us forever.
Except that wasn’t what I wanted.
Even if Ricardo didn’t want to be with me, I needed to ensure he didn’t feel guilt or shame for our time together. He needed to know there was nothing wrong with wanting another man. Our line of work was full of homophobic bastards spouting off at the mouth to cover their own issues. If he’d heard half the shit I had, he was likely waging a war with himself internally over what was right and what we’d done.
Instead of answering me, his gaze went back to my cock. He stared at it with hunger.
“Tell me what you want, mon chou,” I rasped, too overpowered by the look he wore to mask my own feelings.
He rose from his position on my leg. I wanted to cry out at the separation. Instead, I waited. He knew what he wanted. Or at least, he had some idea. I needed to be able to reassure him that it was ok.
I’d take care of him. Just the way a Daddy would.
Fuck. No.
I had to push those feelings away. Getting to have him this way was one thing. Adding a kink dynamic to it was far too hopeful wishing.
As I watched, Ricardo pushed my legs a little closer, then straddled them. He’d lost his boxers at some point during our nap it seemed, which left him bare against me.
