Page 76 of Mafiosa
From a million years ago.
Aren’t you glad I have no respect for your authority?
I held it between us and stared at it, my fingers shaking.
‘I’m always thinking about you,’ he said, his voice resigned. ‘I’m just trying to make it right, Soph.’
I looked up at him. ‘You kept my note?’
‘Yeah. I did.’
I could sense he was embarrassed, so I folded the note up and handed it back to him. He slipped it into his wallet and stashed it in the back of his jeans. I didn’t want to argue with him any more, about this, about anything. He was too important to me. I just wanted to see him smile and hear him laugh. I just wanted to be near him. When I was around Luca, my heart opened a crack, and I became less afraid of my true feelings. Sometimes people pretend they’re listening, butreally they’re waiting for a gap in conversation to say something about themselves, or until you are finished talking about your sadness so they can move on to brighter topics. Lucareallylistened to me. He really cared.
‘I don’t want to fight with you,’ I said.
‘I don’t want to fight with you either.’
I made the mistake of trying to hold his gaze. It shot right through me, into my heart.
‘Truce?’ I said, my voice ragged with a sudden flare of desire.
‘Truce.’
‘You know, you’re very confusing, Luca,’ I said softly. ‘I feel like I need a cheat sheet sometimes. I never know what you’re thinking or what you want.’
The whisper of a smile spread across his lips. A beat of silence, and then he came a little closer. ‘Do you want to know what I want, Sophie?’
I nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘I want to kiss you.’
I swallowed hard. ‘Then why don’t you?’
He didn’t move. ‘Because I’m not supposed to.’
I hesitated a beat too long, distracted by the raucous thudding in my chest. He straightened up, as if remembering himself, and took a step away from me. Then another one. He regained his composure, wiped the look of indecision from his face, and cleared his throat.
I came towards him. ‘You think too much, Luca.’
‘Yes,’ he said.
‘You’re used to making all the decisions.’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, there’s two of us in this, you know.’
‘Yes.’
‘Then I’ll decide.’ A rush of desire seized me, and before I could stop myself, I was grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him towards me. He responded instantly, wrapping his arms around my waist, his body curving against mine as he walked me backwards with him.
‘Yes.’ He spun me into the alcove halfway down the hall, his hand pressing against the small of my back, the other grabbing the back of my head. He crushed his lips to mine and I opened my mouth to let him in, and when his tongue brushed against mine, I could taste his need as keenly as my own. He ran his fingers through my hair, pulling me tighter against him. I wound my hands around his neck, ignoring the flicker of pain in my shoulder and pushing up on to my tiptoes so I could taste every part of him, so I could feel how much he wanted me.
He pulled back, panting, his fingers tracing my lips as he caught his breath. Our foreheads were pressed together. I smiled beneath his touch and he kissed the corner of my mouth.
‘More,’ I whispered.
A groan caught in his throat. ‘More,’ he said, pressing his lips to mine. The entire concept of time was obliterated as we stood moulded to each other inside that alcove, kissing and gasping for breath. I forgot where I was, and with every press of his tongue on mine, the darkness inside me seemed to shatter, just a little.
