Page 56 of Vicious Arrangement
Maybe he’s been hoping Noah would fall for me and me for him.
I spread my hands, palms down on the table, and stare at them, the short nails showing the life of hard work showing. Most girls my age have pretty hands.
Soft and dewy. Long pretty nails.
Hands like Katie’s.
Not me. No polish, and a little in need of TLC, but constant washing and hand sanitizer, and gloves leaves them a little rough around the edges.
Noah and a woman like me? I don’t even get his attraction.
“Ari,” he says softly.
I blow out a breath. “I’m confused, I guess.”
“Confused?”
I glance up, and there’s a hint of uncertainty on his face, like maybe he shouldn’t have gone into this line of questioning.
“Yeah, I guess… I don’t know what to feel or think when it comes to Noah. He’s so difficult to read. Sometimes I think he likes me, sometimes I think I’m just a bane to his existence, and other times…” I half smile. “He’s nice. But I just don’t know, because he’s also arrogant and aware of just how good he looks.”
“You’d beat any girl, hands down.”
I laugh at that. “You’re biased, Gramps. But… it isn’t that. It’s just, he’s so difficult to read.”
I land on that line a second time because it’s true and it’s the vibrating line through everything. If he just didn’t want me, that’s fine. If he did and it was just want, then that’s fine too. It’s all the rest. The banter, the passion, the anger, the keeping away. That convoluted apology that’s still got spikes.
It got to me in so many ways I didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with. So I left the note, and then…
Nothing.
Confusing.
Hard. To. Read. Man.
“I feel guilty,” Gramps says, voice soft, a little sad. “I got you trapped in a loveless marriage because of me and my pride.”
“Your heart and soul and the business you shaped aren’t pride. And I’d do anything for you.”
“Aria, I’ve gone and put you in hell, haven’t I? Selfish old man.” He shakes his head and starts to get up.
But I lean across the table and put a hand on his, stopping him. “You asked me something, and I said yes. I went into it opened-eyed and of my own free will. I could have said no.”
“You don’t say no to me.”
“And you’ve never said no to me. You’ve loved me, supported me, raised me, given me not just a life, but a loving, stable basis and a future, so I didn’t say no. But, I could have.”
I pick up my wine and breathe in the fragrant air.
“I’m still sorry, Aria. A stupid old man.”
I ignore him. “Thing is, Gramps, it isn’t hell. He’s actually funny, and I like that. His staff are nice, and I think that says something about him.” I’m not thinking about the poor girl I terrorized with my screams of pleasure. Nope. Not here. No way.
“And there are times when I catch glimpses of the man I think Noah wants to be. But he’s got walls and snark and all that arrogant asshole air around him. And then he’s distant, moody, and suddenly nowhere to be seen. It’s… frustrating.”
I guess I could have been home more in the past few weeks, but so could he. And I did reach out to let him know I wouldn’t be home for dinner, and he deliberately ignored me. So he could, if he wanted, make a move to at least open a dialogue, offer a real olive branch.
Gramps nods and gets up to top off our glasses, then adds a glug of wine to the cassoulet, puts the lid on, and puts the hefty pan into the oven, adjusting the temperature.
