Page 107 of Mafiosa
The chasm in my chest peeled open again. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Yes, you do,’ said Millie. ‘You understand perfectly well.’
There was a hint of scolding in her voice. I knew thatbeneath her sympathy and worry she was angry with me. I had been reckless. I had gone after something that was never going to cure me or make me feel better. I had lied to her. I had put myself in danger.
‘It’s a miracle that you’re still alive,’ she said. ‘You realize that, don’t you?’
I nodded, barely aware of the tears sliding soundlessly down my cheeks.
‘Staying here is no longer an option.’
I stared at my own scuffed Converse.
‘It’s madness,’ she said. ‘I’m not leaving here without you.’
I looked at her again – I had never seen her so serious, so determined.
‘I’m pulling you out, Soph,’ she said. ‘You can come willingly, or you can come by your hair, but this world you’re living in is about to implode and this life is not for you. I know you know that. Choose to recognize it. Please.’ Desperation broke into her last word. Her eyes were filling up. ‘Please,’ she said again. ‘Choose life. Choose happiness.’
‘I don’t know how, Mil,’ I whispered. The tears were falling freely on to my neck, sliding inside my collar and turning to pinpricks of ice.
‘Try,’ she pleaded. ‘Forgive yourself.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You can,’ she insisted. ‘Forgive yourself.’
I shook my head.
She grabbed it in her hands. ‘Look at me,’ she demanded. ‘There is no life here, Sophie. Only death. Only grief. You are more than your pain. You are more than your loss. You are more than your mindset.’
I grabbed her hands and kept them in mine.
‘You know you have to go,’ she told me. ‘You know that, don’t you?’
I did know. I knew the minute we left Donata Marino’s house.
I nodded, slowly, reluctantly. ‘But where?’ I asked her. ‘I can’t stay with you, not while the Marino family are still active. The Falcones are moving to another safe house, and I don’t have anyone else. No one who would be willing to hide me…’ I trailed off, feeling nothing but despair. ‘I’m lost.’
‘You have to trust your father,’ she said firmly.
‘What?’
She reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope. ‘I stopped by my house on the way back from the cottage this morning. This was waiting for me. It’s a letter from your father.’ She thrust it towards me.
I took it with shaking hands. My father’s last written words. And they were to my best friend. I opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.
Millie,
I’m sorry to have to put you in this position, but you’re the only person I trust to deliver this message. With Celine gone, Sophie has tied herself to the wrong people. She is now an official Marino target.
I expect soon I will be caught or killed. I know what I have to do. I am going to take the threat away from Sophie. Today, on Christmas Day, I will go to Donata Marino’s house and remove her from power. I will remove my brother too, and face whatever punishment comes with it.
If I am unsuccessful, the Marino family will rebuild itself. In this case, I need you to send Sophie away. There is someone at the address below who will hide her until she is free to be herself again.
Sophie trusts you more than anyone. She will listen to you. Please, keep her safe. Do what I couldn’t do. Take her out of this life, before it’s too late. Give her this address, and when it’s done, burn this letter and erase all traces of it from your memory.
If she will hear it, tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I love her.
