Page 69 of Juke
The words hit the room like a bomb. Silence fell so heavy you could hear a pin drop. All three of them froze with wide eyes.
“Pregnant!” Nic squealed, damn near jumping off the couch.
“Oooh, bitch!” Mel clapped her hands together.
Kasha gasped and reached over to grab my arm. “Soph, are you serious?”
“Yeah. I found out last week.”
“When are you due? Did you go to the doctor yet?” Mel asked, firing off question after question.
“Not yet,” I admitted. “It’s still early. I just… I’ve been holding it in.”
“Why?” Nic squinted in my direction. “You haven’t told him yet?”
“No… not yet.”
“Why not?” Kasha asked, her voice gentle but firm.
I sighed, rubbing my palms on my thighs. “Because I don’t know if he even wants kids. I don’t want to spring this on him, and it not be what he wants.”
They all looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
Mel spoke up first. “Girl… did y’all ever use protection?”
“No…” I shook my head slowly.
“Then what the hell are you scared of?” Mel threw her hands up. “If he wasn’t ready, he wouldn’t be fuckin’ you raw. So, he better get ready. I’ll tussle with his big ass.”
“I’m just happy somebody’s pregnant with me this time.” Nic grinned.
That made us all laugh, even though my nerves were all over the place.
“Sophi, listen to me.” Kasha squeezed my hand. “You are not alone in this. No matter what happens, we’re family, and we got you. We’re walking with you through all of it.”
I blinked fast to keep the tears I’d been fighting all week from finally falling. These women… my cousins… my friends, weren’t letting me face this by myself. Even though fear still twisted in my gut, for the first time since I saw those two pink lines, I didn’t feel so alone. But what if they were wrong? What if Rashad saw me as baggage now, weighed down with more than he bargained for? I tried shaking the thought off, but it still lingered. The what-ifs were still dangling around me.
***
I’ve been home for a few hours now, and I was currently curled up on the couch with the TV on but not really paying it any attention. My mind was too loud to focus. Every tick of the clock felt like it was dragging me closer to a truth I couldn’t keep from him forever. The door opened, and Rashad swaggered in looking like he knew he was that nigga. He dressed simple in a pair of gray sweats and a white t-shirt, but he made it look good. He dropped his bag by the couch before he leaned down, pressing a kiss against my lips like he’d been waiting to do that all day.
“Missed you,” he murmured.
“I missed you too,” I countered, as a small smile spread across my face.
“How was your day?”
“It was aight.” He shrugged. “It was busy for a minute. Worked with a couple kids before I got some rounds in myself. After that, I stopped by my mama’s before I came home. She asked about you.”
That made my cheeks warm. “That’s sweet.”
“Yeah… you’re out here making good impressions and shit.” He smirked.
While he was still rambling about his day, all I could do was nod, and pretend to listen, but my head was somewhere else. The girls’ words were weighing heavy on me. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I just blurted it out like I did with the girls.
“I’m pregnant.”
He froze mid-sentence, staring at me like he wasn’t sure he heard right. The silence stretched, while my heart was pounding a mile a minute.
