Page 10 of Desired By Mr Darcy
“Lizzy, stop! Her advice was well-meaning.”
“Well-meaning is one word for it,” Lizzy quipped, a grin tugging at her lips. “And yet, for all her dramatics, she has a strange way of making me wonder if I truly am prepared for what lies ahead.”
Jane paused, tilting her head thoughtfully. “Do you mean marriage, or... what Mama spoke of.”
“Both,” Lizzy admitted, her voice softer now. “I know I love him, Jane. I know I want to spend my life with him. But there’s so much I don’t know about being someone’s wife, about sharing a life - about sharingmyselfin that way.”
Jane reached out and took her sister’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You are braver than you think, Lizzy. And Mr Darcy has never been married before, so you will learntogether, just as Charles and I will. Mother made men sound like utter beasts; I know that our husbands shall be different, for they hold us in great affection.”
Lizzy smiled, her spirits lifting at Jane’s quiet encouragement.
“You always know just what to say, dearest Jane.”
“I must admit, I am worried. I heard whispers in London of what happens when a wife does not please their husband in a suitable way.”
“What?”
Jane paused.
“They find a woman who can. A mistress. A woman whose sole purpose in life is to make other women’s husbands happy.”
Hertfordshire was a sheltered place, and the men here seemed devoted to their wives. Lizzy had heard gossip of the city, of course, and the mistresses who were kept in great luxury at the expense of men who had wives and children already. She had never believed such a thing commonplace, and she had certainly never thought the practice would threaten her own happiness, or that of her dearest sister.
“You do not need to worry, Jane. Mr Bingley is so in love with you, I doubt he would notice if Venus herself strolled by.”
“You are too generous, Lizzy. I know that I do not share the same nature as you. In fact, though I love him dearly, I feel terrified by the whole thing. Will there be pain, as Mama said?”
“I don’t know. Oh, how frustrating it is to be so ill-educated in what must be done! I would write to Charlotte and ask, if I did not think such a letter to be scandalous! Imagine Mr Collins’ face should he happen upon it!”
“You must not send such a letter! Such things cannot be committed to writing. I am sure that our husbands, dependable as they are, will advise us.”
“And until then? Are we to live in a state of uncertainty, not knowing what terrible things await us?”
“Hush, Lizzy. It cannot be so terrible! Why would a woman marry at all if such a dreadful fate awaited?”
“Because we must! Is there another choice, save for spinster-hood?”
Jane patted her hand; Lizzy was sure that she intended the gesture to be soothing, but instead she found it quite maddening.
“It is different for those who marry without affection. We are lucky. Please, Lizzy, do not distract from our happiness. There is no sense in worrying; whatever our duty, we shall be happy for we have love.”
“You are right, of course. Forgive me, my dearest Jane. You know that our mother has an unparalleled talent of knowing exactly how to offend me.”
“She means no harm.”
“You were not insulted!”
“You must admit,” Jane said softly, “that you and Mr Darcy have a certain…oh, I cannot explain it! I hate to admit that Mama may have been right. The way you gaze upon each other…”
“We do notgazeupon each other!” Lizzy retorted. “Why, you make it sound so sordid! We look at each other in a perfectly normal way, as people do!”
“It is more than that!”
“You are as ridiculous as our mother!” Lizzy balked. “Let us speak no more of this. We have much to look forward to in London, even if we must bring our mother along.”
“How wonderful it will be to no longer need a chaperone. We will be married ladies, the mistresses of our own households! I never dreamed that I would have a house as grand as Netherfield to manage – and you shall be mistress of Pemberley!”
“Say you will visit us! I cannot imagine what it shall be like to not see you every day.”
