Page 49 of Follow the Rhythm
Ellis’s eyes were shining. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, you have to believe me.”
“That doesn’t fix it!” I yelled, slamming my fist against the arm of the chair. Tears were gathering at the back of my throat, like a fist clenching around my windpipe.
He nodded. “I know. But I’m still sorry.”
I tried to hold it in, but suddenly I was sobbing. Ellis pulled the latte out of my hand and tugged me gently into his lap. I fought him for just a moment, but his scent, even clouded by the smell of stale alcohol, was so familiar, and this wasEllis, who’d held me when I cried so many times before. I let him wrap his arms around me.
“Hush, darling, it’s okay,” he said into my hair as I cried into his shirt. He rubbed my back, and a purr started in his chest, soft and rattling.
I’d learned a lot of lessons about grief, but the biggest one was that the more I tried to shove it down, the more it shoved back. And I'd been suppressing my grief over Ellis for almost ten years. Now it felt like some invisible pressure valve inside me had finally popped open, and it all poured out. I cried for my aunt, for my mom, and for myself. I cried self-indulgent, big, ugly, messy tears, but Ellis just held me and purred.
Eventually, the storm passed as it always did, and my tears ran dry. Ellis’s purr slowly faded.
“I’m still mad at you,” I mumbled into his shirt, then wiped my face with a crumpled coffee shop napkin.
“I would expect nothing less. You were always excellent at holding a grudge. It’s one of your many talents.” He kissed the top of my head. “Better?”
“I think so.” I leaned off his chest. I was still sitting on his lap. He traced a finger down the side of my face, so soft it could have been my imagination. I was close enough to see the dark ring of indigo around his pupils, along with each striation of icy blue.
I didn’t know who moved first, but then his nose was sliding along mine, and our lips were just a breath apart. My heart kicked into high gear.
I could have closed the last gap between us. But I didn’t, and neither did he. And then all the reasons kissing him was a spectacularly dumb idea crowded into my head. I didn’t trust my weak heart with Ellis. I wouldn’t let him shatter me again.
I moved away and crawled out of his lap, racking my brain for the best way to defuse the tension that still thrummed between us.
“Sorry, I got snot all over your shirt,” I said finally, and that put us firmly back in safe territory. Ellis smiled with what I thought might have been relief.
“Ah, this shirt has seen much worse, darling. It was an honor to serve as your tissue,” he said with a mock salute.
I punched his shoulder softly. Sometime during my tears, or maybe the insane moment I’d almost kissed him, my anger had faded. He was still a narcissistic asshole, but the hurt had lessened. Maybe we could be friends after all.
“Will you be alright? I have to go deal with the consequences of my actions,” he said, looking grim.
“You could also use a shower.” I grimaced, pretending to wave away his stench. “You smell like a distillery.”
Ellis leaned closer to sniff at the side of my throat. I shivered uncontrollably at the tickle of his breath on my hair. “So could you, darling, or sweet Charlie might get jealous of my scent all over you.”
“Ha ha, very funny, now get out of here,” I said and used my bare feet to kick him off the couch. He stepped into his boots and pulled on his jacket.
“See you at soundcheck,” he called over his shoulder.
As I got ready to shower, I realized I felt lighter than I had in a long time.
Chapter 16 - Jess
Charlie was on my shit list, and I had a plan for revenge.
I put on the shirt, tiny shorts, and knee-high boots I’d worn when he nearly bit me in my kitchen to show him exactly what he was missing out on. Maybe that would make him think twice before pissing me off again.
Grace caught me before I left the hotel suite. She choked on the now-cold latte I’d bought her.
“Jesus Christ, Jess. Why do you look so hot?” she asked.
“Is it too much?” I asked.
“If you’re trying to give those Alphas that keep sniffing around a heart attack, I think it’ll do the job.”
I smiled wickedly. “Perfect.”
