Page 20 of Lycan King's Claim
The bond is still there, existing. It kinda feels like it is mostly dormant, only tiny flickers when he comes too close, making it vibrate my being, so I don't know what to make of it. The more time he's spent avoiding me, the more it breaks, those pieces falling away along with the bond. It makes me wonder what happens once those flickers of life die out completely. Will it just lie dormant, or will the torment be so harsh it breaks me?
Xandros paces nervously, waiting for the doctor to return. Although Adina's patience proves to be thinnest as she hunts him down before returning telling us the wait is taking longer because they're struggling to find my files, Xandros tells her to leave and that Javier will take her home. I stare after her, wishing she'd stay, not wanting to be left alone with the brooding king who only grows more agitated by the minute.
When the doctor eventually does return, he has my files. He is quick to wrap up his examination, also noticing Xandros growing impatience. He deems me fit enough to leave, suggesting bed rest for a few days. "That means bed rest," Xandros warns, making me worry he'll lock me in the room again.
As we walk out of the ward, I can sense Xandros' apprehension and guilt. As we step out of the doctor's office, Xandros takes my hand in his. The touch sends shivers down my spine, a mix of fear and pleasure. I try to pull away, but he holds on tight.
"Xandros," I protest, but he cuts me off with a fierce gaze. "Don't, we wouldn't even be here if you and my mother had listened--" he blames me, which isn't surprising. As we leave the hospital, I can feel Xandros' eyes on me, as though he's waiting for something. I cast a nervous glance at him. "What is it?"
He shakes his head and looks away, a frown creasing his forehead. "It's nothing," he says, but I can tell there's more to it.
For the next few days, I do as the doctor instructed and rest in bed, though Adina still manages to sneak in to see me, to train in the room. This morning, though, I could sense something is wrong with her. "Are you okay?" I ask her and she nods. "I'm just worried about my son," she answers, and I purse my lips. Xandros checks on me sporadically, bringing me food, but he never stays long.
"Did you have an argument?" I ask curiously, he seems the same to me, the same cruel and cold man I've grown used to. "That's all we ever do. He tries to pretend he can't feel your bond dying; he tries to ignore it. It's obvious, his temper is shorter, the staff is fearful, and I wonder how long before he snaps. If he doesn’t sleep soon, I worry it will be sooner rather than later,” she murmurs, staring out the window. “He’s not sleeping?” I ask her. She shakes her head. “He hasn’t in days.”
"Maybe he and Carina fought?" I suggest. She shakes her head. "No. Carina has been acting strange, too; I hardly see her. Xandros even mentioned it the other day," she tells me. I wonder what's going on with her. "Her father, maybe?"
Adina nods. “Yes, with you in the hospital the other day, Carina convinced him to place everything on hold, but that won't last for long, and I feel the Council is becoming suspicious. They inquired about the wedding and when Xandros would mark her." Adina tells me.
"They're worried he's losing the plot." I state with a sigh.
"And they are right to worry, a mad king. Once those side effects take place, it's like a growing infection; it overtakes them, drives them to the brink of insanity, then they snap. I used to see it all the time with my father. One minute, he seemed rational, then the next, it's like a switch flicked, an explosion. Pushed to the edge of that precipice; then you'd think he'd calmed down, but you'd feel it building back up, though each time it came on faster, the calm of the storm dying out faster until there is nothing left but the craze, the darkness that takes them over."
"What does the Council do in those situations?"
"The only thing they can do, which is to dismantle the kingdom and try to save those they can. If they can't make them take a new mate, they put them down," she whispers, and I feel the weight of her words crush me.
"That won't happen to Xandros. He has a mate. He's marked me; we've marked each other."
"Yet, for some reason, that isn't enough, your bond is breaking, and I know he feels it," she states. "We won't know for sure until the blood test result comes back," I remind her, and she nods. "That's the other thing I am finding odd; they still aren't back, which isn't a good sign," she tells me.
"Why isn't it?"
"Well, when the alternative is a mad king, it leaves your options limited." she chuckles. Adina eventually leaves, deciding to try and chase up the blood test results. I lay in bed, trying to get comfortable when the bond whines and nags, I know he must be close, and I am right.
Xandros walks into the room and stops by the door. He stands there for a moment, hesitating, before slowly making his way in. His steps are slow and soft, like he's not completely sure if he should be here. He stops in front of me, but doesn't look at me immediately. Now that Adina has pointed it out, I pay closer attention to him. He looks tired, with the shadows under his eyes looking darker than usual. His movements are stiff and slow when he walks to my bedside and sets down a tray filled with freshly made food on it.
He orders me to eat, so I do without hesitation. Xandros doesn't leave - instead, he sits near the edge of my bed, silently observing me as I eat. Every once in a while, his gaze darts around nervously as if waiting for something or someone else to show up suddenly, but nothing happens beyond that tense moment each time our eyes meet. I can feel his resentment emanating from him like an aura.
It's almost suffocating, and I struggle to catch my breath. Xandros doesn't say a word as he gets up. I think he is about to leave, but he moves to the other side of the bed. "I need sleep," he tells me, and I look at him. His gaze stares at the wall, his jaw clenched. Eyes hard, he looks down at me when I say nothing. His eyes bore into mine with such intensity and anger they could burn holes in me.
I try not to flinch when he climbs into bed. I move to climb out, leaving him to sleep when he drags me closer. "Xan...please--" I plead, feeling my bond recoil in fear.
"Don't 'Xan' me!" He cuts me off angrily before pausing momentarily as if trying to regain control over himself. When he speaks again, there is an unmistakable pain in his voice that tears at my heart. "How could you? After everything we've been through...how could you do this?"
It always comes back to Toby, what I did or didn't do. "I'm sorry," I tell him, not knowing what else to say without angering him. "Sorry, won't change what you did."
"Neither will it change anything you've done," I reply. He growls but closes his eyes, and I lean against the headboard staring vacantly at the wall, trying to ignore his presence and the way our bond burns me. "Let me sleep, I will be gone in a few hours. I am not here to do anything or to hurt you," he mutters, sitting up; he undoes his suit jacket, popping the two buttons and sliding his arms out. Holding his jacket up, he searches the inside pockets before dropping something on my lap.
Picking it up, I find it's a book. "Now let me sleep," he growls, tugging me closer and resting his head on my lap. Glancing at the cover of the book, I find it's one of the ones he bought me.
"Thank you," I whisper, and he mumbles something I don't quite catch as I open it. However, halfway through my book; I must have fallen asleep because I awaken, and he's gone, the book resting on the pillow beside me, the corner folded on the page I was up to.
Tension and hatred hangs heavy in the air as the weight of my existence presses upon me. The mate bond, once a source of longing, has become a cruel tormentor, its grip tightening around my fragile soul. Dark thoughts swirl in my mind, whispering of an escape, a release from this suffocating pain that engulfs me.
Xandros, the one I yearn for, the one I am bound to, has become a specter of hatred and indifference. His coldness seeps into my bones, chilling me to the core. Days stretch into eternity as his silence devours my hope, leaving behind only barren emptiness. Some part of me clings to the idea, that Xandros is only saying he is dead to hurt me. Another part knows Xandros fury has no end, nor does he care for the people he hurts who get in his way.
Still Toby has been silent for weeks and his name is like a curse, one mention of it and it earns you glares. His absence echoes through my heart, a haunting reminder that he is gone, swallowed by the merciless jaws of fate. The knowledge of him being gone makes it harder to cope.
