Page 27 of Fixate
The man in front of me was very, very real.
“You’re an idiot for leaving. There’s nothing for you to do here. I’ve got it under control.”
A lie. I did not have anything under control.
I needed his help. There was no way to get out of the shit I’d fallen under without having someone to help take on the burdens with me. And while I could have asked any of the three men I trusted to do so, it felt wrong to take them away from what they excelled at to throw them in the fire Stasia left behind.
My men needed to stay where they were. Each of them kept the rest of the men in line while I tried to put out the main blaze that had become my life.
Ricardo stepped into my space again, his gaze challenging. “I might be an idiot at that, but I’m fucking smart in other ways. Smart, as in I can see you haven’t been eating properly or sleeping well. Smart, as in I knew Stasia’s family would be a bigger issue than anyone thought and that you need a new peace agreement with them before things go bloody. Smart, as in I’m exactly what you need whether you want to admit it or not.”
“Fuck!” I bellowed as I turned from him to catch my breath.
He was right. And far too intuitive for his own good.
The sound of my heavy breathing echoed around the room. Ricardo was a good fit to help me with the business. It was just this fucking obsession I had with him that would be problematic.
Stasia and I had always been friends and partners. She held her own, and I was never one to be jealous or emotional when it came to our relationship.
But I already knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back with Ricardo — though we didn’t even have a relationship to speak of. If one of my men, or anyone else really, decided to test him, I’d likely put a bullet through their skull without thought. I wouldn’t stand for him being disrespected or questioned like the men sometimes were with new people.
Worse, I had no clue how the men would handle me openly showing affection to another man. They all knew I was gay. I’d never hidden the fact. But out of respect for Stasia, I’d never flaunted any hookups or short-lived relationships. They’d never even seen me hold hands with another man.
I knew if Ricardo stuck around, that could possibly change. Even if he didn’t want anything to do with me, it wouldn’t take long for the men who’d been with me the longest to notice my obsession.
“Fine,” I said once I’d run through all the worst what-if scenarios in my head. I turned to face him once more. “You can stay. I’ll have a room made up for you and we’ll go over business stuff after you’ve rested.”
He shook his head. “Slept on the plane. I’m good to go. Though you might need a nap.”
The way his gaze raked over my face made me want to squirm. I held steady because he wouldn’t get to see the cracks in my armor this early.
I knew what he saw anyway. The bags under my eyes. The way my skin had become sickly pale. My clothes, which were now a size too big on my slender frame.
It was rather obvious how much I’d been struggling.
“I don’t have time for a nap,” I told him.
“What makes you think I’d have time for one then? You need sleep more than I do.”
I growled in frustration. “Are you always this fucking stubborn?”
“Yep. It’s one of my best features.”
Wrong.
His best feature was his undoubtedly his ass. Or maybe his hands.
Damn, I loved those hands. Had dreamed of them wrapped around my cock, clawing at my back, and sifting through my hair while I sucked around his length.
I’d had my fair share of filthy thoughts about this man. He knew not one of them.
Sighing, I thought of a solution to get this over with. The food was long cold, which was fine given I had little appetite. We had to find a solution to my lack of sleep and Ricardo’s petulance.
“What about this? We can both take a short nap. When we wake up, we can eat and go over business.”
Ricardo scrunched his face. “I’m guessing there’s no set time for stuff here. You know, cause the city never sleeps.”
I laughed at the silly phrase. “You’re right. We function at whatever time we’re awake. Whether the sun is up or not there is business to be handled. I could give you a tour of everything after you’ve rested. Maybe introduce you to the most important men beneath me.”
