Page 49 of Penned By Mr Darcy
Darcy shook his head.
“This is your ball, not mine. Host it without me. There are few who will notice my absence.”
“I would notice,” Bingley said quietly. “I would miss you.”
Darcy gave a bitter smile.
“I am touched, Bingley. Truly. But…”
“You’ve been out of sorts for days, but this… This is something else entirely. Please, Darcy, you must stop. Whatever it is, speak to me.”
Darcy turned away again, scrubbing both hands across his face.
“I am a damned fool.”
“This is because of that man, isn’t it?” Bingley asked softly.
Darcy froze. He said nothing, but Bingley continued.
“That man. Wickham.”
Darcy’s voice was hoarse when it came.
“He is not a man, Bingley. He is nothing.”
Bingley approached him cautiously, brow furrowed.
“Who is he? You have never mentioned this Mr Wickham before, but it is clear that you know one another, for he glanced at you more than once.”
“Oh, I know him,” Darcy muttered, turning to face the window as though he could outrun the memories pressing in. “I know him far too well. I know him to be the most despicable creature I have ever had the misfortune to call a friend.”
“Why?” Bingley asked. “What did he do?”
There was a long silence.
Darcy’s hands balled into fists at his sides, the knuckles white.
“I cannot say.”
“Darcy. You may trust me with anything and be assured of my most sincere confidence.”
“Icannotsay,” he repeated, more sharply. His voice cracked with the weight of it. “To speak it aloud would… it would destroy someone. Someone I am bound to protect.”
Bingley frowned his concern only deepening.
“I know whatever he has done against you must be most serious, for I have never seen you in such a distress. What can I do?”
Darcy shook his head, his hands rising to his head as though he could push away the thoughts that tormented him so. As if he could squeeze the crimes Wickham had committed against his sister from existence. It was impossible, of course; there was no changing the past. Lord knows he had tried.
“I need to be gone from this place. Away from him. Away from everyone…Away fromher.”
Bingley blinked.
“Miss Elizabeth?” Bingley asked. “I say that only because she is the only woman you have had any prolonged contact with save for my sisters, and…”
Darcy looked away. Bingley took a measured step back, his expression shifting as comprehension slowly dawned.
“Good God,” he said softly. “Isthiswhat has unsettled you so? Is this why you object to my marrying Miss Bennet - so that you might pursue her sister without entanglement? Do you wish to defile Miss Elizabeth without the burden of marriage?”
