Page 30 of Penned By Mr Darcy
She pressed trembling fingers to her mouth. A dream! Of course it had been a dream. In what world what she have found herself in such a situation, willingly kissed by Mr Darcy?
She looked around, finding the room to be the same as it always had been. It was not night, as it had been in that dream; the dawn light flooded through the curtains, and she closed her eyes once more. Her body tingled still, her breath uneasyand shallow. She had never had such a dream in all her life, and the sensations it had pulled from her were confusing and unwelcome.
She certainly did not wish to think of Mr Darcy in such a way.
She pulled out the book, at once turning to the back and pulling the discarded page of his diary free from its hiding place. She read it again, for only the third or fourth time since its discovery. She had done her best to put those words from her mind, but now, every slant of his writing across the page only increased the frantic beating of her heart.
She slipped a hand beneath her gown, her fingertips brushing against sensitive skin. She did so without meaning to, without knowing what it was she was searching for…she wished for relief from this ache that burned between her thighs.
She finally pressed the palm of her hand to that forbidden place, her eyes snapping closed and her back arching. Oh, she was wicked, and at once she snatched her hand away. She threw herself from the bed, hastily replacing the paper and slamming the book shut.
She felt utterly shaken, her thoughts strange and haphazard. She crossed to the basin of water left by the maid before she had woken, splashing her face with the cold water. It did little to ease the flaming skin of her heated cheeks, nor the sensations that still washed over her skin.
She did not want Mr Darcy to touch her in such a way. She could scarcely stand to be in the same room as him! Her dreams were unsettled by so long in his company, that was all.
That had to be all.
Chapter Ten
Darcy
The following morning, Darcy made a deliberate effort to rise before the rest of the household. He ordered his horse saddled before the sun had fully cleared the horizon, determined to take refuge in motion, in cold air and open fields. He would go anywhere if it meant being free of the suffocating walls of Netherfield.
He anticipated that Miss Bennet would finally depart from the house today. Her fever had broken, or so he had heard from the physician the day before. With her recovery would come Miss Elizabeth’s removal from this house and, with it, the restoration of his peace and sanity.
He did not wish Miss Bennet harm. Heaven forbid! She was a pleasant young lady who deserved nothing but good health. However, the longer she remained abed at Netherfield, the longer he had to suffer her sister’s relentless presence. Miss Elizabeth haunted the very atmosphere, lingering like perfume in the corridors, as though the very house had begun to expect her in every room. He was constantly aware of her - not by sound or sight, but by the strange, breathless anticipation that struckhim whenever a door creaked or a footfall sounded beyond his own.
She had scarcely left her sister’s side since her family had called upon them. Her family! So loud and uncontrolled, the younger girls leaping around like wild animals. After their departure, Miss Elizabeth had not come down to dinner, instead requesting a tray for both her and her sister. Whilst Bingley had been thrilled that Miss Bennet at last had an appetite, Darcy found himself resenting the fact, for it meant Miss Elizabeth was not there.
He had missed her. Bitterly.
He had passed the night in his room, pouring restless energy into his diary, as though the act of writing might drain this unbearable fixation from his veins. But the words only hardened on the page like confession and punishment both, each line betraying more than he dared admit aloud. He had stopped only when the ink began to blur with fatigue, his thoughts circling like vultures over the same doomed terrain.
Now, as he rode, the winter air burning in his lungs, he tried to summon reason. He thought of Georgiana, of his estate, of the obligation and stature to which he was bound. But each time he attempted to fix his thoughts, they wandered back to her: Elizabeth, with her arched brows and quick retorts, her unguarded moments of concern, the way her hand had brushed his in the candlelight.
He urged the horse forward, faster, as if he could outpace the thought of her. As if he hadn’t carried her image with him the moment he left the stables. The countryside around him was a blur, flashes of green and brown racing past as he set a punishing pace. It was only when Netherfield was out of sight,when there was nothing as far as the eye could see save for fields and trees, that he began to slow.
He led his horse to a stream, watching as the mare drank her fill. He did not know what to do with himself, where to go. He wanted to leave here, to return to Pemberley and his sister, but at the same time, he could not tear himself away. Darcy could not deny that some small part of him hoped to see Miss Elizabeth around every corner, and even now he hoped that she would somehow appear in this empty field and stand beside him.
Such foolish infatuation he had never known.
When he returned to Netherfield just after nine, he saw a small crowd gathered on the driveway by the main steps. He dismounted his horse, leading the animal closer before passing off the reigns to a waiting footman.
“Ah, there you are, Darcy!” Bingley called. “The Bennets are departing.”
He felt his heart dropped; so soon?! What was the hurry, to leave so early in the morning? He walked over, and was pleased (and aggrieved) to see Miss Bennet smartly dressed, a hint of pink returned to her cheeks as she dropped in a curtsey.
“Good morning, Mr Darcy.”
He bowed in return.
“Good morning, Miss Bennet. I am pleased that you have made a good recovery.”
“Thank you. It is down to the kindness of everyone here, of course. Such hospitality no doubt aided me immensely.”
“And the devoted care of Miss Elizabeth,” he added.
His gaze darted towards her, and he was pleased to see she smiled prettily at his compliment.
