Page 47 of Mafiosa
I told myself it was different. I didn’t know Libero. He had never wronged me directly. His only crime was looking like Sara, and his face reminded me of how I had failed her. I couldn’t shoot him because it would be another betrayal. I owed Sara – I convinced myself that that was why I hesitated.
On the other, bloodier hand, I definitely wanted to shoot Jack. I had slashed a blade across his eye without the slightest hint of freezing, so when he did resurface, it wasn’t going to be a problem. I told myself that over and over again, hoping that if I said it enough times then it would become true.
I finished two bowls of Lucky Charms and washed up, enjoying the morning silence. I was even considering reading a book in the library to take my mind off everything. I wanted to lie low – at least from Valentino – while the lie worked itself into my bones, and I started to believe that I deserved to be here. I made my way down the hallway, appreciating the quiet while it lasted. In about two hours, Dom and Gino would be making enough racket for a small concert hall and Nic would probably come search me out for more target practice.
I padded down the hallway, following the faint sound of voices wafting through the house. I paused with my hand on the door to the sitting room, already ajar, and pushed just a little. It yielded easily, and I peered around it.
Felice was bent over himself, his words muffled by his fingers.
Paulie was beside him, perched on the armrest of the couch, one hand clapped on his brother’s back. ‘… time and time again. You have to let him lead the way he sees fit.’
Felice rolled his head around, venom oozing from his voice. ‘He is a child, Paulie. He will derail this family.’
Paulie sighed. ‘Killing Libero was the right choice strategically. And to have a Marino do it… well.’
‘Nonsense,’ Felice spat. ‘The whole thing is off. He has hissoldatiwrapped up in cotton wool – all of us barricaded in the same place.’
‘I think,’ said Paulie, edging lower, on his hunkers now, so he could look at Felice straight on, ‘perhaps you are indulging a little too hard right now.’
‘Stai zitto,’ Felice hissed like a rattlesnake. ‘You know why I’m drinking.’ He dropped his head back and closed his eyes at the ceiling. ‘I. Hate. This. Time. Of. Year.’
‘I know it’s hard for you, but self-medicating is not helping,’ Paulie said. ‘You’re not angry with Valentino.’
Felice waved Paulie’s words away, almost swatting his brother on the cheek.
‘You’re mad because she left you,’ Paulie added, his voice turning soft.
‘Say it,’ said Felice, looking at the mantelpiece, at a photo of him and Evelina laughing and toasting each other withchampagne on their wedding day. I edged backwards, pressing myself against the wall so I was hidden behind the door. ‘Say the rest.’
‘Brother…’
‘She’s not coming back.’ He cursed. ‘She’s never coming back.’
‘It’s been a long time.’
How long ago had she been taken from him? How long did a broken heart last? I thought of my own grief, the constant ebb of it at the edges of my awareness. It hadn’t lessened; I had just accommodated it. It was part of me now – this blur of sadness. Maybe in five years’ time, I would be like Felice. Still angry, still questioning… still baying for revenge. His mask was almost perfect. Maybe mine would be too.
‘I want to see my child,’ Felice said.
‘Look forward.’
‘I built her a palace,’ said Felice. His voice was vibrating with emotion – it was strange to see him so vulnerable, to see beneath that carefully polished veneer of his. ‘I gave her the world and she walked away from it without so much as agoodbye.’
‘Look to the future.’ Paulie gripped his brother’s arm, but Felice wasn’t even looking at him now, he was looking at his expensive shoes.
‘It was Angelo’s fault,’ he said quietly.
I caught my gasp on the palm of my hand. Did he know Evelina was dead? Did he really think his own brother killed her? If only he knew the truth. If he knew about my dad, or the safe, or the ring…
I told myself to leave, to get the hell out of that roombefore he caught me spying, but I had never seen Felice so… vulnerable, and I was compelled by it.
‘I know he helped her to leave. I know he convinced her.’
‘No.’ Paulie was shaking his head. ‘He would never do that to you.’
‘We’ll never know,’ said Felice bitterly. ‘We’ll never know what he did with her.’
‘You are talking nonsense.’
