Page 27 of The Reckoning
“Enough!” The word tears out of me, sharp enough to slice the air.
In one quick move, I slam both hands into Arson’s chest. His snarl follows me as I wrench free, legs unsteady when my feet hit the floor. The blanket lies tangled at the edge of the bed. I seize it and wrap it tight around my shoulders, clutching it like a shield.
Heat scorches my skin, every nerve buzzing beneath the weight of their rage. “I cannot, and I will not be a part of this.” The words tear out of me, raw and shaking. “I will not allow you both to drag me into your war against each other.”
Arson’s jaw flexes, a retort ready, but I cut him off with a sharp slice of my hand.
“No, shut your mouth. I’m talking. Both of you have said plenty, but you know what neither of you has asked?” I don’t give either of them a chance to respond, and continue speaking. “What I wanted or how I feel? And I guess it makes sense, since, well, it might seem like this whole situation really has little to do with me, and more so to do with how you can use me against each other.” My chest heaves, the blanket slipping against my skin as I clutch it tighter. “And if that’s all I am to both of you—a way to wound each other—then maybe neither of you deserves me.”
For a moment, the room is silent. Arson bristles beside me, fury vibrating off him, but Aries is the one who breaks first. His mouth opens, then closes again, his jaw tight like he’s grinding down words he can’t afford to say.
When his gaze finally finds mine, it’s raw enough to strip me bare. “What you want matters,” he says hoarsely, the words spilling like they’ve been caged too long. “It has always mattered. You have always mattered.” He drags a hand over his face, torn open and struggling to piece himself back together. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I came in to check on you and to figure out a plan. I want…I don’t know what I want right now—” His breath stutters, his voice cracking under the weight of it. “I can’t. I need space before I rip this room apart.”
He backs toward the door, eyes lingering on me for a heartbeat longer than I can stand, before he turns and walks out, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the walls.
Suddenly, the room feels split in half, with my heart caught in the fault line. There’s no way back, and there’s no lying to myself anymore. I want both of them, together, and it has to be together or nothing because I can’t choose.
I won’t choose.
Arson lets out a bitter laugh that’s low and jagged. “Let him slam doors and sulk in the dark. I’m the one still here, the one keeping you safe.” He rolls off the edge of the bed and gestures to the spot he was just in. “Now come lie back down and rest.”
I stare at him, incredulous. “You think I want to lie down and rest after what just happened?”
“Probably not,” he admits, dragging a hand through his hair, “but you need to.”
I shake my head, tightening the blanket around me. “No. What I need is for this feud between the two of you to end.”
His gaze cuts to me, sharp and warning, hazel eyes dark. “It’s not that easy, and you know it. One conversation isn’t going to fix us. Hell, years of therapy wouldn’t.”
“Then how will this ever work?” My voice cracks, the question splintering between us.
He only shrugs, muscles taut as he reaches for his jeans and yanks them on. “I don’t know. But I know this—I want you. And I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you safe. To keep you… here.”
I swallow hard, my throat raw. “Even if it means letting go of your hate? Of your revenge against him?”
Suddenly, it feels like a million miles are between us. Arson freezes, his back half turned as he zips his jeans. His mouth shuts hard, jaw ticking like he’s grinding down the urge to fight me. The silence stretches, seconds dragging out until I’m not sure if he’s even going to answer or if there is an answer to be had.
Then his shoulders bunch, his whole frame tight as wire. “It’s not something I can just let go of,” he snarls, voice rough and dangerous. “You think it’s that simple? That I snap my fingers and the blood, the years, the rot just vanish? No.” He turns halfway toward me, chest heaving, eyes lit with a fire that sears through the space between us. “That hate is carved into my bones, Lilian. It’s the only thing that kept me breathing when everything else was ripped away. Strip me of it”—his hand fists at his side, trembling with restraint—”and there’s nothing left.”
My grip tightens on the blanket, nails digging into the fabric. I meet his eyes, steady even as my voice splinters. “I understand that, but if you can’t learn to cope with it…learn to control it, then you’ll lose me, too. Because I won’t compete with your hate. I won’t let it devour me the way it’s devoured you.”
NINE
ARIES
Imake it only feet down the hall before I lose control and smash my fist into the concrete wall. The pain barely registers in my mind as the skin splits across my knuckles.
It’s a distant, secondary feeling to the white-hot rage coursing through my veins at this moment. Seeing her naked body pressed againsthischest.Fuck.The memory makes me mental, makes me want to spill blood.
She says she’s not choosing him, but it feels like she is. Itlookslike she is.
“Whoa,” Drew says from somewhere behind me. “Maybe don’t break your hand? We’ve got enough problems without adding more injuries to the pot.”
I round on him, all the accumulated betrayal of the past months finding a convenient target. “Shut the fuck up. You don’t get to joke. Not now. Not after everything.”
Drew’s expression shifts, warmth draining from his features until I’m looking at a stranger wearing my friend’s face. His posture straightens, shoulders squaring as he meets my gaze with cold calculation.
“I thought we would wait to hash this out, but it seems like you’re looking for a fight so maybe we will discuss it now,” he announces, his voice flat.
