Page 47 of Follow the Rhythm
She sat in the chair across from me, her feet tucked under her just like I remembered.
“I promise I won’t leave the room. You should go get to sleep.”
“Are you alright?” she asked.
“I’m grand,” I answered.
She studied me, her eyes shining in the warm glow of the lamp. “I don’t think you are.”
I closed my eyes. I was so tired, in every sense of the word. I meant to respond, to say something witty, but sleep pulled me under.
Chapter 15 - Jess
“Asshole,” I whispered under my breath. Ellis passed out too quickly, and his breathing was too shallow. I couldn’t just leave him to choke on his own vomit. The nuns had made us watch a very graphic video on the topic, and the fear had never left me.
I found a blanket and settled into the chair across from the couch to make sure he didn’t die in his sleep. Of course, that would serve him right for being an insufferable pain in the ass.
I watched him, feeling like the world’s biggest creep. Where the hell was his stupid girlfriend, anyway?
The minutes passed slowly, and he didn’t die. He looked vacant in his sleep, not peaceful, his face totally slack and devoid of the spark that I was used to seeing.
What had happened to him? He had never been a partier in high school, even though he was always invited whenever someone managed to sneak in some alcohol. He would hang out with me instead, since I was usuallynotinvited.
Was this just what happened to insanely successful musicians? I thought of Kieran. He didn’t drink or do anything fun at all, as far as I could tell.
There were still glimmers of the boy I loved, though, in those moments when we fell back into our old jokes. My Ellis was still in there, somewhere, and I wished I could have more time with him.
I drifted off at some point and woke up with a kink in my neck, more annoyed than ever. My one night off the fucking bus, and I’d spent it curled up in a chair. Charlie would pay for not getting me my own room.
Ellis was still sleeping deeply, but his breathing was more even. I got up and stretched. It was way too early, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. I went to my room to change into some leggings and headed out quietly to the hotel gym to force myself to do yoga.
I both hated and loved yoga. Right before I’d been sent to the Omega Center, when I was an inpatient at the hospital, exercise had been part of my depression treatment plan. One of the options was a yoga class, and it was the only exercise that didn’t make me even angrier. And sometimes, I even liked it a little.
The hotel gym was deserted at the early hour, so I didn’t feel self-conscious. I slowly worked out the stiffness in my joints and tried to center my mind.
I had always been terrible at meditating, but somehow I had gotten even worse. Now, when I closed my eyes, my mind was not just filled with the usual mess of self-pity and self-loathing, but also three annoyingly attractive Alphas.
I grunted in frustration and pushed myself out of savasana. I needed coffee.
At the coffee shop in the lobby, I annoyed myself even more by getting three lattes instead of just two for Grace and me.
When I got back to the room, Ellis was awake. He was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, but he looked up when I entered. I kicked my shoes off at the door.
“Here,” I said, thrusting the coffee at him.
“Cheers,” he said, his voice gravelly.
He looked so sad that I sank into the chair I’d slept in instead of just leaving him to it. The coffee was good. Ellis took a sip and hummed in appreciation.
“Thanks for letting me crash here.” His hair was mussed from sleep, and it was strange to see him in his socks, like I was looking behind the curtain. “I’m sorry for waking you.”
“It’s fine. Just don’t do it again.”
Ellis smiled ironically. “No promises, darling.”
I rolled my eyes. “You shouldn’t call me that.”
Ellis nodded, looking serious. “I know. For what it’s worth, I do feel bad for how I left things between us. Even if I have a terrible way of showing it sometimes.”
