Page 57 of Inferno
‘Did she jump into that lake by herself, Luca?’
He fell back on his haunches, a shadow falling across hisfeatures. ‘CJ just snapped. Delayed grief, or whatever. Felice had riled him up and then he had the gun pointed at her and she was gone and I couldn’t help her and I have her blood on my hands, and I know that. Iknow whatSara was at her core – she was nothing like the rest of us. Believe me, I hate myself for playing a part in her death, for not being able to stop a twelve-year-old with a gun, a twelve-year-old who shouldn’t evenhavea gun, the same way I couldn’t stop my brothers when they were twelve, so you can take your anger and hatred and pile it all the way up on top of mine if you want… but don’t for a second think it’s not eating me up inside.’
He got up and crossed back to where he was sitting, but this time he didn’t look at me when he dropped on to the bench. He dipped his chin to his chest and stared at his hands, and I saw in him the boy I had seen in Valentino’s portrait a long time ago. The person he really was – someone at odds with his life and trapped by a family much bigger than his dreams and desires. Grief surrounded him, and the only thing to do was keep on killing until the tallies were even. But that was the thing: they never would be.
I relented, not wanting to twist the knife any further, knowing now that he was already twisting it himself. ‘You’re not a monster.’
I caught the curl of his lip, the way his teeth nipped hard on it as though to draw blood. ‘What would you know?’ he said, his voice quiet.
‘I know you’re kind,’ I said, feeling a strange urge to comfort him, to soothe the emotional wounds he was inflicting upon himself.
‘Only in comparison to the others.’
‘No,’ I said, feeling surer now that what I was saying was true. ‘You’re like her.’ I remembered the last conversation I had shared with Sara, the way her eyes blazed when she spoke of a different life, another kind of existence she would forever be denied. He must have seen that in her, too. That’s why he picked her up that night, why he wanted to set her free. ‘You have the same heart.’
He snapped his head up and his eyes were so blue I almost lost my train of thought. ‘Are you trying to make it worse, Sophie?’
I offered him a sheepish smile. ‘I’m actually trying to make it better.’
‘You are not doing a good job.’
I shrugged. ‘It’s not exactly my forte. I’m good at changing the subject, though. Speaking of which, what the hell are you doing here?’
‘My grandfather’s brother was murdered in here yesterday.’ He gestured behind him. ‘Paperwork. I got the short straw.’
‘I heard about that.’ I tried to ascertain his level of grief but he seemed calm, his expression matter-of-fact. ‘I’m sorry.’
He tipped his head back so he was staring at the sky. ‘I’m sure you can guess what I’m about to say.’
‘?“It is what it is,”?’ I said, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. ‘It’s a pile of crap, is what it is.’
‘You’re so eloquent,’ he murmured.
‘You were right about the war,’ I said, wishing he would look at me and engage with the actual seriousness of his possible impending death.
‘Donata’s getting stronger by the day,’ he sighed. ‘There arerumours that the missing Marino twins have resurfaced. They’re rallying.’
I felt myself go pale. ‘What?’
‘Marino morale is high.’ Luca paused, chewing on his lip, before adding grimly, ‘and that is never a good thing.’
‘Where are they?’ I asked, wondering at the scope of revenge that was no doubt on their minds. Felice must be quaking in his expensive leather shoes.
Luca dipped his head further back, a groan of frustration catching in his throat as he exhaled. ‘If I knew that, I wouldn’t be lounging on this bench right now, Sophie.’
‘Are you worried?’ I asked, thinking of Donata and her troops, of all the ways she could hurt the Falcones. ‘About this… blood war?’
‘Yes, I am.’ He turned his attention back to me. ‘But I’m not worrying about my family, Sophie.’
‘Me?’ I ventured.
‘I don’t know what you were doing in Eden, or what your uncle wanted from you. I expect you won’t tell me anyway, but as long as Donata has access to you, as long as she feels you owe her something, you’re in trouble. I don’t know what your uncle bargained for that protection, but I’d bet it had something to do with you.’
The air was pressing down on us, and I could feel my back grow sticky with the rising humidity. ‘But what could I offer her?’
His jaw tightened, drawing hollows beneath his cheekbones. ‘I don’t know.’
‘I can’t give her anything.’
