Page 14 of Saved By Mr. Darcy
“Yes. I mean, no, you have not…Goodnight, Miss Elizabeth.”
He lingered for a moment, allowing himself the small indulgence of watching as she arranged herself for slumber. Then with a brief farewell to Mrs Gardiner, he returned to his study. He worked into the early hours, and fell asleep at his desk.
∞∞∞
The house changed with Miss Elizabeth’s waking. It felt lighter, the servant girls laughing as they went about their duties. They stopped as he went past, of course, his presence a shadow over the whole house. He knew his own mood had not improved.
He had not been back to Miss Elizabeth’s bedside after that night. She had heard all he had said, and though she had shown him pity, he was certain that had been owed to her poor condition. He clung to her soft smile, the dreamy lilt to her voice as she had told him she had heard him. That brief moment of hope had somehow made things a thousand times worse. If he did not see her, then he might pretend that all was well. She was not here, she was hundreds of miles away in Hertfordshire, and nothing had changed.
Everything had changed. She had changed him irreparably.
He did not dare to go back to that room, so he did not. He kept the company of Mr Gardiner often, discussing the weather and matters of business. The man was a good one, and Darcysaw much of Mr Bingley’s father in him. Mrs Gardiner was less familiar to him, for she spent much of her time by her niece’s bedside, and the rest abed herself. The couple dined with him and Georgiana for each meal, save for when Mrs Gardiner ate with Miss Elizabeth or was too overcome with fatigue to eat anything.
He worried for the woman; she was still battered and bruised from the accident, but there was more than that. Darcy had never been one to see hidden sentiments or emotions, and therefore the woman’s anguish must have been even easier for others to see. She had seen the doctor several times, but the man had waved her state away as shock. She would recover in time, he said, with rest and relaxation.
“It is a hard thing, to see a woman you love struggle so,” Mr Gardiner had said over brandy one evening. “The light in her eyes has gone. She’s happier now our dear girl is awake, but…she is not well, sir. I want to take her away from here, take her home.”
“I will arrange everything for you when you are ready.”
“Lizzy will not be able to travel for some weeks, I fear. Madeline…she is a strong woman, but I do not know that she can last so long. She sobs with longing for the children, for our home. I would not ask my wife to stay where she would not, sir. I must take her away. I ask too much of you, but…”
“Miss Elizabeth must remain here as long as she needs.”
“You are good to us, sir. Too good.”
“It is nothing.”
“We shall see how Lizzy fares, and wait to see if my sister changes her stubborn mind and sends Jane. Lizzy must not know, not yet, that Jane is not coming. I am sure Mrs Bennet will come to her senses.”
“I hope so, for Miss Elizabeth’s sake. I know she cares for her sister a great deal.”
“They are inseparable. Poor Jane must be terribly worried.”
Darcy nodded, unsure what to say. Though he had spent a great deal of time with Mr Gardiner, he still found himself unable to fill silences.It was not that Darcy disliked the man, for he certainly did not, but he felt a sense of guilt he could not shake every time he looked at his face.
“I should let you go. We have occupied too much of your time. A place like this must always need your attention,” Mr Gardiner smiled. “I wonder how my own business fares. I confess my mind has been too heavy to write and ask for work I might do.”
“Your work is here, for now. Your recovery, and that of your kin, is the most pressing thing,” Darcy said, rising to his feet. “A good day to you, Mr Gardiner.”
He left the dining room, meaning to head for his study. But as they so often did, his feet lead him to the Blue Room. He could hear the soft voice of his sister, her gentle laughter lilting down the corridor. He was pleased that she had taken so quickly to Miss Elizabeth, and hoped that Georgiana’s companionship would lift her spirits.
His own spirits were low. He felt a melancholy that would not lift; a stranger in his own home. He stayed awake all night, walking aimlessly around the house and the grounds. He did not care for the darkness, taking no light with him. He was a ghost,a shadow who paced relentlessly. He had no thoughts, no cares, only a heart so heavy that he did not know how long he could bear the weight of it.
He stayed away from Miss Elizabeth’s room in the day, keeping to his study or taking what little sleep was granted to him, but at night he could not help himself. Sometimes, when he was sure that the servants were away and Miss Elizabeth was sleeping, he would linger outside her door. She did not sleep well, and he often heard her cry out in anguish. He always pushed the nearest bell for a servant, leaving before any arrived. She needed comfort, but he would certainly not be the one who could provide her any relief from her nightmares.
Georgiana seemed to revel in their new guests, her quiet demeanour suddenly lively in a way he had not seen in a year. She engaged in bright conversation with Mrs Gardiner, who responded only with a meek smile or a mundane comment. This did not faze Georgiana, who delighted in playing piano for their guests. Miss Elizabeth, he was told, could hear it from the Blue Room and found the music a pleasant distraction.
The doctor visited daily, checking Miss Elizabeth’s wounds for signs of infection. The breaks to her leg and ankle were healing well, but would need to stay bound for several more weeks. She also had several broken ribs that had become more apparent as she was moving more, but these too would heal well with rest.He was told of her progress each day, the doctor calling for his payment. He said nothing, only handed over coins and gave a brief nod of acknowledgement at the report.
Soon, Elizabeth would be healed – and she would have no more need of him.
Chapter Five
Life was a fragile thing, and Lizzy could not bring herself to complain about her current condition. Though she was bound to her bed, leaving for a minute at a time to see to her ablutions with the support of several servants, she was grateful beyond measure to be alive. Her body ached, her muscles bruised and bones broken, and still she lived. Every breath was a miracle, every sound she heard sent from above. She was sure that she would never take a single moment for granted again.
She was pleased to have not had to spend more than a few minutes by herself. Her aunt was her constant companion, sitting beside her. It was a miracle, too, Lizzy was realising, that her aunt had survived the terrible accident. She had not said much about it, only that Mr Darcy had played a fundamental part in their rescue.
The other thing her aunt had not elaborated on was when Jane would be expected at Pemberley. It had been made quite clear to Lizzy that she would not be able to travel for weeks, perhaps months. As soon as she had learned this, she had asked her aunt to write to Longbourn at once to bid Jane to travel north toDerbyshire. Her aunt explained softly that this had already been done, and that they were waiting for a reply.
