Page 21 of Lycan King's Claim
Yesterday, I learned of the wedding, hastily pushed forward once again, this time by Xandros himself after he learned of me still training with Queen Adina, he said he won't let me risk my life. Yet he is happy to gamble with it, gamble with my bond that grows weaker each day.
A bitter laugh escapes my lips as I hear the news. What hope is there for me in a fight for his hand? I am but a mere pawn in this game of power and desire.
Xandros' mother approaches me, her eyes filled with a glimmer of determination.
"You never showed up this morning for training," she tells me, finding me dusting.
"Xandros doesn't want me, he certainly doesn't want me fighting for him," I remind her. Adina shakes her head. "You can beat her. Fight for my son's hand," she implores, her voice laced with urgency. I scoff, the bitter taste of words coating my tongue. "And what good would that do? I won't win, and we both know it," I retort, my voice laced with resignation.
But Adina, undeterred by my lack of faith, holds my gaze steadily. "You underestimate yourself, Sienna. There is a reason Carina watches you train but never participates, she knows you'll beat her," she vows, her words infused with unwavering resolve.
However, I laugh and shake my head. "She is a vampire, I was human, and now I am this" I deadpan, I can't even shift because of my bond.
The bitterness within me intensifies, fueled by a sense of futility. "Training me is pointless. I am nothing but a vessel for your son to torment. No amount of training can change that," I confess, my voice tinged with hatred.
Adina's eyes soften. "He'll come to his senses, you'll see," she assures me, her words stirring a fragile spark within me.
As the weight of her words settles upon me, I am torn between the depths of my anguish and the flickering ember of possibility. The darkness threatens to consume me whole, but a tiny voice within urges me to hold on. But that's all I've done, and now I don't even know what I am holding on to anymore. More pain? More rejection?
Adina shakes her head. "You're both as stubborn as each other," she mutters, stalking off and leaving me in the corridor. I turn back to the painting I was dusting, shaking off her words.
9
Darkness swirls within me, a blizzard of conflicting emotions and torment, as I sit in my office. The weight of my actions presses heavily on my shoulders, threatening to consume me whole. I find myself caught in a cycle of self-destruction, seeking comfort in the numbing embrace of alcohol and burying the pain in my work.
What do I do if the blood test results come back as clear, that would mean it's the bond, her rejecting mine. I could lose her, but at the same time, how would I even begin to fix it? Broken mate bonds have never been fixed, they wither away and die from everything I've read about them. Or they go crazy without them.
My mother sits at the end of my desk, I had been drowning her out, stuck in my thoughts while she happily berates me. She had come in an hour ago and confronted me with the harsh reality of my choices, it was almost like she couldn't wait to tell me I should have listened to her, she's been on my case for days.
Her eyes, once filled with warmth, now hold a glint of desperation. I shake my head having heard little to nothing of what she said, but her tone alone was enough to get the message through. I grab my glass, planning to head to the library away from her and her never-ending lectures when she blocks me.
"Xandros, you can't keep drowning yourself in work and drowning your sorrows in that damn bottle," she pleads, her voice tinged with worry. Yet she doesn't understand the pain of feeling her with him. The sight of them together torments me, every time I look at her, I see him with his hands on her.
Anger boils within me, ready to erupt at any moment. How dare she lecture me about my choices? How can she understand the turmoil that engulfs me? "What would you have me do, Mother? Should I just forgive her after what she did, what would stop her from doing it again, or running off again with someone else. Is that what you want?" I snap, my voice laced with bitterness. My mother takes a step back from me.
Javier steps forward, a barrier between the brewing storm and my mother. His voice is calm yet firm. "Xandros, calm yourself. This is not the way," he warns, his words penetrating the haze of my anger. Only then do I realize I had raised my hand to her. For a brief moment, I see the shadow of my own reflection in his eyes, a mirror to the monster I have become, the madness, the crazed savage I am beneath the mask.
Realization dawns upon me, a cold hand gripping my heart. I almost struck my own mother, the woman who gave me life. Guilt floods my veins, mingling with the anger and pain that already courses through me. I am on the precipice of losing everything, consumed by my own darkness and the madness that comes with it.
"Mom, shit... I'm sorry," I tell her, reaching out to touch her arm.
My mother, hurt by my actions, turns her back on me, refusing to accept my feeble attempt at an apology. It seems I am constantly apologizing these days. The weight of her disappointment settles upon me, suffocating the last remnants of my self-assurance. I am a king, yet my kingdom crumbles beneath the weight of my own failures.
Desperation engulfs me as I storm out of the room, seeking peace in the empty corridors of the castle. Shadows dance around me, mirroring the turmoil within my own soul. The walls seem to close in, suffocating me with their silent judgment.
And there, in the depths of my despair, I encounter Sienna. Her presence is a double-edged sword, stirring both fury and longing within me. I snarl at her, a desperate attempt to shield myself from the questions that threaten to unravel the fragile facade I have built.
Without another word, I turn away from her, retreating to my car. The engine roars to life, matching the fury that rages within me. The intoxicating scent of alcohol fills the confined space, a bittersweet reminder of the escape it offers, if only for a fleeting moment.
Javier, however, rushes out as I try to turn the car around. His voice reaches my ears, pleading with me to let him drive, and not succumb to the temptation that lies before me. But I ignore his pleas, my vision blurred by the haze of alcohol and self-loathing, as he bangs on the window. I need to get away from my mother, my mate, all of them, they are driving me insane. "Just watch Sienna and don't leave her on her own," I command Javier. The tires screech as I speed away, leaving everyone behind, when I glance at the mirror I see Sienna rush out, a broom in hand.
In the rearview mirror, Sienna's figure grows smaller, fading into the distance. She is both my salvation and my downfall, a flickering flame in the darkness that threatens to burn me alive. But for now, I am lost in the abyss, drowning in my own shadows, unable to break free from the chains that bind me, at least not without hurting one of them. By the time I reach the city, I have downed my bottle of liquor, so pull up at a pub. I need a drink, something that will knock me out, not just make me numb.
10
The suffocating weight of time bears down on me relentlessly, an eternity of torment since Xandros vanished into the darkness, the car swerving out of the driveway. Javier has done nothing but pace, while I am left stranded in this room, a witness to his destruction.
The castle buzzes with anxiety and fear, the absence of our king casting a shadow over us all. His mother's worry permeates the air, a constant reminder of what's at stake if they can't find him. Guards scour the city in search of him, their efforts fruitless as he remains gone, eluding their grasp like a phantom.
