Page 114 of My Rules for Revenge
“It’s like a fever dream.”
“It’s like a nightmare for me,” I added.
“I feel you. I’ve had nightmares about what happened. For the record, I still think you’re a good guy,” Jacob commented.
“I don’t feel like one, but thanks.”
“Fucking Carlos, man. He’s the one who helped Indira do that. If it weren’t for him, it probably wouldn’t have happened,” Jacob said, with regret in his voice.
“Do you still talk to him?”
“No. We’re not friends anymore. Last I heard, he got kicked out of PC support, and he’s on academic probation. And so is Manny. They cracked down on them abusing admin privileges and other things,” Jacob explained.
“Damn,” I exclaimed.
“I’m truly sorry about them, especially Carlos,” Jacob said with a tinge of regret in his voice.
I slowly shook my head.
“Don’t be sorry. It was my fault anyway. Those pictures were on my phone, and I let my friends leak them. That’s what started this freaking mess,” I confessed.
“Your friends on the basketball team?” Jacob asked to clarify.
“Yep. I shouldn’t even call them that. What kind of friends would do that?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
“I don’t know, man,” Jacob said and shook his head.
“I’ll tell you who, Frank Jackson, my supposed best friend. He’ll never admit it, though. I just know he’s the one who got my phone at that party.
“He has hundreds of nudes from all the girls he hooks up with. He’s a complete scumbag. I know he’s the one who sent Indira’s pictures to Porter, Marcus, and the other guys. I wanted to do something about it, you know, but when I tried to get the truth, they immediately shut me up. Frank came up to my face, looked me straight in the eye, and told me that if I talked about it any further, there were going to be problems,” I explained.
“Dude?!” Jacob exclaimed.
“If I threatened them in any way, they would’ve killed me. I was forced to forget about it.”
Jacob raised his eyebrows and drummed his fingers on the table.
“Shit, Eddy. I didn’t know about all that stuff.”
“It’s whatever. It’s done already. I can’t do anything about it,” I mumbled. I felt useless.
As I thought about it more and more, my emotions that had been bottled up for months finally got to me. I slowly grasped the handle of the knife that was placed next to me and picked it up. I subtly pointed it towards my throat. Jacob noticed and cautiously raised his hands.
“Eddy, what are you doing?”
“My life is screwed up, Jacob.”
“Dude, chill.”
“I don’t know what else to do.”
I slowly raised the knife higher and higher until Jacob suddenly leaned over and grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I struggled against him to raise it higher while my eyes began to water. After an intense couple of minutes, I dropped it, and it clattered onto the table.
“I’m sorry—I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I finally admitted.
“Jesus, man. Are you okay?”
“No. Everything’s wrong. I ruined everything, Jacob. I betrayed Indira first and then Heather. Even when I was trying to make things right with Heather, the thing with Indira snuck up on me. I’m a complete mess. Now, they both hate my guts. Why am I such a pussy? I’m a complete loser. There’s no point. There’s no point to anything,” I declared.
