Page 25 of The Fear
“What else has he said? How long has he felt this way?” Greer asked. “There has to be a reason. Grady…Grady is one of thebestof us. Why doesn’t that bonehead see that? He’s the first one there when someone needs something. And he always has been.”
Hala tried to think of everything her favorite bonehead had said. “He said…he’s known for fifteen years. He’d have been nineteen then.”
Greer said a word Hala didn’t even realize her bestie knew. “Fifteen…years?”
“Well, hell,” Gia said. All of his sisters had tensed. Hala had the feeling she might be on to something here. “He doesn’t seriously mean—doesn’t think…?”
“Probably thinks the same thingGenedid, honestly, and why wouldn’t he? He was right there, front row,” Chantal said, thensighed. “He blames himself for what happened to Greer, too. Doesn’t he?”
“But…why? Why would he?” Greer asked. “How can he think that? Iknewhe was coming for me. Grady was my hero that day. I knew my brother would be there because I needed him. I saw him running to his truck when those monsters were dragging me away. I knew Grady was coming for me. I remember thinking I just had to wait, that Grady would get me away from them as soon as he could.”
Greer had been abducted from the front yard when she’d been nine. She’d been ejected from her abductors’ car when they’d deliberately crashed into Gene’s truck, as Gene was driving down the driveway, unaware of what had happened. One of her abductors had died. Greer had ended up in a coma. She’d had to learn to walk again—and she still had a faint limp when she was tired. Grady and Gene had seen it happen.
Greer had almost died. Hala wouldneverforget the hurt and pain her friend had gone through.
“But he…didn’tget you away from them before you were hurt,” Aubrey said, quietly. “That’s what matters to him. He didn’t get you away in time.”
“Gunndid get Genny away,” Ronnie said, quietly. “His twin rescued one sister. ButGradydidn’t get to Greer before she was hurt. Grady has always compared himself to Gunn; and in his own head—came up lacking. Even though we know it’s just not true.”
Aubrey put her arm around her little sister. “It’s guilt, ladies. Deep-seated, unconscious guilt. For a long time, I felt the same. I was so angry—with myself—for not better protecting my baby sister the day she was hurt.”
“I think it’s more fear…” Ayla said, quietly. “He’s afraid if he gets with a woman now, he can’t keep her safe because he thinks he failed Greer.”
That made sense. Grady was afraid. Damn it.
It hurt her to even think about him hurting that way.
“It happens in…tragedies. I’ve done a lot of reading on…trauma. I blamed myself for not walking Celia home that day.” Ronnie said. Ronnie’s own younger sister had been abducted when she was twelve. Everyone had thought Celia was dead—it had been the biggest mystery in Barratt County in decades. They’d only reunited in the last few years.
There was just too much hurt going around this world. Hala would never understand it.
“Even though it wasn’t your fault I was hurt. It was one hundred percentthat monster’s.I am the one who walked in on that monster attackingyou. I am glad I did. I kept you from being raped by him. I wouldn’t trade that one bit. Even with these things forever.” Ayla motioned to the crutches that went with her everywhere. She’d nearly died when she’d been eleven when Aubrey’s attacker had thrown Ayla down a flight of stairs, breaking her back. Ayla had told Hala and Greer the details before. “That man was hurting you. And I think he would have killed you if I hadn’t interrupted. I stopped him. And I still haveyou.That is what matters to me. What has always mattered to me.”
Hala hurt for her friends and the pain she could see on their faces now. Why did good people have to be hurt this way? That was something she’d never understand.
Every Hiller brother was fiercely overprotective over their sisters. Just like Hudson was over her. Of course. Grady felt he wasn’t good enough because of what happened to Greer. Damn the men who had done it—the repercussions of their actions would be felt by the Hiller family for the rest of their lives. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right. Grady didn’t deserve to hurt that way at all.
“But how do we reprogram Grady?” Hala asked as the puppy version of him nipped at her ear. She just cuddled him close, halfway in love already. “I hate that he thinks this. That he’s hurting like that. And has been for years.”
“The only reason he didn’t get me away from them and Gunn got Genny away that day is because Grady was in the barn, taking care of the horses while Gunn was inside making dinner. Grady was just too far away. I’ve always known that. I was in the yard, and Genny on the porch. I was closer to those guys. It was just…happenstance. Random. I can talk to him,” Greer said. “Make him understand it was never his fault what happened.”
“Gene told me something similar. He said he was angry with himself for not somehow getting out of the way. If he’d pulled over or something, they wouldn’t have hit him that day,” Chantal said, putting an arm around Genny’s shoulders. “And then Greer wouldn’t have been thrown. But…something even worse could have happened instead.”
“Wrong,” Greer said, wiping tears. “They saw Gene coming andaimedfor him on purpose. Said we’d all go out in a blaze of glory, and they’d take whoever was in that truck out with us. I thought it was my mom and dad and Gia. But I knew…it had to be someone I loved.And I could see Grady coming up behind us through the back window. And I knew…Grady was my hope that day. He rode in the ambulance with me, holding my hand, and I knew I’d be okay because he wasthereand not one of them.I will never forget waking to see Grady next to me during the scariest moments of my life.That doofus butthead.”
Grady had had a first-row seat for the accident that could have killed his youngest sister, andhis brother Gene. That…she would alwaysremember what that had felt like, when her own parents and her baby sister had died. Always.
Oh, that bonehead…Hala fought tears as she imagined how he would havehurtall this time.
“So,” Gia asked, hugging Greer close. “How are we going to fix him?”
“Well, if he thinks no decent woman deserves him, a decent woman is going to have to justshowhim differently,” Chantal said, Dog Gene trying to nurse on her finger. That puppy was all over her. Fitting, really, since Man Gene usually was all over Chantal now, too. But…Chantal was eyeing Hala with intent here.
“I think Hala just needs to seduce him—then when she has him in her clutches, reprogram him. Show him a decent woman is exactly what he deserves. Hiller boys can be reprogrammed, you know,” Ronnie said, bluntly. She was very wise—usually. “It’s just…sometimes they have to be re-reprogrammed. It’s a lot of work…to…maintain…a Hiller boy. Any of you ladies getting involved with one of those Hiller boys—you need to be prepared, and know exactly what you are getting into. This really is a full-time commitment.”
Well. Hala didn’t know if she was ready for that, honestly. The idea of seducing a man—even Grady—was absolutely terrifying. And a full-time commitment—yeah, wasn’t that jumping too far ahead, here?
“We should get back up there,” Genny said. “Someone is going to notice we’re missing.”
