Page 57 of Damian & Jun: Episodes 1-4
“Because I run with Matthew.”
“Who’s Matthew?”
“Matthew is the man who made me jealous enough to finish undergrad early. He was Richard’s boy when I met him. I didn’t become Richard’s submissive until I was nineteen. He didn’t touch me sexually until I was twenty-one. I was a brat about it, but he laid down the rule, nothing sexual until I’d gotten a degree. I was so jealous of Matthew.” A rueful laugh burst out of Damian’s chest.
“Is he still Richard’s? Are you still jealous?”
“Matthew married Hypatia, and she became his domme. She studied with Richard for years to be worthy of him.”
Jun lifted his head to look at Damian. “Worthy? Why?”
“Richard wasn’t going to turn Matthew over to just anyone. And Matthew respected that. When he realized he was falling in love with Hypatia, he went to Richard as his dom, and then Richard and Matthew spoke with Hypatia. Hypatia wanted to be Matthew’s central rock, but that meant she would need to lead him. So Richard offered to teach her to become the domme that Matthew needed.”
“Richard does that?”
“Who do you think is teaching me?”
Jun pushed back again, and Damian’s arms gave out. He let Jun down onto his feet. Jun blinked up at him. He wasn’t much shorter than Damian but just enough that he had to turn his face up to look into Damian’s eyes.
“When did you start learning to be a dom? Is there someone else?”
“Richard started teaching me some things years back without me even realizing it, but he only started formally teaching me a few months ago.”
“Why?”
Damian opened his mouth and closed it. Communication with Jun really had been shit. So many stories only half told, so many texts left on read. And when they met, such a rush to just be together, to give Jun the moments of intimacy and touch he desperately craved.
“You, Jun. I knew I wanted to be worthy of you.”
Jun blinked hard, his eyes losing focus over Damian’s shoulder. He swallowed twice and turned around, took a few steps, and then dropped down on a large rock next to the path. “You…want…to be my dom.”
“Yes.” The wind was actually cold now without Jun wrapped around him. Being outside in December in Seoul in nothing but some Under Armour and a button-down shirt was not the most brilliant idea when he wasn’t running.
“You… You woke something up inside of me when we met.” Damian dropped his eyes and looked away. How was he supposed to say this now? There was too much going on. Jun had too much on his plate. The power imbalance was supersized.
But when he looked back, his song dragon was staring him down, demanding the truth with a ringing silence. But there were so many terms, so much knowledge that was as familiar as breathing to him but foreign to Jun. So many conversations that had been stolen from them. He needed words that bypassed tradition and spoke to the heart, to instinct.
“You…you let me hold you. You fell asleep in my arms. When we were together, you…you made me strong. The trust you gave me, you humbled me. You… you were so bright and swirling and on fire. I wanted you to burn, not out but bright. I wanted, I still want, I do want, to be the solidness under your feet. Those nights, when you could finally sleep, I want that over and over again. That’s what Hypatia is for Mathew. That’s what Richard has been for me. That’s what I want to be for you.”
“You’re talking about a relationship, Damian. A real one. Not a secret affair or a fling, a relationship.”
“Yes.”
“I told you that was something I could never give you, not in the next few years, maybe not for decades.”
“I know.”
Jun was looking at Damian with dark, hurt eyes. “I told you, Damian. If you’re in love with me, if you think I can…” He looked away, breathing deep, his fingers gripping the rock between his knees. “I don’t want to go from one cage to another, Da.”
“I want you uncaged.”
“But you want me to submit to you, to be in a relationship with you. If you’re only here because you thought my job wasn’t in the way anymore, I need you to say that right now, because if that’s the case, this is over. I’m not…I can’t…that’s…”
Damian dropped to one knee in front of Jun. Maybe someone would stare or take a picture, although not many were going to see them here in the shadows. He’d deal with the fallout later. He didn’t touch Jun. That would be too much.
“Do I look caged to you, Jun? Have I ever appeared caged?”
“No.” Tears were burning in Jun’s dark eyes. He seemed almost ready to run again, but his body sagged with a tiredness he wasn’t going to easily shake off.
