Page 61 of Inferno
I slunk to the ground, resting my head just above the seat. Luca kept the gun cocked in his hand, his eyes narrowed at the rear-view mirror. He opened the window, and the sound of hollering filled up the car.
My knees were shaking against the floor, my hands gripping the seats so tight my fingers had turned white.
‘Don’t get up,’ he warned. ‘Whatever happens, don’t get up.’
The erratic car overtook the one directly behind us. I couldhear it even though I couldn’t see it. The shouting got louder. Luca pulled towards the side of the road, his jaw clenched tight. He was watching the side-view mirror, then over his shoulder, gun outstretched as he pulled the window down, and then… and then it was over.
The car behind us backfired, chugged and sped up, leaving the sound of five frat boys laughing and shouting in its wake as it passed us.
Luca pulled his firing arm back.‘Dio.’He stowed his gun down the side of his seat and fell back against the headrest as he eased us into the middle of the highway again. I crawled back up, one hand clutched over my heart, the other dug firmly into the armrest between us.
‘Oh my God,’ I gasped. ‘I really thought we were dead.’
Luca’s knuckles were marble-white against the steering wheel. ‘I thought it was…’ His words caught in his throat, and he cleared it, shaking his head so that his hair fell across his eyes. He swept it back, leaving his hand on his face, and sliding it down across his lips. ‘I thought it was the Marinos,’ he said, his voice muffled by his fingers.
‘So did I,’ I breathed.
This was the first time I had seen concern etched so freely across his face, and it made my stomach twist with fear for what was to come, not just for me but for all of us. That was a test run – a false alarm – but it was a very real reminder of the kind of world now moving around me. His world. His fate.
‘In an alternative universe, we could both be dead right now,’ I realized.
‘Don’t say things like that.’
I looked at my hands, feeling the weight of everythingpressing down on me again.
Luca eased off the highway at the next exit and pulled into the parking lot of a Dunkin’ Donuts. ‘Coffee,’ he said, scrubbing his hand across his forehead. ‘I need a gallon.’
Adrenalin had surged through every part of me, and now it was seeping away, making me shake as I tried to centre myself. It was strange. We almost died. And yet, there was no danger, not really, in the end. I felt stupid for overreacting, and yet at the same time I felt lucky to be alive.
‘Sophie?’ We were in the drive-through line and Luca was staring at me.
‘Hmm?’ My smile felt watery.
‘What do you want?’
Oh, I dunno. To live a life where I’m not constantly expecting the untimely deaths of those around me.‘Nothing,’ I said, half scanning the menu outside without reading it. ‘I’m fine.’
Luca’s voice darkened. ‘You’re not fine.’
I pinched my fingers to give myself something to do. My heart was still ramming against my ribcage. I was still thinking about the gun Luca had pulled out, about the car that had sped by us. ‘I’m just having a moment.’
Luca scanned the menu as we inched by it, one hand on the wheel, the other elbow propped on the open window frame. ‘OK,’ he said. ‘I’m going to make an executive decision and get you a doughnut with rainbow sprinkles, because you seem like somebody who would like that.’
I felt a white-hot flash of indignation. If he was trying to skirt over the bizarre-ness of what had just happened, patronizing me was not going to help.
‘I’m not a child,’ I said. ‘You don’t have to get me anything.’
I was feeling the dim heat of embarrassment flaming in my cheeks. Luca had been prepared to defend us both with his life just now on the highway, and me? I’d been crouching like a scared rat beneath the glove compartment. What the hell was wrong with me? How long would it take for my legs to stop feeling like jelly? I had seen so much already. I should have been braver, stronger. But I was a coward. I was useless.
We pulled up to the window and the smell of freshly baked dough wafted towards me. I clutched at my stomach to stop the growl and was reminded with a sharp pang that I wasstarving. Dammit, I wanted that doughnut. But I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve anything. I was so sick of cowering.
‘You should eat something.’
I was too angry with myself to respond. I shrugged and directed my gaze out the window while he ordered.
A couple of minutes later, we were on the highway again. Luca was drinking his coffee like it was water. The radio was on low and there was country music – something about a pair of boots and a truck – filling up the car.
Luca unwrapped a brown bag and placed a doughnut on the dashboard above the radio. It sat between us like an artefact in a museum. It was covered in rainbow sprinkles. The glaze was still dripping down the sides and the smell invaded my nostrils. Desire exploded inside me as my mouth filled with water.
