Page 62 of Cowboy Seeks Husband
“Thanks, Ben. For everything. You’re a good guy.”
Ben nodded once, lips tightening until they went pale. Roan steeled himself, then slipped upstairs to go hide in the bedroom. He couldn’t take it anymore. The whole reason he’d wanted to stay on was to get to know Walker, and he’d barely seen him the whole last week.
He did some calculations in his head. Yes, if he went home tomorrow night, he’d have enough. Not as much as they really needed, but enough to get his mom into the drug trial, hopefully. And he could be with her again, making sure she was okay, keeping them both going with the power of his love and hope.
Closing his eyes, a tear slipped out and down his cheek and he made up his mind. Tomorrow night, at the next horseshoe ceremony, he’d volunteer to leave. He’d save it for the last minute. It’d be good TV. His original reasons for being here had been satisfied and his secondary reason wasn’t holding up.
It was time to call it quits and get back to his mama. It was time to say goodbye to fantasies and butterflies in the stomach. It was time to give up the pretense that he could ever be anything real to Walker.
Roan, will youstay here with me another week?
Roan stared down at the horseshoe in his hand and tried to figure out how his plan to quit the show tonight had gone so wrong. Maybe it had been the twinkle in Walker’s eye when he asked or the way he’d leaned so close, smelling of a refreshing aftershave, and whispered his apology.
Sorry about this week, little lion. Next week will be better for us. I promise.
Or maybe it had been the way Walker reached out and thumbed his chin gently, gazing at his mouth with a hot look of longing before smiling wickedly and backing away. Whatever it’d been, Roan had sputtered out a, “Yes, of course,” and now here he was blinking into the bright lights of his post-ceremony, one-on-one interview with Luke.
“We’re nearly ready,” the producer, John, said, nodding at them.
Kylie came and touched up Luke’s face, then looked at Roan. “Oh, you’re all shiny. Hold on.” She pulled out more brushes, fluttered them over Roan’s face until he sneezed, and left again.
“Ready.” Luke cleared his throat. The camera guy gave him a nod and said they were rolling. “Roan, how are you doing tonight?”
“Great,” Roan said, feeling awkward. “Happy to still be here.”
Was he? He didn’t know anymore. He’d been so sure he should volunteer to go home, but now he couldn’t help being dazzled, thrilled even, to have been Walker’s first choice.
“How does it feel to be given the first horseshoe again this week?”
Roan reached to scratch his face, but Luke shook his head minutely, and Roan put his hand back in his lap. “It was a complete shock. But good, I guess?”
“You guess? Aren’t you happy to be here still?”
“Yeah. Of course. I just—” He heaved out a sigh and squirmed. “This is all just…a lot, you know?”
Luke smiled kindly.
John said, “Just relax, you’re doing fine. We’re going to talk a little bit here, deepen the storyline on you a bit since you’ve made it to the halfway point now. Luke will ask you some personal things. Of course it’s up to you if you want to answer them. We know you’re going through a tough time.”
“Right.” Roan narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
Luke launched into it then. “How’s your mom?”
Roan clenched his fists but kept his voice steady. “She’s hanging in there.”
He hoped she was, anyway.
Luke nodded, his eyes soft. “I’m glad to hear that. You found out she had cancer a year ago?”
“We did.” He gave in. What did it matter that he talked about this on the show? It wouldn’t air for a long time. By then his mom might not even—
He closed his eyes. “It was pretty advanced by the time they caught it. She went through a few rounds of chemo and radiation, but it didn’t help for long.”
Luke looked sincerely sad. Roan wondered if he truly was. It made his own throat tighten. “But there’s a drug trial that might help her, you said?”
“Yes. It costs a lot of money. Plus the medical bills from the past year have added up. She can’t work, and I…” Roan cleared his throat. He wouldnotcry. “I need to help her.”
“And that’s why you’re here.”
