Page 20 of Mafiosa
My phone buzzed. I cancelled the call.
Millie blew wisps of chestnut-brown hair from her face, pouting. ‘Fine.’
My phone buzzed again.Cancel.
‘You clearly have enough crap going on,’ she said, flicking her gaze to my lap, where Luca’s number was blowing up my screen. ‘Are you going to answer that?’
I eyed the phone with contempt. ‘No.’
‘I thought you said he wasn’t talking to you.’
‘That was before I sneaked out without a chaperone.’
Millie turned the radio down until it was a low hum between us. Her voice changed, tinges of reverence slipping into it now. ‘Does he know where you’re going today?’
‘Of course not.’
A text flashed on screen:
Where have you gone? This is NOT funny.
I flipped the phone over and turned it on silent. ‘Why would I invite Luca?’
‘Because he was there when it happened,’ she said softly. ‘I think he would want to be there for you today.’
‘Why? To keep an eye on me? Can I not evengrievein private?’
Millie flinched. ‘No, just to betherefor you. Like he was… after it happened.’
I shut my eyes, the memory of Luca’s arms around me rushing in. I remembered how safe I had felt with him, how gentle he was with me, the feel of his lips against my hair, his thumbs wiping tears from my cheeks. I remembered his heartbeat thudding against mine, and how sure I had been, in the dusky quiet of my room all those weeks ago, that it meant something real. I had never felt so close to someone before. I had never felt soseen.
How could I have been so wrong?
I shook my head. ‘He wouldn’t care, Mil. Trust me, his mind is on other things now. And besides, this day isn’t about him. It’s about my mom.’
‘I know,’ she said softly. ‘We’ll give her the goodbye she deserves.’
I looked out the window, at flashes of familiarity – at the open road that was taking me home, back to Cedar Hill.
‘Are you ready?’ she asked.
No. I’m not ready. I’m never going to be ready.
I closed my eyes and imagined the mask shifting into place. A smile painted over a frown. Bright eyes to hide the tears. ‘Yes,’ I lied. ‘I’m ready.’
I turned the radio back up. Taylor Swift filled the silence. There were no words for that moment, nothing to take away the sting of where we were going, of what today meant. Millie reached over and clasped my hand in hers.
‘Thank you, Mil.’
‘Of course,’ she said, her voice cracking. I made sure not to turn my head because if I saw the tears streaming downher face, then I’d lose the flicker of composure that was holding me together. I needed that, just for today. Just for goodbye.
CHAPTER EIGHTUNINVITED GUESTS
‘Where’s your mom’s car? Did you take it to the Falcones with you?’
‘Maybe it’s in the auto shop or something,’ I brushed Millie’s questions off as we pulled up outside my house. The familiarity was not a welcome one. The empty driveway taunted me: Donata’s cronies had been here. ‘This is tough.’
‘I know,’ she said, leaning her head on my shoulder. ‘I’ll come in with you. We don’t have to stay long. Just get what you need.’
