Page 59 of Penned By Mr Darcy
“Jane!”
Her sister flushed pink, clapping a mortified hand to her mouth.
“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have asked. I do not know what came over me.”
A startled laugh escaped Elizabeth’s lips, sharp with disbelief.
“You… you shocked me.”
“I shocked myself,” Jane said, covering her mouth. “Forget I said anything.”
But Elizabeth was still smiling, though her eyes brimmed with emotion.
“It was...” She hesitated. “It was wonderful. And I hate that it was. I hate that it felt so perfect, because now it feels… ruined. Spoiled by what came after. By Wickham. By my own guilt.”
Jane reached for her hand and held it firmly.
“Then it was real.”
Elizabeth looked at her, startled.
“It was real, Lizzy. That’s why it hurt so much. That’s why it matters.”
“It does not matter. The whole thing is ruined – and a fantasy. We would never do well as husband and wife. We are too different. I do not like him!”
“Though I saw little of you both at Netherfield, whenever you encountered him you returned to me changed. I was too fatigued to remark upon it before, but now…I do not believe you hate him so much.”
“The things he said about us…”
“He wrote those in the sanctity of his own confession, Lizzy. I am certain that if he were to read your diary, if you were to keep one, he would find much of the same.”
“None of this matters, Jane! What are we do to about Mr Wickham? He is a danger to me, to all of our reputations, but also to Miss Darcy.”
She had told Jane only the barest of details of what Wickham had done to Georgiana, and even that had been enough to portray the true nature of the man. Jane sat in silence for a time, the weight of the confession heavy in the air.
“I do not know,” she said softly when she eventually spoke. “We could tell Colonel Forster of his true character.”
They had made the Colonel’s acquaintance several times, and Lizzy found him to be the most honourable of men. She was sure that if she spoke with honesty of the man’s reprehensible actions, action would be taken against Wickham. But what then? If he were removed from the militia and left without occupation or income, surely he would only become more of a danger.
“Yes, perhaps,” Lizzy said dully. “I feel hopeless, Jane.”
“I’m sorry for it. All be well, I swear it. Nobody will believe a word he has to say against you, for you are most dearly loved.”
“It does not matter if they believe it or not – he will not be lying. I have done everything he might accuse me of. I could ruin all of us with my own madness. Not even Mr Collins would have us then.”
“Oh, spare me,” Jane sighed. “We will stay here, all day, and concoct a plan. We will see this dreadful man toppled, Lizzy, I promise you that.”
Lizzy smiled weakly. Her sister had never once let her down when she promised to do something. In this case, however, she feared that Jane's promise would be impossible to fulfill.
Chapter Seventeen
Darcy
Darcy returned to Netherfield determined that, now, nothing could stop him taking his leave. It was of no consequence that Bingley’s ball was in a matter of days – let it go on without him. He had to return to London, and then he would go on to Pemberley to lick his wounds.
Her words had cut him as deeply as any sword, and he was not sure what to do with the pain that welled inside him. This affection, this love as he perceived it, had come about quite against his will, and now he felt as though he would be destroyed by the weight of his own terrible feelings.
“Mr Darcy, wherever have you been? It is far too early to go out visiting, but I was told that you and Charles went to call upon the Bennet sisters. It cannot be true.”
