Page 6 of Mafiosa
I kept my voice at level pitch. ‘That’s what Valentino said at the initiation. We all agreed, remember?’
‘I didn’t agree,’ he said, pointedly.
‘Well, he outranks you.’
‘I don’t care,’ he said, unruffled. ‘There’s no way in this life or any other that you are holding a gun to anyone’s head and pulling the trigger.’
How cavalierly he seemed to control my life, how strange he seemed to find it that I would expect to be treated just like the rest of them. ‘Oh, really?’ I said. ‘Well, what do you expect to happen when my uncle and Donata finally crawl back into the world? Do you really think I’m going to stand by and do nothing?’
Luca raked his hands through his hair, pulling the unruly black strands away from his face so he could ensnare me with that hypnotizing azure gaze. It felt almost deliberate, like he knew how paralysing it was. ‘Sophie, I think there has been some confusion between us on this matter.’
I tried to keep my voice level. ‘And that would be?’
‘I didn’t let you stay here because you promised to kill your uncle, I let you stay because you had nowhere else to go and I was worried about you.’
‘But even Nic said he would help me. He promised we would—’
‘I’m not Nicolò,’ he cut in.
‘I know that,’ I said. ‘But he—’
‘The decision wasn’t his. It was mine.’
‘And Valentino’s.’
‘Mine,’ he said simply, without elaborating.
All this time I had thought I’d bargained my way in that day I showed up on their doorstep, but here Luca was, telling me the reason I was sitting before him now was out of pity. It twisted inside me – this feeling of uselessness, of weakness, of the idea that my grief had not made me strong or capable, butpitiable.
‘You expect me to sit tight while they send things to this house that directly threaten me, while they call me out like they did today? What if Iwantto harm them? What if Iwantto actuallycontributeto this family?’
‘I said no.’
‘Then why have a damn initiation at all?’ I snapped. ‘Why waste my time?’
‘To keep you safe,’ he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I gaped at him, flinging my arm out in the direction of the driveway. ‘Doyoufeel safe right now? Doesanyone?’
A shadow flitted behind his eyes, so quick I might not have noticed if I wasn’t searching them so intently. ‘Not just from the Marinos,’ he said, after a beat.
‘From the rest of you, you mean.’
He didn’t say anything, but we were both thinking it.From Felice.
‘Luca, I want to prove myse—’
‘I said no,’ he cut in.
‘Don’t pull rank on me,’ I fumed.
He took a step towards me, enough that I had to tilt my chin to look up at him. I watched the hardened edge of muscle in his arms, the thick heel of his boots as he ground them into the floorboards. ‘Of course I’ll pull rank on you. I’m the underboss of this family.’
‘I don’t care what your role is. I’m not going to bow to you, so you shouldn’t expect it.’
‘Dio mi aiuti.’ He shut his eyes tight. ‘You, Sophie Marino, are single-handedly aging me before my time.’
Had I really been psyching myself up for nothing? For how much longer was I expected to be a spectator in my own life? How much longer would I feel the squirming, guilt-ridden uselessness of my role in my mother’s death? ‘It’s not up to you. It’s up to Valentino. I’m going to prove myself to this family, and then I’m going to avenge my mother.’ I got to my feet, cutting the height difference in half, determined to make him understand. ‘This is my cause too. This is my vendetta.’
