Page 83 of Vicious Arrangement
I file that away. “I didn’t… I’m not… I’m late.”
“Then why are you calling me?” she asks. “Go to work.”
I sit on my sofa, and shut my eyes for a moment. “Two weeks late with my period.”
There’s silence, then, “Oh.”
“Katie, what if?—”
“I’m there, Ari.” Her voice is determined, like a warrior woman going into battle. “Now. In ten.”
“You’re at work.”
“It’s my lunch break.” She sniffs.
I look at my watch. “It’s eight a.m.”
“That’s when I eat lunch.” She hangs up, and it’s seven minutes later, that she buzzes my door frantically. I let her in, and when she gets off the elevator, she has five bulging bags with her.
I stare.
“I’m an Olympic gold medalist at speed shopping, Ari.” She shoves a bag at me. “Here’s some tea. Black tea, Rooibos, honey bush, toasted brown rice, and the airplane vodka’s mine.”
“Katie!”
She shrugs. “What? I’ve got a meeting with Dave today. I hate Dave, he’s a drive-you-to-drink guy. This is self-bribery. I have a collection. One day, I’ll see if I have enough to put in a bottle.”
“What else did you get?” I ask.
She hands me bag two. “Baby stuff, just in case, you know.”
“Oh, God.”
Then comes bag three. “Tissues. In case you aren’t, or are. Plus vitamins, snacks, and chocolate. And…” She picks up the fourth bag. “Not this one… wait… this one. Bag five.”
I’m not sure if I’m ready for the fifth bag.
She counts the final bag’s contents. “Twelve pregnancy tests.”
“One is enough.” I half-collapse against the sofa in the great room, and Angus sniffs the fourth bag, which, when he drags a chew toy out of it, I see that’s an Angus bag.
“You can’t be too careful.” She scratches Angus behind the ears. “Right? Mama can’t be too careful.”
“I’m a nurse.”
“And still,” Katie says, “she needs to learn about safe sex.”
“I’m married.”
“Technically.” Katie collects the bags and waits expectantly.
I groan. “Oh, come on. You and Angus can wait on my terrace.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck,” Katie agrees.
“Woof,” Angus barks.
