Page 93 of Cowboy Seeks Husband
Walker spun around to find Roan waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He was wearing his typical skinny jeans, but this time with a comfortable sweater over it, the neck too stretched and slipping over one shoulder. Something ached inside Walker. He would’ve wanted to get to know this comfortable Roan, the one out of his designer clothes. From the corner of his eye, he saw John nod at Andy that they’d started filming, but he didn’t care.
“I’m so sorry about your mom,” Walker said, taking Roan’s hands in his. “I really am. I hope she’s okay when you get there. If there’s anything—” Walker shook his head. What could he possibly do from a thousand miles away. “For what it’s worth, I understand. Why you came on the show, I mean. And I don’t blame you. Like I said out on that trail, we all had our reasons. I agreed to this whole ridiculous circus because we need the money too. I just hope…” He trailed off, afraid to put it out there. He didn’t need to.
Roan’s dark eyes were shimmering and a little puffy, like he’d been sobbing upstairs, but he wasn’t crying anymore. “That it wasn’t all fake?” he whispered. He squeezed Walker’s hands. “It wasn’t. Not for me.”
Walker opened his mouth to say it wasn’t for him either, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“Car’s here,” someone said from the doorway, and Roan took a step back.
Walker let go.
“Let’s get this over with,” Roan said to Andy and turned toward the living room. Walker watched as he said wooden goodbyes to the other suitors while the cameras looked on. The only ones who got a bit more time were Chad and Ben. But he shouldn’t have been surprised, he supposed. The inter-contestant love story between Roan and Ben was no doubt going to be edited in and sold to viewers as added drama. He followed Roan out of the door, and when they reached the porch, Roan put his bags down and turned around. Someone stepped up and took the bags to the waiting Range Rover.
“So,” Roan said, clearing his throat as he stared at the wooden slats under his feet. “Thank you. For everything. It was great getting to know you. And you have a beautiful ranch here.”
Walker stared at him, and the ache that had begun to bloom in his chest spread like all over. “Roan,” he whispered, but Roan moved away from him, shaking his head infinitesimally as he created distance between them. Physically and emotionally. Walker faltered. “I…it was good to have you here.” He drew a complete blank, not knowing what to say while his brain screamed,I don’t want you to go, and I want to come with you. “Let me know how you’re doing? And about your mom?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Roan whispered. His bottom lip trembled a little, and he quickly stepped into Walker’s space, hugged him fast, and was gone. Walker wanted to yank him back, to kiss him breathless, to say whatever Roan needed to hear, but he didn’t. Roan obviously didn’t want a goodbye like that, and the least Walker could do was respect his wishes.
“Bye,” Walker said softly, even though Roan was long out of earshot. Vaguely aware of being filmed the whole time, Walker stood on the porch watching until the Range Rover disappeared into the sunset.
Andy had wanted a lonesome cowboy pining for love as his star, hadn’t he?
Well, he’d gotten what he wanted after all.
