Page 32 of The Reckoning
“I don’t care.” She cuts him off. “Maybe with me out of the picture, you both will be able to figure things out—either that or you’ll kill each other.”
Her gaze shifts to me, those blue eyes that have haunted me for years now hardened with determination. “Aries, I understand your anger. I do. But this”—she gestures back and forth between us—”this hatred, this competition. It has to stop.”
“Easy for you to say,” I mutter, the bitterness I’ve been nursing for months spilling over. “You’re not the one who spent months in a cage while your twin played house with your?—”
I stop myself again, that word still caught in my throat.
What was Lilian to me, really?
Something I’ve never been able to define because defining it would make it real?
“With what?” Lilian challenges, stepping closer. “Your what, Aries? Your girlfriend...because you sure as hell made sure I was never that.”
The accusation stings, but only because there’s truth in it. Our relationship was always complicated, but it was also…something else. Something genuine that got tangled up in expectations and obligations.
“That’s not fair,” I say, voice low. “What we had?—”
“Was built on lies,” she finishes for me. “Lies about who you were. About who I was. About what was expected of us. And worst of all, the lies you told yourself to keep us from actually beingsomething.”
“And what you have with him is better?” I can’t keep the bitterness from my tone. “The man who kidnapped me? Who stole my life? Who’s been planning the destruction of our entire family?”
“I didn’t say that.” Lilian glances back at Arson, and a look of complication passes between them. “There is no competition to be had. I’m not choosing either of you. I’m choosing myself.”
When we don’t respond, she stands, hands on her hips and mouth grim. “Going forward, if either of you wants anything to do with me, you will learn to fucking share. Learn to put your differences aside. I don’t care how much it might hurt me to walk away. Don’t call my bluff because I’ll do it. Seeing you two act like this hurts me so much more.”
“It’s not something we can turn on and off,” Arson mutters, clearly frustrated.
Lilian takes a deep breath, maybe trying to center herself before she looks between us once more.
“I understand that, and I’m not expecting you to let all that pain and hatred go. But I will not let you use me as an object totransfer those emotions through. If either of you wants a chance with me, if you care as much as you claim, then you will learn to get along. Even if it’s only for me. Our primary focus is working together, and we can’t work as a team if you’re constantly at odds with each other. These men—whoever they are, whatever they want—they’re playing a game none of us fully understand. It was clear by the way the older one was talking to me that he knew things that we didn’t. We are missing big pieces of the puzzle. We can’t be at our strongest if the only thing you both care more about than bringing these people down is hurting each other.”
Arson resettles his shoulders, and it’s so wholly a movement that isn’t related to me that it makes me relax a degree.
“I understand,” I tell her, willing her to see it.
“So do I,” Arson adds.
She shakes her head at us. “If you understood, then you would let some of the hate between the two of you go, so you could work together, but you don’t. You’re still at each other’s throats.”
It’s the truth, and I don’t know how to defuse the rage.
Which is greater—my hate for Arson or my desire to be with Lilian?
There is no Lilian without him, and if I want her, then I will need to learn to accept that.
“I’m not giving you up, and I’m not willing to put your safety at risk because of him.”
“I feel the same way,” Arson growls.
“Okay, then we’re in agreement. You will do your best to stop fighting and trying to hurt each other.”
My jaw aches as I clench it. I don’t want to agree, but I know if I don’t, Lilian will walk out that fucking door, and I won’t be able to live with myself if I let her walk away again.
“Yes, at least for the time being. Once everything returns to normal, I can’t say we won’t be at each other’s throats again. The only thing we can seem to agree on is you.”
Arson meets my gaze, identical hazel eyes reflecting the same cold determination I feel. “Agreed.”
“Fine, but my stance remains the same. It’s both of you or neither of you. I refuse to choose between you.”
