Page 69 of Lycan King's Claim
We all hold our breath as the doctor catches our daughter.
A piercing wail splits the air and I suck in a breath. Our daughter.
The doctor passes the baby to me. I clutch her tiny body close, overwhelmed. Sienna has given me this perfect gift, though it caused her such pain.
I kiss Sienna's forehead, damp with sweat. “Thank you,” I whisper. Inside, my shattered heart stirs to life once more.
I cradle our newborn daughter in my arms, still in awe of this tiny being Sienna has brought into the world. She is so small, so fragile. Her little face is scrunched and red from crying, her tiny hands balled into fists. As I look at her, I feel a swell of emotion rise within me—love, protectiveness, joy.
Sienna lies back against the pillows, exhausted, yet her eyes haven't closed like I expected. I lean down to kiss her forehead again. “You did so well, my love,” I murmur. Though she cannot respond, I know she hears me, I know she does.
The doctor finishes tending to Sienna. My Mother comes to peer over my shoulder at the baby. “Oh, she's beautiful,” Mother says softly.
“What will you name her?”
I glance at Sienna. Though she cannot speak, I know she would hate it, but still, I like the name. “Anna,” I tell my mother.
“Anna Rose,” I say firmly. “Her name is Anna Rose.”
37
The pain was unbearable, like my insides were being ripped apart. I wanted to scream, but no sound came out, just pathetic whimpers between heaving breaths. The doctor kept barking orders while Adina mopped my sweaty brow, murmuring words of encouragement that barely registered through the agony. I think she mostly spoke for Xandros' sake, neither her nor the Doctor seem to believe I could truly feel pain. She had stood up for Xandros against the doctor.
When the urge to push came, it was involuntary, my body taking over despite my exhaustion. I thought of the life I carried inside me, innocent and blameless, and somehow found the strength to keep going. With a final silent cry, my baby entered the world.
Silence, then the sharp wail of newborn lungs.
Relief washed over me, then fear. My maternal instinct begged to hold my child, but in this state I knew I never would unless ordered to, but could I trust these autopilot arms to hold her? Would Xandros? So, I could only watch as the doctor let Xandros cut the cord before he swaddled and handed her to Xandros.
Suddenly, the hollow feeling inside me grew vaster as I waited staring at the top of the docs head, listening to the surrounding noises. I waited patiently for her to come into view just so I could catch a glimpse of her. Never have I ever been so desperate for a glimpse, just a glimpse of her and I could die right now happy that I left something behind in this world for Xandros, to make up for my mistakes.
Yet as time seemed to slow I worried this was it, this would be the time he gives up, puts me out of my misery as they keep saying. Get rid of me because the one purpose of keeping me alive is now born. She was swaddled and wrapped nice and warm in her father's arms. Please just let me see her, just once, before you all kill me. Bring her close enough that I can smell her little head, see what we created.
“Oh, she's beautiful,” Adina says softly. “What will you name her?”
“Anna,” Xandros tells her, and my heart swells. “Anna Rose,” he adds. My nickname, he is naming her after me? Hearing the name he chose makes my eyes burn, and I desperately wanted to see our little girl.
It felt like forever before the doctor started packing up his things and finally left with Adina. When we were finally alone, Xandros approaches cradling our daughter. Her fuzzy head peeking out from the blanket, eyes squeezed shut and lips pursed. So tiny. So perfect.
He lays her on my chest and my breath catches. I ache to run my fingers over her petal-soft skin, to inhale her sweet baby scent. All I can do is weep silent tears at her beauty.
Xandros gazes at us tenderly. “Our little Anna Rose. She's the image of you, my love.” Xandros whispers.
Hearing him call her the nickname he'd given me softens something inside me. I am glad to have given him this gift, something to cherish, even if I cannot share in it fully.
However, when her fussing increases, Xandros lifts her away. My arms ache to hold her. He smiles down at me, a genuine smile I'd never seen from him before.
Before he can rise to do whatever he is intending to do, Queen Adina sweeps into the room with a bottle in hand.
“I've brought a bottle for the baby.” However, hearing those words makes my heart shatter, I'm completely useless, something that should be natural and a bonding experience I will never get to experience. It tugs painfully in my gut knowing I will never be a mother, just another burden, another person for him to look after if he chooses to keep me around.
"Thank you," he tells his mother, taking the bottle and is about to feed her when his eyes meet mine. I wonder briefly what he is thinking.
Xandros looks over at me nervously, when suddenly his face twists, making me wonder what he reads on my motionless face.
Xandros' eyes flash with anger. “Get out.”
Adina draws herself up from the armchair. “Would you like me to feed her, dear?”
