Page 14 of Vicious Arrangement
“Daddy’s no fun.”
I put Josh down, and he races off to the living room area, which is set up for him to play in, and he starts in on his Lego.
I follow Asher through to the kitchen.
“You know, man, I think that damn kid loves you more than me.”
“I’m richer,” I say.
“You’re an asshole.” But he grins and pours a glass of wine, pushing it over the granite island at me.
“Thanks.” I set down my satchel and pull out dessert, and the wine, and a small packet of Josh’s favorite candy. “Of course, he might just pretend to love me for these.”
Thing is, as Asher grins in the direction where Josh is, I can feel the love in the air. It’s actually palpable. And it hurts something in me, as well as makes my heart swell.
It really doesn’t matter how often I see them together, his love for his kid is something that amazes me and humbles me.
Josh is so well-adjusted, just a good kid who knows he’s loved.
Nothing’s missing in Josh’s life, he’s never wanted his mommy, not since he was a tiny kid. He just wants his daddy, the man who loves and protects him, who cheers him on and keeps his life warm and good.
It’s a million years from my cold upbringing.
But it’s not just Joshy. It’s Asher. I’d never tell him, but he’s a rock for me, too. I’ve never met someone so together.
He’s a single fucking dad in New York, raising his little son. I mean, Josh is the best, but he’s also four and tantrums and four-year-old dramas happens all the time. But Asher just takes it in his stride and no matter how busy he is, he has endless time and patience for Josh.
“How the fuck do you do it?” I ask.
“Do what?” He takes a swallow of his red wine, and starts chopping a cucumber into small cubes the way Josh likes. “I pick up a knife, slice the cuke this way, and then?—”
“Not that.” I take a swallow of the wine, tension easing out of me. “This. Josh. Your life. You work as an IT specialist from home. And you manage to cook, clean and do everything for Josh.”
“He’s a good kid,” Asher says, “and not all of us were born with a whole selection of silver spoons.”
“Yeah, well, there are times I can barely look after myself.”
“It’s the drool, you’ll want to see to that.”
“Funny.”
“I’m thinking of taking the act on the road.”
But the thing is, it’s true. I don’t know how to nurture myself or anyone else. It’s why I avoid relationships. All that shit where you need to look after the relationship, to grow it, or whatever bullshit they all say you have to do.
I’m better on my own.
So yeah, I avoid relationships. At least it’s one of the reasons.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Fine.”
“I’m asking?—”
“I know what you’re asking about, Ash,” I say, getting up and putting the dessert to one side and the candy in a cupboard so Asher can give them to Josh at his own discretion. It’s not about laurels for me. I don’t need to buy this kid’s love or win points, but I like to do little things to spoil him and not step on Daddy’s toes in the meantime.
“He was still your grandfather.”
