Page 6 of Juke
“You fuckin’ stupid or something?” I didn’t answer. That was always the safest bet, but not tonight. He gripped my hair and slammed me against the fridge. My teeth rattled and my breathing shallowed.
“I asked you a question, bitch!”
“I said sorry.” I whimpered since he still had a tight grip on my hair.
His fist hit the refrigerator inches from my head. I flinched, and that was a mistake. He hated when I flinched. He said it made him feel like a monster… like he wasn’t. He shoved me hard enough that I slipped on the glass. I felt the sting on my thigh, blood mixing with cold tile. He stood over me, breathing heavy. He crouched beside me, wiped a tear off my cheek, and kissed my forehead. “You make me act like this,” he whispered. “You break things. You don’t listen. But I love you. You just don’t know how to be loved right.”
And I believed him. For way too long… I believed him.
Mel pulling me into a hug brought me back to the present. I didn’t realize I was crying until she wiped my face.
“You’re surviving,” she said as she wiped my tears. “And you’re healing, even if it doesn’t feel like it.”
I pulled back and wiped my eyes. “He used to lock me in the bathroom. Beat me if I didn’t say ‘thank you’ quick enough. Once, I tried to leave… and he choked me ’til I passed out. When I woke up, he had undressed me, cleaned me up, and was cooking like it didn’t even happen.”
The looks on their faces said it all. They felt sorry for me, but I didn’t want their pity. I wanted my sanity.
“I was so fuckin’ stuck. I stayed because I didn’t think I had a way out. I thought it was better to be hurt in private than be judged in public.”
“You ain’t gotta explain that to us,” Kasha said firmly.
“I just… I don’t wanna be scared anymore. I don’t wanna keep looking over my shoulder. But I can’t shake this feeling.”
“You don’t gotta carry it alone,” Mel said. “You never did. We got you. You hear me?”
I nodded slowly. “Rashad’s been checking in on me. He doesn’t say much, just… shows up. Whether it’s a quick text or call. He makes sure I’m good.”
Nic tilted her head. “That man moves like a shadow, but his eyes stay open. He cares more than he lets on.”
“I know,” I admitted. “But I haven’t told him any specifics. I don’t even know how to start.”
“Start when you’re ready,” Kasha said. “But don’t shut him out. If he makes you feel safe… let him.”
I didn’t answer right away. Just stared down at my lap and tried to slow my breathing.Because safe… that’s something I hadn’t felt in a long time. And with Rashad? It was the first time I even thought it might be possible. As if he could sense I was thinking about him, a text came through.
Rashad: You good?
Yeah… at Mel’s.
Rashad: Aight. I’ll be at ya spot when you get there.
Ok.
I didn’t even realize I smiled until I looked up and caught all three of them watching me.
“Oohh.” Nic grinned like she just caught me doing something I wasn’t supposed to be doing. “That’s him?”
“Mhmm. Juke checking in, huh?” Mel smirked.
“Text got you over there cheesing like a schoolgirl.” Kasha interjected with a smirk of her own.
I rolled my eyes and set my phone down, trying to play it off. “Y’all annoying.”
“That’s not a no.” Nic teased. “So, what is it then? He’s checking for you or what?”
“No,” I said too fast, not believing my own words.
“Girl, please,” Mel laughed. “Stop playing. We see the way that man looks at you, even if you don’t”
