Page 9 of Desired By Mr Darcy
“Mama, please...” Jane murmured, looking as though she might faint.
Mrs Bennet pressed on, undeterred.
“Now, when your husband comes to you on your wedding night - and not a moment before, mind - you must be accommodating. Men go rather mad over the whole business, but for women, it is merely a duty.”
“Then why must we do it at all if it is so unpleasant?” Lizzy asked, her tone sharp with disbelief. “And how is it that you fear we will be wanton, if it is such a chore? You are speaking in riddles!”
Mrs Bennet gasped in outrage.
“Do not be impertinent, Elizabeth! When a man lies with a woman, he has... a part that is quite different from what lies between a lady’s legs.”
Lizzy’s brow shot up.
“We are aware of that much, Mama. We have seen many paintings.”
“Paintings!” Mrs Bennet clutched her chest as though scandalized. “For Heaven’s sake, do not say that out loud! It is not the same as in paintings. When a man is... aroused, Lord help me, that part grows hard, and far bigger. If you are lucky, it will not be too big.”
Jane became alarmingly red, while Lizzy could only stare in disbelief.
“You must allow him to... put that part inside you,” Mrs Bennet continued, fanning herself furiously. “There will be pain, and blood the first time. He will, er, stir it about a bit, and that is how children are made. He will make a peculiar sound to indicate he has finished. When it is over, he will retire, and you must lie still for at least half an hour - no less! It is vital you remain still, so that his seed may take in your womb.”
Lizzy buried her face in her hands, her laughter teetering dangerously close to hysteria.
“Mama,” she said, her voice muffled, “this conversation is entirely unnecessary.”
“Entirely,” Jane echoed weakly.
“I do not think you understand what you are saying,” Mrs Bennet continued. “It is necessary because you do not know anything of men. I am correct, am I not?”
“Mama!” the girls protested in unison.
“Then stop acting as if you know everything and listen to your mother! You must not ask these things of your husbands; a spirited woman is not what a gentleman desires. You will take heed of what I have said.”
“Is that all we must know?” Lizzy asked impatiently. “That is all there is to it?”
“You must pretend to like it,” Mrs Bennet said. “Make a little noise, a sigh or a gasp. It encourages them to come to you often until a child is safely in your womb. But you must not pretend to like ittoomuch.”
“Very well. I have noted all of your advice. Come, Jane, let us walk before it grows dark.”
She looped her arm through Jane’s and all but dragged her away from the parlour and their mother. They put their coats and bonnets on in stunned silence, before slipping out into the garden. With a final glance at each other, they could hold in their disdain no longer. Lizzy collapsed into a fit of giggles, her sister laughing demurely by her side.
“She truly cannot help herself, can she?” Lizzy said, wiping away the tears of laughter that had gathered in her eyes. “What an absurd conversation.”
Jane smiled, though her cheeks were still tinged with pink.
“You know she means well, Lizzy. Her intentions are always for the best.”
Lizzy arched a sceptical brow.
“For the best? Jane, she called me a harlot! I doubt any other mother would approach the matter with such clumsiness. I feel I know no more about the business than I did when she began speaking. All I know is that I am utterly insulted.”
Jane sighed.
“I think she only worries about your... boldness. You have always been so confident, so sure of yourself. Mama fears it might... overshadow propriety.”
“Propriety,” Lizzy muttered, kicking a stray pebble on the path. “If she mentions sons or lying still for half an hour again, I swear I shall run away and join the circus.”
Jane giggled despite herself.
