Page 31 of Cowboy Seeks Husband
Ben lifted his head and stared at Walker. He seemed to be at war with himself for a minute, then he sighed and looked away. “I knocked up a girl when I was sixteen. We married really young. My kid’s twenty now, would you believe it?” He laughed humorlessly. “It wasn’t until much later that I realized…”
“You were gay?” Walker prompted when Ben didn’t go on, then remembered there were other options, too, and added, “Or bi?”
Ben winced a little. He had a small scar on his left cheek, a few pockmarks from long ago. Walker realized the original acne had probably still been there when he’d become a dad. Jesus. Poor guy.
“Bi, yeah,” Ben said. “We got divorced a few years ago. It hasn’t been easy. She was the one who suggested I sign up for this show.” He shook his head and laughed again, sounding embarrassed. “She thinks I’m actually more into guys.”
“And what do you think?”
Ben rubbed his neck again and stared into the pasture. “I don’t know.”
“Ben.” Walker waited until he made eye contact. “Have you ever been with a man before?”
Slow, dark blotches appeared at the edges of Ben’s jawline. “A few hookups, behind bars and in alleys. Man, am I a walking cliché or what? But that’s it. I’ve never…had a relationship or anything.” He looked at his hands and very quietly added, “Or kissed a guy.”
Oh,Lord.
Walker tried to not find that idea appealing. And failed.
All the otherone-on-one conversations were a lot less interesting, apart from Victor’s, who intimidated the crap out of him. He had a whip sharp wit and a gaze that seemed to see right through him.If he believes I’m in this to find true love for even a second, Walker thought,I’m a toad. It made him feel a little ashamed and uncomfortable, and he wished he hadn’t agreed to this damn show all over again.
His step-mama was right about one thing, though, the contestants loved to talk about themselves.
Everyone but Roan.
Walker didn’t know why, really, but he’d kept Roan for last. By the time Roan joined him by the oak tree the sun had shifted and they had to lean against the other side to find some shade. It made the conversation awkward since they both faced the cameras full on.
“How old are you?” Walker asked. “I read your bio, but I can’t remember everyone’s details, sorry.”
“Oh God no, don’t be sorry. I can barely remember everyone’s names and I’ve spent a lot more time with them than you have. Um. I’m twenty-seven.”
Walker’s eyebrows flew up. A disbelieving, “Really?” was out before he could stop it. Roan’s jaw tightened.
“Yes, I know I look young. But really. I can show you my driver’s license, if you like.”
Walker tipped his hat a bit more over his eyes. “No, it’s fine.”
“Shit,” Roan whispered so quietly Walker doubted the fluffy microphone hovering over their heads would pick it up. That’s what the body mics were for, he supposed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap like that. I’m really hot, and I didn’t sleep because of the storms the last few nights and—”
“You don’t like thunderstorms?” Who didn’t like thunderstorms? He loved them. They cooled everything off. “Because we get a lot of them. Really, a lot.”
“No, I don’t mind them generally, it’s just that I never knew they could be so violent before.” Roan shivered a little.
“Ah.” Okay, that was kind of cute. Walker wanted to sling a reassuring arm around the kid and tell him it was all right. “You’re from Ohio?”
“Yes.”
Walker waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. “And your bio said you’re a grad student?”
“Yes.” His jaw tightened again, the muscles in the sides flexing.
“Okay, then.” Walker laughed under his breath. “Look, if you don’t want to talk to me, you don’t have to.”
“It’s not that.” Roan straightened and moved away from the tree so he had his back to the camera. The Steadicam guys moved around to get his expression. “Listen, I don’t know if it said this in my bio, or if they took it out, or whatever, but I’m—Iwasan environmental engineering grad student. But that doesn’t mean that I’m here for the potential drama, okay? I know beef cattle ranches are important for the American economy and that you all work really hard. I’ve even learned about some of the things you ranchers do to help the environment, and I think that’s really great.” He snapped his mouth shut and looked away.
Roan had a really pretty profile. A sharp Adam’s apple, strong jaw, but soft lips and long, dark eyelashes hiding hazel eyes. His hair gel had succumbed to the heat and the longer black hair on top curled frizzily. Walker wanted to bury his fingers in it, muss it up even more.
Roan had his hands stuffed in his jeans, making his narrow hips jut out and showing a strip of pale belly with a surprisingly thick line of dark treasure trail showing. His pink Henley had sweat stains under the armpits. Walker suppressed the sudden urge to step closer and find out what he smelled like. Or what those nipple piercings felt like.
